Primal Journal: Daily Successes
So I've been lurking around, asking questions all the while sounding paranoid about my weight and what I'm putting in my mouth I'm sure. So maybe a journal would be a good place to track my mania?
I started this back just around Thanksgiving. Up until then I'd been playing with the Zone, but b/c I like to cook I found Zone really difficult to figure out. I dabbled in it for about a month but was never terribly strict.
I lost my job & had to leave my apartment to move back in w/ my family (hurray :S) But I'm thankful I at least had that option. Anyway, it's HARD as hell to do the Zone when you're living with 3 other people that do NOT adhere to it. All the measuring & deconstructing was a huge pain for me.
Then I found MDA & PB. And I signed up for a fitness challenge in January. Looking over the rules for the challenge I noticed that I was at the low end of the women's middle weight division, NOT where I wantd to be at all! The weights THEY were going to lift were a little TOO heavy for me! Quick, gotta lose a few pounds! I have to get below 131 day-of to be in the lower weight class!
So thanksgiving stats: 5'6", 29yo, female, 137lbs.
I started following PB and with the wonderful help of folks on this forum & Marks book, I got down to 131 just before christmas. I did have a couple weeks of feeling generally weak, like I had crap for endurance but eventually that passed, whew!
I was doing CrossFit 3 times a week, maybe 4 and biking upwards of 20 miles on other days prePB. Now I'm doing CF typically 3 times a week, sometimes sandwiching a couple days (2 workouts on one day) to try to train for this challenge. But my off days are easy days, like going for an easy happy 3 mile walk or so...or napping. Whatever I feel like that's not strenuous.
Then Christmas came and my weight popped up to 133, then 134, then 134.8 and sat there for about 5 days as I was panicking
Then I decided to take my measurements to see if that would give me any insight. Even at this greater weight I had lost a whole inch off my waist but had added 1/2" to each thigh and a 1/4" to each bicep. lol, unfortunately I also lost 1/2" off my bust...booooo.
Then I went to the gym yesterday and tried to find my Single-rep max Back Squat. I had done 155lb max about 2 weeks previous (during the weak weeks of eating primally)and the girl that I usually partner up with at the bar and I were loookin to get 160. So yesterday I just kept moving up the ladder until I passed her at 160 and hit a max back squat of 175lb!! HELL YEAH!!
The other benefit I've noticed is that I haven't been sore since startin PB. I mentioned this in another thread on this forum. I've been a little stiff at times, but never SORE.
Then someone refreshed an old thread by PrimalChild and it brought it to my attention. The thread made me realize that I was seeming VERY driven by the numbers on the scale. Yes, I was and I thought, "Yes, but i have a DEADLINE!" and then it hit me...
My body is morhphing in a fantastic way! I've been feeding it correctly and resting appropriately and its going through a change the summation of which cannot be displayed on the scale's screen. There are phases, or stages, some of which I may not recognize until AFTER they've passed. Hindsight is always 20/20 right? So I have to just keep moving. Comp day is NOT the culmination of my life, nor of my PB journey. It is merely a stepping stone. So if I end up being 131 on competition day and I come in last b/c I'm the lightest woman on the totem pole then so be it. I'll just make last place look DAMN good
I just need to relax a little and let it all just happen. So I looked at the scale this morning and finally saw 133.6, aaaaaaaaahh!
Okay, the holidays are over. I have to admit, I fell off the bandwagon a little. I went to my sister's house for New Year's and I was having a REALLY bad day and I ended crying the whole way to her house for no particular reason really. When I got there I found she had just put a whole pan of stuffed shells into the oven. So I ate a couple, and ate a bunch of filing out of the others. She also had a nice fresh baguette out...so I ate some. But I felt free to LOAD it with TONS of butter. For the first time ever I felt like I liked the butter better.
Then for breakfast she made pancakes. I have never liked pancakes, but she used the last of the eggs for them...so I ate 2 pancakes. Again I LOADED them with butter and just about a teaspoon of real maple syrup.
I made myself NOT feel bad about it. I knew that feeling bad about it would just make it worse and it wouldn't help in any way, so it wouldn' be worth it at all.
Then I went and jumped in Long Island Sound with the Polar Bear club. That alone may have worked the carbs off!
These next few weeks I"m workin on getting mentally accustomed to fasting. It scares me; of what exactly? Of feeling light headed during work (i need to be 'on' all day!), of losing energy and missing a good workout, etc etc
Last time I tried a fast it was supposed to be a 2 day alkalizing fast. I got SO so sick in the first day that my boss actually thought I had the flu & sent me home. I got ashen, the chills, hot flashes, nausea, headaches, visual auras akin to those for migraines...it was AWFUL. I dont want that to happen again!
From talking to everyone here it doesn't seem like that would/should happen. But still, the fear of that happening again...ugh! So I'm practicing in little increments. Two days a week (my long days) I eat breakfast at 6am, then eat a snack sometimes at around 11 (hardboiled egg or 2 max!) and then I workout (sometimes I eat the egg after at like 2pm) and then I dont eat a real meal until about 7 or 8pm.
Hmm, how to progress from here?
I read also on here that magnesium is a good thing. After my crying bit last week, I thought it might be a good thing to add to my day. So I bought a magnesium supplement yesterday (Naturally Calm) and drank it last night when I got home from work, aruond 10pm. I usually am awake until around 11 or 1130 after work, but after drinking this stuff I was hit by the sleep monkey and I got super relaxed and I went to bed early.
I think I might need to keep experimenting with my foods. Or maybe I'll just change it up every day. There have been some days I think I may have undereaten..until I get home, eat an average sized dinner and then start craving desert. BAD!
good news though: usually my mother doesn't pry into what I do or how I eat. The other day she asked me why I'd be using coconut oil b/c it's so high in saturated fat.
Then today she said, "guess what? I've lost 5lbs in the last 8 days!" That's so great!!
She said she started taking her cue from me, she hasn't been eating grains or pasta or rice or potatoes. And she's been taking her omega3 3x a day. I'm so excited for her!
So that's really the reaon for my writing today, was to boast about my mom
My weight lately has been ALL over the map, up down up down up down, up up up, down down, up up up up etc.
Crazy! Im not sure what to be doing about it, but I figure i'll figure it out. And continuing to eat correctly can only help. but my competition is this weekend and I was hoping to be under 130. Today I was 134...again. I cant seem to break 133 since it crawled back up there from the initial plummet to 131 back when I started.
Dear Paleo Gods, please help me get into my weight class for this weekend! Thank you!