Eh, I dunno about that. Yes, there are lots of really awesome gay people - but they're awesome because they're funny or generous or hot or talented or whatever, not because they're gay. And there is probably about the same proportion of awesome:meh in the gay population as in the straight population. It's also questionable whether there's a need for "reframing" since the derogatory use of "gay" was a reframe in itself; gay used to mean lighthearted and happy. That's what they call "ironic" - the initial reframe to refer to homosexuality tended to make those to whom the term was applied anything BUT lighthearted and happy. The fact that the term is no longer derogatory is great, but swinging it around AGAIN to mean "awesome" - well, that's the sort of thing that linguistic term papers angst about.
Total digression, sorry. Gay Panda, I feel very sorry for your mom. I'm sure a part of her DOES love you unconditionally - as a mom, I can't imagine anything my child could be that would make me not love her. If she grew up to be a raving right-wing nutcase I think we would have some strained conversations, but I would still love her with all my heart. And she already knows that if she wants to have girlfriends instead of boyfriends when she gets older, that is totally ok with us as long as they are nice people who treat her well.
And of course I feel bad for everything you went through, too - and grateful that you came out the other end, meaningfully scathed but largely intact. It's not true that what doesn't kill you makes you stronger (see: malaria) but if you can glean something of use from something that tried to kill you, I think that's called revenge, and that's ok too.