Thanx for stopping by, guys. I'll reply to everything next post, I just want to get my numbers and current conditions down for the day. I'm running out of 'day' here, it's already 6pm!
Data for yesterday:
1510kcal (this is still a little low)
11:30pm-5:00am sleep. Probably not much over 5hrs when you get down to it. (Not great.)
93g carb/90g protein. (the protein continues to be a bit low, possibly. I don't count non-dense veggie protein though)
28%/29%/43% protein/carb/fat I seem to tend towards a 30-30-40, of some variety. I know Zone is 40% carbs/30% fat. so not exactly the same.
I feel okay, my energy is a bit better. I'm walking around, doing light exercise (climbing, picking, stretching into all kinds of positions to try to get berries deep or high in the bush without getting snared on the thorns (yeah, I'm still cut up anyway. This is NOT free food, lol). The berry expeditions in the morning, which now shake out to about 3hrs, since I kind of bliss out doing it, are a transition from no exercise to light exercise so I can get back to real exercise.
Which will require fruit. I know me & my body. And it does.not.change. That's axiom #2.
What remains to be seen is whether I can stay at 100g carb. Tom Venuto goes up to like, 200g per day. But I like Mark's curve. Basic Zone is, or was, given that I last saw the literature around 2003, about 120g carb. I feel most comfortable going up to 120g, but not higher.
80-120g seems like the ideal zone for me. I haven't weighed in for a while, due to the sheer inconvenience of walking down to the cottage and the scale, pre-shower, pre-coffee, and in my underwear. Not that there's anyone on our property that could SEE me in my underwear. But eh, I don't feel like it.
This is probably why the ED clinic isn't (or doesn't seem) too worried about my continued utility for the scale and the calories. Fortunately my ED was never really about weighing (or weight, really... oddly.. .but true). Or calories. I never counted calories or weighed in at all while actively bulimerexic there. I don't really feel compelled or bullied by the disorder to do it, really. Hell, if it isn't really convenient for me to do a morning weigh-in, I don't bother. Rather have my coffee, frankly. Also, there's this teenage kid who lives close by (and is often out in the morning playing with his machete(!), and the other day when I ran out (in my underwear, half asleep) to scream at THE DEER, he was kinda hanging around and staring.
Which is no biggie, given that you can go to Wreck Beach in Van any day of the week and see half the world hanging out naked, but I kind want to say to him... 'dude, you're what? Fourteen? I'm 31, okay? I'M TOO OLD FOR YOU. I mean, fuck, I've got stretch marks on my boobs from the whole 180lbs to 110lbs to 150lbs to 120lbs (where I remain) thing.' Doesn't he have some porn he can look at on his computer or something? Wish he'd throw the machete at the DEER, for fuckssake.
Right, but I'm getting off topic. (ADD, lol).
So I've gotta do this carb up thing... soon. I've got to stop lazing around (getting my type a back, getting back to, you know, WORK)... but I... kinda... still don't waaanna... just yeeeeeet. Soon. Not yet! I may actually have to haul ass to the condo to Vic to get me back in touch with all that caffeinated type a vibe. I've worked my own hours (artist and all) for ages, but I always used to troll the coffee shops at 6am, just to be in the same space as all the motivated professional people, all coffee-d up and plugged into their blackberries. The energy vibe would get me going, even before the caffeine hit.
I miss the city. Sorry Grok, I can't do this small town thing. Amazingly, this island doesn't seem to find me interesting enough to gossip about. (WTF, people. Have people suddenly quantum leaped in enlightened attitudes towards EDs or something?) But still, I want the anonymity of a city. Having everyone know you and your business isn't that hot.
I will NOT miss the guys here (not all of them, fortunately) who are obviously bad news and obviously only interested in me when I'm too-skinny and obviously using something (though they don't seem to know what exactly) and on some reptilian level of their brain, kind of sense that they can get into a really unhealthy relationship with me.
I can't remember who said it, but... seriously. 'Bone is for the dog, meat is for the man, gentlemen.'
It is SO creepy when skeezy guys hit on you BECAUSE you're sick.
But anyway, I've got to do something soon. Psychologist tomorrow. I might make an appointment with the nurse practitioner for the speed, I don't know.
Lot of time outside in the sun today. Was nice.
I've fallen into this pattern of...
5am get up, coffee, out walking and picking and climbing for about 3hrs.
I don't get around to 'breakfast' until 11am.
I don't get around to 'lunch' until 4pm.
Then I want to get dinner done because I hate eating late at night, so I try to get it in at 8pm at the latest.
So, IF-city. Though I feel good on this. It definitely feels very paleo hunter/gatherer to me. I'll eat when I get back home, and if I'm out, and I don't feel like going home yet.... it just seems like Grokette wouldn't bother with food and wouldn't worry about it. There's lots of food, after all.
So, day 42 today.
Last edited by CandylandCanary; 08-30-2011 at 06:33 PM.
Getting my Grok on in the Pacific Northwest.
"C is for cookie, that's good enough for me."
"Cookie is a sometimes food."
"Sometimes cookie monster eat APPLE instead of COOKIE. Sometimes eat CARROT."
-Cookie Monster, partially reformed sugarholic