*Truth: After an entire cubhood of D.A.R.E. and Just Say No and This Is Your Brain On Drugs and Officer Scare You Sober and piling into one auditorium after another for skits on the terrible consequences of Naughty Pills and Goof Juice, the very first time in college someone actually did offer Gay Panda something, what was Gay Panda's response?
A: No! I'm high on life.
B: No! Drugs are for losers. You shouldn't take them either.
C: No! I can't do drugs until I can afford rehab at Promises in Malibu. They have tennis courts!
Well, maybe I shouldn't answer that.