Primal With A Side Of FABULOUS page 124

[SweetPickles]

I'll buy your e-book! I'll buy it! What's it about? Oh, who cares, you are one of my favorite writers and I'll buy it no matter what. I hope it's not like The Bridges of Madison County, though.

[theprimalcajun]

I agree with Sweet Pickles & everyone else!! I don't care what its about as long as you wrote it! But I am partial to the sci/fi/fantasy/whatever genre!!

Put me down for a copy! As a matter of fact on payday I'm buying an e-book called the Primal Tightwad! I don't have a Kindle but have IBooks. I have purchased several e-books & while I prefer a paper copy if its not available that way & I want it I'll buy it!

So hurry Gay Panda!!! We are all waiting with a worm on our tongues!! (otherwise known as baited breath!) (ok so we'uns down south have funny sayings...sorry)

[Gay Panda]

The Fairy of Debauchery has worn a groove into Gay Panda’s shoulder.

She will not leave, although her throat is getting hoarse from too many rounds of singing Ke$ha and yelling at me about cereal and potatoes and sugar. I can only hope that it continues this way, her voice growing more and more faint as she is not indulged. Last weekend at Trader Joe’s, I looked at the candy display and heard all three of my fairies speak at once.

RESOLVE: Candy is not on the shopping list.
REMORSE: Seriously, Gay Panda? You don’t even like any of that candy. It’s not worth it.
DEBAUCHERY: CANDYCANDYCANDY!!!

But you can see her laryngitis from the smaller size of her words. I didn’t buy anything. She swatted me with her Twizzler lasso and hexed my radio to only play whiny songs on the half hour drive home. As I type this she is still present, because I haven’t had quite enough for breakfast. But eating brown sugar out of the bag just seems gross, no matter how she encourages it, and Gay Panda is not going to squirt the second bottle of expired chocolate sauce still in my fridge into my mouth. I’ll make eggs after I post, and all of you should cluster at my window because Gay Panda is wearing one of those jammie ensembles* that could make an ice cube break out into a hot sweat.

I want to indulge Debauchery just out of exasperation, but I haven’t been. For the past few days my weight spiraled upwards anyway, and for a split second I thought what is the point of this? Eating high fat circles the disgusted faces on my feelings charts, and keeping such close track of my foods is a pain in the panda rump. But then I reminded myself that this is what my body does and has always done, and I am just not one of those people whose extra pounds rocket away. That is because all of my fat cells are inhabited by tiny Mr. Magazine Times, and they don’t want to go. And who can blame them? I look damn fine in my jammies.

So I didn’t give in to cravings and my weight shot up, and then suddenly today it shot back down to a new low of 181.2 pounds of panda. Gay Panda’s eyes widened to cartoonish proportions to see that, and checked to make sure none of my toes were hooked over the side of the scale. They were not. 181.2. One day I might see the 170s, and I have not seen those in more years than I care to count. It isn’t a pipe dream. Not that long from now, I might be kvetching in my journal about how my body won’t budge from 178, that number the new normal and I will be annoyed about it. That is hard to imagine, but months ago, 181.2 was hard to imagine. When I began this journal weighing in the low 190s, it was hard to imagine that I might actually reach the high 180s.

Losing weight slowly is aggravating, but even so, it’s losing. From my first post in late August to this one, I have lost about twelve pounds. It’s less than a pound a week over four-and-a-half months, but they have added up so that I am 181.2 instead of 193.8, and that is incredible.

DEBAUCHERY: LET’S EAT THOSE CHOCOLATE CHIPS!!! YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO-
GAY PANDA: SHUT UP!!!

[Gay Panda]

UPDATE: (in explanation of *)

* There, now, don’t crowd! I have more windows. Today is the Lipstick Jammie Pants paired with a nubby grey sweatshirt that announces NEBRASKA in a lovely red cursive. I am also wearing white athletic socks, one of which I believe I tried to build a hoard with last May to no success. Gay Panda is indeed looking sick and sexyfied today. Ke$ha, you make my brain hurt.

[ottercat]

congrats on the loss!! I am working at home today in my flannel fuschia-and-orange-plaid-with-penguin-motif jammies and black hoodie that I wear everywhere

[Gay Panda]

I am working at home today in my flannel fuschia-and-orange-plaid-with-penguin-motif jammies and black hoodie that I wear everywhere

::: STAMP STAMP STAMP STAMP STAMP :::

That thundering sound you just heard was the stampede of people running from my window to yours, ottercat.

[Redflame]

You people in your jammies SUCK

Signed sincerely,
Slave to the master, at work in her big girl work clothes and pissey about it

[Gay Panda]

You people in your jammies SUCK

Signed sincerely,
Slave to the master, at work in her big girl work clothes and pissey about it

::: STAMP STAMP STAMP STAMP STAMP :::

That was everyone running to Redflame's place to snatch up her jammies and take them to her at work.

All right, who else out there needs a thundering horde?

[Cave Woman]

I'm gonna have to look at the flannel jammie pants next time I'm at a store that sells such things. You two make them sound oh so desirable! I work at home in my fuzzy robe, no jammies. Or brown yoga pants and sweatshirt with a moose on the front. I'm not really sure if many of my clothes pass for big girl clothes, but they must, as no one stares when I go out into the world.

[Griffin]

what is the point of this?

That is how I began my Primal Journey. I too suffer depression (luckily I'm too stubborn to lose much functionality) so I know this phrase well.