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Thread: Primal With A Side Of FABULOUS page 200

  1. #1991
    Gay Panda's Avatar
    Gay Panda is offline Senior Member
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    Oh, ottercat. Apparently all I needed this whole time was to include the word mayhap as often as possible.

    I am ashamed to admit that I almost bought Unicorn Vengeance just to revel in its badness. The romantic passages on that website had me howling with laughter.

  2. #1992
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    bloodorchid is online now Senior Member
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    i want to know what horrors happen when he bursts from his chassus
    beautiful
    yeah you are

    I mean there's so many ants in my eyes! And there are so many TVs, microwaves, radios... I think, I can't, I'm not 100% sure what we have here in stock.. I don't know because I can't see anything! Our prices, I hope, aren't too low!

  3. #1993
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    Quote Originally Posted by bloodorchid View Post
    i want to know what horrors happen when he bursts from his chassus
    I want to know, too, but first i want to wrap myself in a Tyvek suit (the comfort design style, thankyouverymuch) for my own protection.

  4. #1994
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    oooo.. good call. if shopping carts bother you then that would KILL you
    beautiful
    yeah you are

    I mean there's so many ants in my eyes! And there are so many TVs, microwaves, radios... I think, I can't, I'm not 100% sure what we have here in stock.. I don't know because I can't see anything! Our prices, I hope, aren't too low!

  5. #1995
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    It's monday morning (at least in Europe it is ), waiting for part six! I love to read your journal, Gay Panda! Nice way to start my day .
    My Journal: Candy in Primal Wonderland
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    Goal for 2012: keep weight steady (+/- 74 kg): check
    Goal for 2013: lose 10 kg and keep new weight (+/- 65 kg)

  6. #1996
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    Quote Originally Posted by Candy in Wonderland View Post
    It's monday morning (at least in Europe it is ), waiting for part six!
    Well, now it's Monday morning in the Magical Bamboo Forest, so I'll put up Part Six immediately!!! (Immediately after checking it for spelling mistakes one more time.)

  7. #1997
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    PART SIX:

    Sometimes the Head Honchos of our contracts visited the lab. There was no warning when this was to happen. Usually they just wanted to look at our clipboards of tests, and the lab techs would quietly work around them while they perused the results. The busy season was hard on Head Honchos too, and they didn’t want to chat. Just the numbers so they could determine their company’s next move, and then they would rumble away from the lab in their trucks leaving a cloud of dust behind.

    It had been another awful day with Toodles when Big Head of Head Honcho Incorporated arrived. I do not call him Big Head in fun; he was one of the most important people representing the largest company with whom our company worked. We nodded at one another and I passed him my clipboard. Then I stepped into the adjacent kitchen for a snack since he was blocking my instruments to look over the partial stream of completed tests.

    I was exhausted. The days started before dawn and often I wasn’t home until after dark. Having to do my job and Toodles’ job on top of it was wearing me down. Mr. Magazine Time wasn’t doing anything like normal, and the nicer boss and myself had to clean up his paperwork every morning before lab work could even begin. The paperwork wasn’t difficult, but Mr. Magazine Time found the task tedious and raced through it. In this way, he and Toodles were much alike. Eating my snack in the kitchen while other employees came in and out to get their lunches, I heard Toodles attempting to kick up a conversation with Big Head. He was polite yet terse, papers flicking back and forth on the clipboard, and then Toodles said, “You know, I just don’t have any faith in these results!”

    My mouth dropped in horror. I fled back into the lab and was thankful that the CEO’s daughter, who worked with the crew, had also overheard it while coming in for her lunch box. She leaned casually on the counter by the instruments to explain that the results were indeed accurate, and Toodles began to argue. Nothing we said stopped her. Our loaded looks did not penetrate. The results were off, the machines were misreading the tests, and she could also speed up efficiency if anyone would just listen to her! Aghast and panicking, I slipped into the back room to call my boss.

    “She is telling BIG HEAD of HEAD HONCHO INCORPORATED that his lab results aren’t any good!” I whisper-screamed into the receiver.
    “Oh my God! STOP HER!” my boss cried.
    “I tried! We tried! She just keeps going! She’s told him not to trust what he gets from us! That everything all season has been worthless!”
    “Hold on!” My boss called Mr. Magazine Time to explain the situation, and then connected our calls.
    “She’s doing what?” Mr. Magazine Time exclaimed.
    “Oh my God, oh my God! We have to get Toodles out of there!” shrilled my other boss.

