Primal With A Side Of FABULOUS page 115

[phreebie]

Please! Not in front of the kids...

[Gay Panda]

You're right, phreebie. L'eggs and I would like to extend the olive branch, Lady Friend. Actually, L'eggs is extending eight of them and I will make you a pork chop. Let's go to Whole Foods together, all three of us. You can push the cart and I will let L'eggs sit on my shoulder, because no one with a tarantula on his or her shoulder ever has to wait in line at the cash register. You hate waiting in line and L'eggs will end that misery for you. Also, I will outfit L'eggs in an array of cunning hats. No one can resist a tarantula in a beret! And just wait until you see the jester's cap! It comes with eight matching booties with jingles. How about I dress L'eggs in that and then the jingles will warn you when our little friend is creeping too close?

Lady Friend and Gay Panda and little L'eggs . . . our family will be unconventional but bound with ties stronger than the silk that unravels from our spider's feet. How can you say no?

[robotunicr0n]

Gay Panda. Take what you can in self control. I am drunk.. and I hate it. A poor show of self control. I'll be ok though. Grats on being reliable to your diet. That carb flu will get gone soon!

[Sigi]

Let's go to Whole Foods together, all three of us. You can push the cart and I will let L'eggs sit on my shoulder, because no one with a tarantula on his or her shoulder ever has to wait in line at the cash register. You hate waiting in line and L'eggs will end that misery for you. Also, I will outfit L'eggs in an array of cunning hats. No one can resist a tarantula in a beret! And just wait until you see the jester's cap! It comes with eight matching booties with jingles. How about I dress L'eggs in that and then the jingles will warn you when our little friend is creeping too close?

Ah! Your little family will be beyond adorable. Even I am feeling some warmth towards wee L'eggs. Now if he/she could kindly get word out into the 'pidey world that my house should be out of bounds to all his/her brethren, so we don't have a repeat of last week's huntsman-removal-from-Sigi's-place-complete-with-brooms-and-squealing, that would be dandy!

[hockeyfan7]

Gay Panda, you might have to take up knitting and knit L'eggs some cute little leg warmers in all different colors and patterns.

[Gay Panda]

Sometimes, I hate my subconscious.

It is not uncommon for me to wake at 2:24 or 4:16 in the morning for no other reason than my subconscious found a spelling mistake in Chapter 13 of one of my books. Although I appreciate such attentiveness, why couldn’t it wait until morning? My brain never shuts off during the day and part of it is still going at night, flicking through pages to find inconsistencies of character or grammatical errors, solving sticky plot points in rough drafts and giving me names and ideas for future stories. Half the time I wake from an unrelated dream with the thought in mind (usually the smaller problems like grammar) and half the time I have long dreams in which I am trapped at a too-small desk in a classroom, furiously taking notes on my own book as a grumpy teacher slaps the chalkboard with a pointer. That is usually the solution my subconscious finds for resolving bigger creative problems.

The other night it happened at 11:47, my brain shaking me awake to display a singular/plural problem on page 265. Since I refused to get out of bed to fix it at once, or turn on the light to make a note of it on a pad of paper, my subconscious worried that I might forget and therefore continued to present it for the rest of the night by various methods. I am hopeful that this is the last mistake it finds for this particular book and maybe it is, because last night instead I dreamed about sugar.

Clutched in my paws was a coupon for free candy and I stood in the aisle at CVS giddy with excitement. What should I choose? There were infinite selections in the never-ending aisle, capping off with a three story chocolate cake on a top shelf. I paced back and forth, thrilled and overwhelmed, and then I became aware that I had an audience.

It was not just any audience, but an audience of admirers. Three exceedingly attractive people were checking me out as I dismissed the jug of Twizzlers and contemplated the Take Five. After all, I’m trying to make good food decisions, and a lousy little Take Five will do much less damage than a jug of Twizzlers or a whole cake. I stopped looking at candy to admire my admirers back, and then returned to my debate at the shelves. I could handle a jug of Twizzlers! Just two a day!

“Maybe you’d like to join us for dinner,” said the first of the three exceedingly attractive people.
Ever gifted at flirtation, Gay Panda squealed like a hyper four-year-old, “I have a coupon!”
“Or we could do something else,” said the second of the three with a wink.
“I have a coupon for candy,” Gay Panda explained, waving it in the air.
The last of the three was more direct. “We think you’re hot. Come home with us.”
And Gay Panda indifferently turned back to the shelves to drool at KitKat bars.

Yes, my dream self turned down three exceedingly attractive people to leer with lascivious intent at a pile of stupid KitKats. You can imagine what mood this left me in upon awakening. The odds are most assuredly against actually finding myself in an aisle of CVS with a trio of romantically inclined admirers, yet I could drive there any damn day of my life to buy candy. The carb flu headache was painful, but this dream was just vicious.

Subconscious, you’re fired.

[Gay Panda]

Gay Panda. Take what you can in self control. I am drunk.. and I hate it. A poor show of self control. I'll be ok though. Grats on being reliable to your diet. That carb flu will get gone soon!

robotunicr0n, I was ANYTHING but a model of self-control and primal reliability ten days ago when I downed seven tequila shots and two past-their-date-of-freshness ice cream Drumsticks. It happens.

My carb flu has fallen madly in love with me and wants to stick around. At least it's on the waning side, but sheesh!

[Gay Panda]

Children, gather ‘round for a short but scary story told only in numbers.

12-24-11 182.6
01-03-12 191.0

Gah! I haven’t seen that number in months! The damage I managed to wreak in ten days is nothing short of astonishing to me. And this wasn’t even total primal abandon. No wonder my jeans were uncomfortable by the end of my road trip. And now our scary story will be given redemption:

12-24-11 182.6
01-03-12 191.0
01-10-12 182.2

This is a new low for the Panda! A high fat ratio is gross but effective for dumping my water weight rapidly. With cutting back on cheese and avocados out of season I struggle to keep it high, but I still hit 60-65% and the water couldn’t peel out fast enough.

[anjelevil]

Nice one,wish I could have it fall off like that.A new low to boot!Go Panda!

[PixieKitten]

Way to go Panda! Woo Hoo! =D