Primal With A Side Of FABULOUS page 159

[Gay Panda]

Seems the Evil Carb Overlords (in cahoots with the Fairy of Debauchery) tried to infect MDA with a Malicious Internetz Carb Virus that we would all download and thus be infected, but the Valiant Techies foiled their evil plan and prevailed . . .

* shakes fist at Evil Carb Overlords and the Fairy of Debauchery *

Gay Panda ran headfirst into the Wall of Fail with primal due to their shenanigans. The panda body is so mad over Saturday's quarter of a cookie and Sunday's lousy handful of dried apricots and chocolate that I want to scream. Really, body? Three and a half pounds of water retention over THAT?!

I tire of being such a very, very sensitive flower.

[naiadknight]

I gave up on any pretense of "delicate flower" around the same time I kicked a boy's ass for saying I should "go play with the Barbies, freak" in elementary school. Come to the Dark Side, we have bacon.
On another note, bear in mind that retraining oneself takes effort, time, and an all out WAR. You aren't just retraining the brain- if only it were that easy. You're sending the body through an equivalent of a time warp boot camp. After years of eating like crap, you can't possibly expect the animal panda body to suddenly make the connection the panda brain did. It'll take some beleaguring, some browbreating, some infuriated rage fests, and a LOT of work to get the body to snap back to what it should want to eat. Until then, it'll protest the only way it knows how: numbers. It won't win, if you don't let it.

[Lilyheart]

I am so glad we are back! Total MDA withdrawal. I must have loaded the page five hundred times waiting for it to come back. *curses at the Evil Carb Overlords*

[theprimalcajun]

*shakes fist at Evil Carb Overlords & the FoD & yells at them to leave us alone & be gone!!" (did it work?)

never fear oh delicate flower...this too shall pass...(pun intended!)
(Why am I hearing Dory singing "Just keep swimming, just keep swimming...in my head???) (reference to Finding Nemo)

[naiadknight]

(Why am I hearing Dory singing "Just keep swimming, just keep swimming...in my head???) (reference to Finding Nemo)

Mine? Mine? MinemineMINE?

[BeachTeach]

The Evil Carb Overlords are a bunch of jerk-pants who should be kicked repeatedly in the shins. I went through withdrawal and had to actually, you know, talk to real people in front of me instead of socializing on MDA.

I hear you on the water retention, Panda. After the Great Craft Brew Debacle of 2012, I swear I could almost see my stomach swell and grow rounder. Like Violet in Willy Wonka when she chews the gum and gets to the dessert part.

Makes me wonder how I didn't actually pop when I was face down in Pop Tarts and Wheat Thins pre-Paleo.

[Gay Panda]

Dear mmggoleaaa01,

I jinxed myself by thinking of you today, and now I shake my fist at the heavens and rail obscenities in the ancient tongues of my ancestors since you have appeared. My fiercest literary critic and how I had HOPED not to awaken your interest the night before I post the first chapter of The Dammerung on my blog! Alas, it is too late.

Now I brace myself for scathing commentary and take cover from the dry heaves of your bitter soul. I do not visit YOUR blog and bother YOU, mmggoleaaa01, and it is not as if you fail to give me rich ground. Your metaphors are tired and your links are broken, and you cannot tell the difference between they're/there/their. You fancy yourself the master of haiku, and yet when I conduct a recount, I find that yet again you have flouted syllabic limitations. I do not like your background, or that the cursor trails snowflakes when I move it, and asking me to be your friend on MySpace makes me flinch. Really, darling? MySpace?! Even behind-the-times Gay Panda knows where it's happening, and it ain't on MySpace (or Google Plus, for that matter).

I fear you and what you might do on my blog, but I am posting the chapter anyway. I am also including a Behind The Scenes comment after it, so that those who are curious can see what I was thinking when I wrote it. You cannot keep Gay Panda down, neither here at MDA nor there at The Dammerung, and note which of there/their/they're I used, and why.

Love,
Gay Panda

[Lady Friend]

So, guess who learned how to schedule posts? That's right, my preciouses, we are talking first chapter posted at 00:00 MBFST*, February 14, 2012 and I don't even have to be AWAKE to make it happen. Oh, Word Press, how I love you!

*that would be "Magical Bamboo Forest Standard Time."

[Lady Friend]

In other news . . .

THE DAMMERUNG begins tomorrow.

Are you ready?!?

[Gay Panda]

In other news . . .

THE DAMMERUNG begins tomorrow.

Are you ready?!?

How much chocolate have you been eating, Lady Friend?