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Thread: Primal With A Side Of FABULOUS page 19

  1. #181
    Gay Panda's Avatar
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    Primal Blueprint Expert Certification
    Quote Originally Posted by bucharu View Post
    Well, you have made some 12% of yourself disappear, so perhaps your powers are just late blooming...?
    Bucharu, that really made me laugh. Today invisibility, tomorrow kinetic absorption!!!!

  2. #182
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    Besides absconding with my soul mate curly fries, primal makes my wallet circle sad faces on feelings charts. Gay Panda is fortunate that in a time of economic strife, the Panda Household is doing all right. I can’t go out and buy a mansion, or walk down the street cackling and shuffling hundred–dollar bills to make people envious. The limo that passed you today on the freeway did not have Gay Panda in it. But I don’t scrimp to get through the month, and if I see a snazzy shirt in a store, I buy it. I could not do so three days in a row, but this is far from qualifying as a life of deprivation.

    Yet primal makes my wallet sad, and I make it worse by shopping at Whole Foods. When I first went there, I hated it. The color scheme was anemic. The brands were foreign and it seemed so corporate hippie. Now when I go to Safeway, I’m overwhelmed. The products are so loud, dazzling reds and bright blues, block print and splashy graphics and free prizes*. I feel under siege and out of breath by the choices, the towering displays and Today Only Sales. Food at Whole Foods is food. Food at Safeway is an extreme sport, and I just want to leave. My only hesitation is at the meat counter, where what organic they have is a little cheaper.

    If I didn’t need to control my spending at all, I would buy only antibiotic-free, pasture-centered, farmer-hugged meats. Lady Friend keeps me on the gay-and-narrow in produce, but I don’t need encouragement in the meat department. A friend got me a subscription to PETA, and I found the magazines both likeable and ludicrous. Of course I don’t think animals should be confined to a small cage, pumped full of hormones, fed the wrong diet, and slaughtered by Chucky. But I won’t anthropomorphize my chickens. Avada Kedavra does not sing and dance in chorus with Imperio and Cruciatus when my back is turned; I doubt that Wingardium Leviosa contemplates philosophy by the setting sun. They lead good chicken lives of bugs and grass, and one day, I’ll eat them.

    Demanding that ALL my meat be antibiotic-free, pastured-centered, and farmer-hugged would make my grocery bill hit the roof. Is it better to eat some organic and some conventional, or buy what I can of organic and skip conventional? But I’m not going to eat tofu for protein. How is it ethical to support conventional? Yet we pick and choose our ethics. It wasn’t like I walked to Whole Foods. I drove my car there, supporting the oil industry. When I bought that snazzy shirt, I did not trace down its origins to make sure that it did not generate under the tears of an abused sweatshop orphan.

    Since I do not have the space to raise sheep or the desire to make my own clothes, and I don’t slaughter my own cows or walk everywhere, I compromise. The Goth Teen Panda who sulks about in my heart says that I have sold out my soul, and Adult Panda cringes, and then tells it to put on Nine Inch Nails and write some broody poetry about Angst and shut up. Sometimes my dollar goes to good things. Other times, it doesn’t. Goth Teen Panda is an absolutist, and would insist that Adult Panda could have redirected the snazzy shirt money to the organic ground beef. Adult Panda does not need to spend $20 on Netflix every month, or purchase bubbly water, or have an Internet connection. Adult Panda chose to install AC when Goth Teen Panda would have cooled by the glow of superiority.

    Goth Teen Panda: So you’ve chosen to consign a LIVING, BREATHING creature to the misery of a feedlot, so that you can drink San Pellegrino and watch MST3K.
    Adult Panda: Yes.
    Goth Teen Panda: I can’t believe we’re the same person. You SUCK.
    Adult Panda: Yes.

  3. #183
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    PET PEEVE UPDATE: (in explanation of *) The definitions of prize in its noun form are (thank you, online free dictionary!) something offered/won as an award for superiority or victory, and something worth striving for since it is a highly desirable possession.

    Eating your way to the bottom of a cereal box (or just dipping your hand to the bottom like Young Gay Panda) hardly qualifies anyone as superior or victorious. Then again, Gay Panda was once a teacher, and knew of one family at the school who gave their child a present EVERY SINGLE DAY just for going to class. When the bar is set that low, perhaps getting to the bottom of the box is an accomplishment, and Gay Panda is an out-of-touch old fuddy-duddy who doesn’t understand that times and children have changed. Or perhaps Gay Panda was abused, because when Young Gay Panda went to school, no one offered congratulations or presents or a parade. It was just expected.

    (Pity the future boss of that extremely spoiled child.)

    To strive is to make great efforts in order to obtain something, or to struggle or fight vigorously. Getting to the bottom of the box for Young Gay Panda involved A: the swan dive of one’s dominant hand, to be performed as deeply as one can go before meeting The Resistance; B: the wiggle, in which one breaks apart some of the compactness in The Resistance and gains another inch of ground; C: the swirl, done in a clockwise motion while yelling at the Perpetually Sticky Panda Siblings, “I GOT HERE FIRST!”; and D: the shove, in which the arm forces the hand down further through the loosening of The Resistance, and in which spiteful cereal bits scratch one’s fingers. This is followed by E: the scrape, when the fingers reach the smooth cardboard flap of the bottom; F: the block, concerning a sticky Panda Sibling swipe; G: the parentheses, which consists of bracing the box against one’s belly and pulling it closer to make the sides bend out; and H: the slide, a slow but inexorable movement to either end of the box looking for the dusty plastic jackpot.

