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Thread: Primal With A Side Of FABULOUS page 16

  1. #151
    PixieKitten's Avatar
    PixieKitten is offline Senior Member
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    Primal Fuel
    You don't need it Panda!!! The birds will enjoy it more than you! Or the homeless! FIND A HOBO!!!!!
    Bunny trainer extraordinaire!

  2. #152
    Solldara's Avatar
    Solldara is offline Senior Member
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    I'd follow your blog - and if you add in some adverts at the side for useful stuff it may even generate a bit of cash

    Re the bread - I'm not sure that your friend understands how important succeeding at this is to you - if they do and have still brought it then I wouldn't still be calling them a friend. It probably just that you need to have a bit of a heart to heart - succeeding in Primal really gives you a boast mood and confidence wise, as when you start to feel proud of yourself for sticking to it it spills over into other areas - germs phew - you'll soon be strong enough to take them on with one arm behind your back

    Give the breads to the birds or return it too her thanking her for the effort but just saying you don't want to waste it as you're sure its lovely, as the problem with accepting and keeping it is that she'll think she's doing you a favor and will bring more

    Good luck

    Edit - Great to hear your enjoying berries - I'm a great berry fan but I love fresh strawberries and frozen raspberries straight from the freezer.

    Btw - Do you think your cat is related to mine - maybe long lost cousins from the other side of the pond
    Last edited by Solldara; 09-13-2011 at 04:50 AM.
    1st June 11 to 30st Aug 11 - 36lb removed in 13 weeks
    Messed about on and off for the rest of the year

    June 2012 - Had the practice - now time to do it for real

  3. #153
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    Every night, I tuck myself into sheets of the purest mulberry silk in claret and rest my head on a king-size cruelty-free heirloom Eiderdown pillow, and I never count the fifth woolly sheep before I’ve fallen into a blissfully deep sleep that lasts eight hours and is dreamless since my subconscious has nothing to work out in the perfect Eden of my existence.

    For the adorably gullible among you, this is all a lie. There are many reasons why I do not sleep. One we have already encountered in the League of Demonic Canines, of which Satan, Voldemort, Dr. Evil, Nurse Ratched, and Sauron play major roles with a bit part given to yappy little Professor Chaos from much farther down the block. The other reasons may appear in later installments of Primal With A Side Of FABULOUS, but last night can be blamed entirely on Benign Poltergeist and the kitty.

    Gay Panda subscribes to no religious newsletters, but this may change so that an exorcist can be hired in order to rid the house of Benign Poltergeist. I do not think exorcists make house calls for those who are not practitioners of their faith, and so I will lie and buy the necessary accoutrement, and kneel or salute or sacrifice or do whatever it is that must be done to get rid of this infernal member of my home.

    If one were to crack open the skull of the kitty, one would find nothing but bubbles and ticker tape blinking I CAN HAZ BACON? I CAN HAZ BACON? separated by shifty-eyed Pac-Man ghosts. When the sad day comes that I stand over her grave and list her life’s accomplishments, I will be limited. Once, she stepped on a spider. There was the day she lit her tail on fire, and those travels in Narnia from getting herself trapped in closets. The time she fell asleep on the entertainment center and rolled off, and the time Lady Friend sat on her head. I will mention her nervous tic, performed daily, in which she jumped on the armrest of the recliner to sneeze on Gay Panda’s laptop screen.

    And then I will eulogize her obsession with Benign Poltergeist. While I walk on the primal treadmill and Poo Hurler hurls poo, while you out there are crossfitting and heavy lifting, Primal Coach Kitty is getting in her exercise by chasing Benign Poltergeist around the house. I have no idea what it says to get her so riled, but a tubby little tabby zooming about after nothing with a froggy war cry of WAAO-WAAAOO-WAAAOOOOO is a common sight in Gay Panda’s home.

    Sometimes Benign Poltergeist hides my cell phone or measuring spoons, but its primary enjoyment is derived from tormenting the kitty. She has not put together in 15 years that she is being played. Kitty is going to take that poltergeist DOWN! In daytime, it’s funny. At nighttime, I want the exorcist. When it goes on too long, I put her outside, and she retaliates by jumping in mud and then walking across the car, or developing a hairball that can be saved until she’s let back in.

