Primal With A Side Of FABULOUS page 103

[Sigi]

Round Two of High Fat

Last Monday: 185.2
This Monday: 182.6

::: little happy dance in honour of Gay Panda:::

Can you share with us some of the meals you have been having on your Panda Ick of High Fat regime of late? It sounds rather encouraging (and tempting - I have no ick factor when considering high fat eating, just a disappointing lack of imagination).

[Gay Panda]

It's all very boring and monotonous meals, but I can do boring and monotonous for a long time if it gets results. I plan to do this all the way to the family Hanukkah party in a few days, and then the latkes will set me back BUT YOU CANNOT DENY LATKES.

I'll post one of my daily menus tonight since Lady Friend will soon be awaiting rescue from the airport. She is returning from a vacation full of carbs and her body is in absolute misery.

[Gay Panda]

All right, Sigi, here goes! I am back from the airport, in which the traffic on the freeway averaged a delightful 3 miles an hour and put Gay Panda in The Best Mood Ever.

Gay Panda rarely wakes up circling hungry faces on feelings charts, so my breakfast was three sausages, a string cheese, and heavy cream. Some people notice that dairy stalls them out, but I eliminated all dairy from my diet for part of July and noticed absolutely no difference in my rate of loss or health in general. I try not to go crazy with cheese (which I could happily do) but a little bothers me not at all.

By lunch I still hadn't gained much appetite (I cycle low-calorie days 1000-1200 with higher-calories days 1400-2200, not on purpose or for any reason, just trying to follow my hunger cues and that's how my body works). But I needed to eat before my Upcoming Airport Adventure, and that was one ounce of walnuts, one ounce of roast beef, half an avocado mixed with a whole tomato, and two pieces of Genoa salami. All of my food up to this point came in at 77% fat, 16% protein, and 7% carbohydrates. I'm also experimenting with cutting my protein back, because I tend to be sedentary and I am curious if I eat too much.

I was planning to have three ounces of sirloin covered in garlic butter sauce for dinner, but then some famous sports team decided to play a game and then everyone in the world decided that they HAD to go see it, and traffic backed up for many, many miles and doubled my driving time to the airport. Lady Friend was so famished by the time I arrived that her stomach drove the car to a restaurant, thus ending Gay Panda's attempt at a High Fat Day.

::: shakes fist at Lady Friend :::

So now I've had the inside of a dinner roll and an empanada and three forkfuls of mashed potatoes, in addition to a filet mignon, and two bites of a green bean before Lady Friend told me to stop torturing myself, and a Deeply Resented Salad. My body will blow up in retaliation to the size of Panada.

Oh well. I'll try again tomorrow.

[Sigi]

Oh look, your little troll-bots are back! They couldn't resist you for long, dear Panda.

Thank you for sharing your daily menu. I too can do boring and fairly monotonous – as long as I actually enjoy what I am eating. What you had today sounds rather yum (except perhaps for this mysterious 'empanada' item, which I shall shortly Google to learn more about). I'm interested in higher-fat eating because I think it may help my satiation, and perhaps stop the evening nibblies from which I have been suffering horribly of late.

BTW - the only thing I deeply resent about salads is the fact that I have to make them myself, as for some unaccountable reason I still do not possess my own personal chef. Do you make yourself eat your DRS because you feel you "should", or you are pressed into having it?

[Gay Panda]

Dear w55rQMat and futsayerty9761a,

When I was a teenager reading Gone With the Wind, I fantasized about one day being in a circle of admiring beaux just like Scarlett O’Hara. This was laughable for many reasons, most prevalently my social incompetence and lack of gorgeousness, but I still cherished the idea of hopeful lovers running after my barbecue, offering desserts and umbrellas for shade, and hanging off my every word. Of course I would be dressed fabulously, and every eye would be upon me, and maybe there would be a duel to win my hand. Scarlett O’Panda would flutter and beg to not be fought over, but inside, Scarlett O’Panda would be thrilled to inspire such passion.

But this is not how real life works for most of us, and Gay Panda was no different. Until now! My darlings, please put down the Nerf muskets! Only one of you can have me, that’s true, but let’s not turn my journal into a battle for Gay Panda. I know that I can be hard to resist, sitting here in my Lipstick Jammie Pants that are riding up and displaying my ankles, and my hair looks quite windswept*, and I have a devilish way with the printed word to make up some for my disastrous handle on the spoken. If I had a clone, I’d duel for me**. So I understand. But you mustn’t do this here! People visit Primal With A Side Of FABULOUS to listen to me kvetch about food and weight and how I am the size of Panada after a restaurant yesterday, not to watch trolls war over me.

Yet I am very flattered, and if you would like to relocate your duel to my front yard tomorrow at dawn, I will stand on the porch and flutter a kerchief above the field of honor, and look very distressed for your welfare. I will tell you to stand back-to-back and then I will count your paces as you grip your Nerf muskets, ready to meet Valhalla over Gay Panda, and then the gravity of this situation will grate upon me, and I will cancel your duel and make everybody bacon.

Then we will solve the matter with astrology, or a Myers-Briggs test, or flip a coin. And when my married friends tell their boring stories about how they met in college, or on the Internet, I will brag that I was won by my true love in a duel. It will not be entirely the truth, but no one has to know.

Love,
Gay Panda

[Gay Panda]

UPDATE: (in explanation of * and **)

* Windswept sounds so much more attractive than uncombed.

** No, I wouldn't. I just love how conceited that sounds. If I were dating myself, which one of us would push the cart at Whole Foods?

[Gay Panda]

Oh look, your little troll-bots are back! They couldn't resist you for long, dear Panda.

Thank you for sharing your daily menu. I too can do boring and fairly monotonous – as long as I actually enjoy what I am eating. What you had today sounds rather yum (except perhaps for this mysterious 'empanada' item, which I shall shortly Google to learn more about). I'm interested in higher-fat eating because I think it may help my satiation, and perhaps stop the evening nibblies from which I have been suffering horribly of late.

BTW - the only thing I deeply resent about salads is the fact that I have to make them myself, as for some unaccountable reason I still do not possess my own personal chef. Do you make yourself eat your DRS because you feel you "should", or you are pressed into having it?

I love my troll-bots. And yet I press the Death Triangle on them. So it's complicated.

My empanada had chorizo and potato and sour cream for filling and a Delicious Mystery Sauce. It was heavenly.

I don't often get the evening nibbles but Lady Friend does, so she is going to bump up her fat intake as well and see if that helps. As to salads, I resent making them, too. I resent eating them, unless they are so drenched in other, more interesting substances that I hardly notice the greenery. I loathe vegetables and I only eat them because I feel like I "should". So I end up not having them very often. Fruit is delicious but too much gives me cravings, so I parcel that out to every other day.

Go away, Sigi's evening nibblies!

[Griffin]

** No, I wouldn't. I just love how conceited that sounds. If I were dating myself, which one of us would push the cart at Whole Foods?

Obviously you'll have to invest and clone Lady Friend too!

Griffin is nothing if not a problem solver.

[ottercat]

Yet I am very flattered, and if you would like to relocate your duel to my front yard tomorrow at dawn, I will stand on the porch and flutter a kerchief above the field of honor, and look very distressed for your welfare.

... or blast "Mortal Kombat" and shout "Go! Go! Go!" while jumping up and down. I am a devoted reader, no?

[Gay Panda]

... or blast "Mortal Kombat" and shout "Go! Go! Go!" while jumping up and down. I am a devoted reader, no?

Yes, you are! I am very impressed.