    And bless his lazy heart, Mr. Magazine Time worked for the first time at his job in ten years. In a brisk voice, he said, “Listen to me. Take a deep breath. Go back to the lab and hang up the phone. Interrupt whatever she is saying to tell her that I need her for a project immediately back at the main office. She is to take her purse, since she will not be coming back to the lab for the day, and drive over here. Go do that.”

    I hung up and did as I was told. Toodles hesitated, concerned that I would be left to clean up without her, but then picked up her purse and left. I did not know what to say to Big Head, but his phone rang and he quit the scene while still speaking into it. The CEO’s daughter and I stared at each other. We didn’t know what kind of damage she had just wreaked with Big Head, and only time would tell.

  8. #1998
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    Waaaah, the suspense!
    My Journal: Candy in Primal Wonderland
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    Goal for 2012: keep weight steady (+/- 74 kg): check
    Goal for 2013: lose 10 kg and keep new weight (+/- 65 kg)

  9. #1999
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    PART SEVEN:

    One question remained: what to do with Toodles?

    The tension in the lab had grown unbearable. I said hello and goodbye and answered lab-related questions, but that was it. So I stubbornly wrote my book while she demanded attention. I ignored every kick of the counter. I ignored every sigh and cry of boredom. When I did not react, she began to giggle and look at me expectantly, so that I would ask what was funny. I ignored that, too. That made her angry, and for some days she’d been giving me the cold shoulder as punishment.

    I was angry, too. My job description did not list Entertaining Toodles, and I was flummoxed about how to handle this situation. I’d worked with many other techs in years previous and we’d had a wonderful time, the lab running like a smoothly oiled machine while we turned up the radio at YMCA and spelled it out upon our stools as the instruments titrated. But I could not stand Toodles! I’d brought this problem to my nicer boss, but she answered to Mr. Magazine Time, and he put the same time and attention to this facet of his job as he did the others: none. The employees in another department gave me pitying looks whenever I was at the main office, and one confessed that they felt sorry for me having to spend ten hours a day with Toodles because the one hour*** they had to spend with her was making them crazy.

    But what she said to Big Head was beyond the pale, and if Big Head complained to the CEOs or withdrew his contract, Mr. Magazine Time was going to look very, very bad. Spurred to work, he called a meeting with the nicer boss and myself to devise a strategy. I was heartened to see him doing something at last, and within in my mental File: Mr. Magazine Time: Pros/Cons Tick Tally, I finally had a tick to put under Pros****.

    The absolute worst of Crunch Time was ending. Although it meant I’d be working at a run, it was conceivable for me to run the lab on my own. That was fine with me. Mr. Magazine Time was going to take care of Big Head with a friendly call, and never allow Toodles in the lab again. But he could not fire the wife of the Tech Guy. In his conversation with her on Big Head Day, upon explaining that her behavior was inappropriate, she’d threatened to sue the company for creating a hostile workspace. The last thing the company needed was a lawsuit, and the second-to-last thing it needed was an angry Tech Guy. He was an excellent worker but a temperamental fellow, and people tiptoed around him to keep peace. If he felt that his wife was being mistreated and quit, another employee of his caliber would be hard to find. And so the company decided to cut her a sizable severance for her month of work and let her go, which it did the next week.

    The lawsuit never materialized. She appeared at the holiday party and gave the cold shoulder to me, and also the nicer boss (for dismissing her ideas on increasing efficiency), and settled in at the table with the payroll employees to eat her sandwiches and drink her punch. I picked a table far away but could not escape that manic laugh or cries of TOODLES every time someone left her table, and one of the payroll employees upon getting a refill invited me to join them.

    “Oh, God, no!” I burst. She followed my gaze back to the table, where Toodles was sitting stiffly because the nicer boss had stopped by to say hello to Tech Guy.
    “She’s a little strange,” the payroll employee whispered. I left the party soon after that, and thankfully it was the last time I ever saw Toodles.
    Last edited by Gay Panda; 03-19-2012 at 11:59 AM.

  10. #2000
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    UPDATE: (in explanation of *, **, ***, and ****)

    * Overhearing = eavesdropping. Since Mr. Magazine Time loved to play Spy and catch people Internet-surfing, he often crept about the cubicles listening in on conversations and slyly peering around corners.

    ** My bad is a Gay Panda Pet Peeve.

    *** In the last hour before Tech Guy was finished, Toodles had taken to plopping herself down in the center of the payroll cubicles to whine about how bored she was, speak in baby talk, and recite the entire cooking procedure for whatever was on her dinner menu. Payroll in Crunch Time was overwhelmed, but nothing they said convinced her to leave, and then she started 'helping'.

    **** Mr. Magazine Time lost his solitary Pros tick the next year, when he got Nicer Boss fired.

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