    Last night Benign Poltergeist must have been taunting the kitty with yo-mama jokes, because her level of umbrage shook the house, capsized the bottles of shampoo, and woke me at 2. I yelled at the kitty, who gave me a look that plainly meant: did you HEAR what that translucent bastard just SAID? And the ruckus continued. So an exhausted Gay Panda apologizes for a post that has nothing to do with primal, and was really just an opportunity to whine before going back to bed for a nap.

  4. #154
    AbigailLyn's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by PixieKitten View Post
    FIND A HOBO!!!!!
    I LOVE THIS! I'm going to use it in my daily speech. luckily there are plenty of hobos aka passed out drunk fools on the street that I'm sure would love bread. Maybe we should suggest this to Mark as a challenge - find your neighborhood hobo that would appreciate carbs more than you.

    CHALLENGE ACCEPTED

  5. #155
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    BREAD UPDATE: Thank you for the encouraging words, everyone! I gave the bread a loving, mournful sniff, one hand reaching to rip off a chunk and the other hand holding it back, and then sent it on untouched to a new lord and master.

    I adore bread. But I’ve spent every day of my adult life in obesity after starting those accursed pills at 19. I don’t know, with the damage done, that it is feasible to reach a high-normal weight. I DO know that if there is any chance, I am not going to sabotage it. Bread does not find its way into my shopping cart; I no longer bake my own. At restaurants, I only eat their particular bread if it is my absolute favorite. If it’s not, I skip it there, too.

    Last night, I thought: I want to be normal more than I want a slice. If ever I have a book published again, I don’t want to feel self-conscious about my weight at signings like the last time. I’m already nervous enough that I’m going to say something dumb, or that Almost Santa (now THAT was a surreal experience) will be back in attendance, ready to burst into song when I finish speaking. I don’t strive for thin, as I never have been, but I do want to be on the upper end of average, which is 166 at most for my height. So I turned down the bread and wished it well, and today I am sad about it, but sad is so much better than a three-day bloat, stall, appetite increase, and feeling of malaise.
    Last edited by Gay Panda; 10-20-2011 at 09:59 AM.

  6. #156
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    wohoo!high five to the Pandster!I'm sure if I ate bread right now it would make me very ill as it does anytime I eat it..go you and surely 189 to follow closely behind

  7. #157
    Gay Panda's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Solldara View Post
    Do you think your cat is related to mine - maybe long lost cousins from the other side of the pond
    I have never had a kitty like this one, so befuddled by the very basics of Being A Cat. She doesn't even understand how to approach a human for petting: she crab walks over with her head cocked to the side until she bumps into a hand. And since she has observed that people stand in a shower to get clean, she sits on the bathmat (with an occasional impatient WAOOOO) to wait her turn, and then strolls in to sit on the tile and wash herself.

    What does your kitty do? Perhaps they ARE cousins!
    Last edited by Gay Panda; 09-13-2011 at 11:41 AM.

  8. #158
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    Quote Originally Posted by anjelevil View Post
    wohoo!high five to the Pandster!I'm sure if I ate bread right now it would make me very ill as it does anytime I eat it..go you and surely 189 to follow closely behind
    Thank you! I felt so rewarded today when I came in at 190.8, the lowest yet in years. That would NOT have happened had I eaten the bread yesterday.

  9. #159
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    I felt so rewarded today when I came in at 190.8, the lowest yet in years. That would NOT have happened had I eaten the bread yesterday.
    Hooray for keeping long term goals in mind and resisting temptation! Personally, I would've put on two pounds of bloat from standing too close to fresh bread.
    Cooking Primal with Otter - Journal
    Otter's (Defunct) Primal Log
    "Not baked goods, Professor, baked bads!" ~ The Tick

  10. #160
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    Quote Originally Posted by PixieKitten View Post
    FIND A HOBO!!!!!
    Seconding AbigailLyn. This journal is priceless. Gypsy curse.* Thwarting the indolent ambitions of the tiny Mr Magazine Times in my fat cells. FIND A HOBO.

    So much awesome on these pages. Thanks everyone!


    *I will now alternate Gypsy Curse with my Gay-Panda-Approved Blinding Science response.
    "If man made it, don't eat it." ..Jack LaLanne
    "It doesn't matter how beautiful your theory is, it doesn't matter how smart you are.
    If it doesn't agree with experiment, it's wrong." ..Richard Feynman

    beachrat's primal journal

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