GAY PANDA: Oh, damn. I forgot the shopping list.
DEBAUCHERY: I REMEMBER EVERYTHING ON IT!!!
GAY PANDA: Good, because I don’t.
DEBAUCHERY: FIRST IS HIPPIE KITKATS!!!
GAY PANDA: Are you sure?
DEBAUCHERY: YES!!! YOU WROTE HIPPIE KITKATS IN REALLY BIG LETTERS!!!
GAY PANDA: Well, okay. One hippie KitKat into the cart!
DEBAUCHERY: SECOND IS HIPPIE MNMS!!!
GAY PANDA: I really don’t think that was on the list.
DEBAUCHERY: PROVE ME WRONG!!!
GAY PANDA: You’re right. I can’t. One hippie-
REMORSE: Debauchery! Stop teasing Gay Panda!
RESOLVE: Neither of those things is on the list.
DEBAUCHERY: THIRD IS HIPPIE PEANUT BUTTER CUPS!!!
GAY PANDA: I think the hippie KitKat is enough. Don’t I need bacon?
DEBAUCHERY: LET’S GET A SLICE OF THAT DELI PIZZA!!!
GAY PANDA: I hate shopping with my id.
DEBAUCHERY: WHAT DID YOU CALL ME??? AN IT??? I’M A GIRL!!!
REMORSE: If you’d eaten before shopping, Debauchery couldn’t shout this loudly.
RESOLVE: If you’d shopped before running out of food, you'd have had something to eat.
DEBAUCHERY: A GIRL!!! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU, GAY PANDA???
GAY PANDA: A panda. Now shut up or I’ll sneeze you off my shoulder.
DEBAUCHERY: FOURTH ON THE LIST IS CADBURY CRÈME EGGS!!!
GAY PANDA: No, I don’t want to go to CVS.
DEBAUCHERY: FIFTH ON THE LIST IS . . . NO, DON’T DO IT!!!
GAY PANDA: Achoo!
REMORSE: There she goes. You know she’ll just fly back.
GAY PANDA: Yes, but we can get away from the candy aisle before she catches up-
DEBAUCHERY: I’M BAAAACK!!! DID YOU MISS ME???
RESOLVE/REMORSE/GAY PANDA: No.
DEBAUCHERY: COME ON, GAY PANDA, YOU’VE BEEN SO GOOD LATELY!!!
GAY PANDA: No, I haven’t! I’m sick and Resolve caught it worse, and then everything went to hell. I haven’t eaten much of anything for days and didn’t even take my supplements. At least I’m not so plugged up sinus-wise this time around. Were grains doing that? I must consult Forum Bro Science.
DEBAUCHERY: THEN BE BAD ONE MORE TIME BEFORE YOU’RE GOOD AGAIN!!!
GAY PANDA: Fine. Dried apricots.
DEBAUCHERY: DO YOU KNOW HOW BORING YOU ARE???
GAY PANDA: I’ve always known how boring I am. You fail to sting me.
DEBAUCHERY: BUT YOU HAVE SAD FACES ON YOUR FEELINGS CHARTS!!!
GAY PANDA: Writing about why I self-published is sad, but I don’t need chocolate to cope.
DEBAUCHERY: I NEED CHOCOLATE TO COPE!!!
GAY PANDA: And so you’re getting the hippie KitKat. Can we move on?