    While this looks very complicated and artful and Olympic-worthy when written out, Young Gay Panda did not consider it a great effort, an act of vigor, or the same sort of struggle like what was going on outside the box with the Panda Siblings. It is purely subjective if you consider a Pokemon pencil topper to be a highly desirable possession. It is indeed desirable if you like Pokemon, but what child finds it highly desirable? For Young Gay Panda, highly desirable was a bike that went really fast, a stack of Oz books, and Cadbury Eggs. It would have been putting the sticky Panda Siblings up for adoption, or better yet, finding out that I was the long-lost Royal Gay Panda Cub of a grieving king and queen in a magical land where I had a black belt in sorcery and a closet of Renaissance clothes.

    It was not a pencil topper. Young Gay Panda wailed to be parted from a beloved stuffed animal, and still remembers sadly the book forgotten at camp, but honestly cannot remember a single free prize wrenched victoriously from the bottom of a cereal box. Adult Gay Panda can be a stickler for words, and thinks Crappy Toy Included, Now With Lead Poisoning is more accurate than Free Prize, but cereal companies do not keep this panda’s digits on speed dial to consult.
    Last edited by Gay Panda; 09-16-2011 at 07:40 AM.

  4. #184
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    Well this is an awesome blog. You have panache and I hope you enjoy writing this stuff as much as I enjoy reading it.

    Quote Originally Posted by Gay Panda View Post
    Yet primal makes my wallet sad, and I make it worse by shopping at Whole Foods. When I first went there, I hated it. The color scheme was anemic. The brands were foreign and it seemed so corporate hippie. Now when I go to Safeway, Iím overwhelmed. The products are so loud, dazzling reds and bright blues, block print and splashy graphics and free prizes*. I feel under siege and out of breath by the choices, the towering displays and Today Only Sales. Food at Whole Foods is food. Food at Safeway is an extreme sport, and I just want to leave.
    Ha ha so well said. Extreme groceries.

    Good luck with everything.

  5. #185
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    ^Excellent word choice (panache), but then again, Cyrano de Bergerac is my fave.

    Great points on the quandry of ethics with eating 100% primal, GP. I too struggle with this. The only "organic" food I've gotten since starting is some farm-raised eggs & chicken breast from Maine (which my grandmother paid for). I make little promises to myself that if I can afford it, I will do 100% for the rest of my life, but until then, little piggies suffer for my pork chops and I'm okay with it.
    Journal on depression/anxiety
    Currently trying to figure out WTF to eat (for IBS-C).

  6. #186
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    Always so pleasing to return home after a long day at work and have a good chuckle over the musing of Gay Panda!Happy! Happy!Joy !Joy!

  7. #187
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    Goth Teen Panda: So you’ve chosen to consign a LIVING, BREATHING creature to the misery of a feedlot, so that you can drink San Pellegrino and watch MST3K.
    Adult Panda: Yes.
    Goth Teen Panda: I can’t believe we’re the same person. You SUCK.
    Adult Panda: Yes.
    I was watching "The F-Word" and Ramsay was raising lambs in his backyard. He built them a little playset and they were CAPERING. Stop being adorable, damn you, you fluffy, capering, baaing, delicious, juicy........ I am a ghoul.
    Cooking Primal with Otter - Journal
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    "Not baked goods, Professor, baked bads!" ~ The Tick

  8. #188
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    i was reading this the other day while eating and i laughed, inhaled and almost died
    (not really almost)

    i just wanted to share my dorkiness and like-age of your blog
    beautiful
    yeah you are

    I mean there's so many ants in my eyes! And there are so many TVs, microwaves, radios... I think, I can't, I'm not 100% sure what we have here in stock.. I don't know because I can't see anything! Our prices, I hope, aren't too low!

  9. #189
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gay Panda View Post
    Gay Panda was once a teacher, and knew of one family at the school who gave their child a present EVERY SINGLE DAY just for going to class. When the bar is set that low, perhaps getting to the bottom of the box is an accomplishment, and Gay Panda is an out-of-touch old fuddy-duddy who doesn't understand that times and children have changed. Or perhaps Gay Panda was abused, because when Young Gay Panda went to school, no one offered congratulations or presents or a parade. It was just expected.

    (Pity the future boss of that extremely spoiled child.)
    Nah, no worries. That extremely spoiled child won't be employed, or not for long.
    "If man made it, don't eat it." ..Jack LaLanne
    "It doesn't matter how beautiful your theory is, it doesn't matter how smart you are.
    If it doesn't agree with experiment, it's wrong." ..Richard Feynman

    beachrat's primal journal

  10. #190
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    Quote Originally Posted by beachrat View Post
    Nah, no worries. That extremely spoiled child won't be employed, or not for long.
    Seriously, what is that child going to do when the real world presents itself in time?! The coddling was to such an extreme that A: he came in late to school every single day, because his parents felt he needed his beauty sleep more; B: teachers were not allowed to discipline him because his behavior was purportedly caused by allergies; C: he was not disciplined at home because his parents did not have a good place for time-outs.

    I have never met a more unpleasant, unpopular, and entitled child than this one, and his parents have no idea how much harder they have made his life. No one wants to play with him, or picks him for their math group, and it's just sad. But his parents blame the school and he blames the other kids, and a big whack of the Clue Stick is due all around.

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