Primal Journal-deMuralist page 88

[demuralist]

Wt 256.6 Rats, up .8, not a big deal but today is technically my weigh in day and I was hoping I would be below the December 1 weight of 255.4.

It is not from food, cause I have been doing very well with this. So I will take the muscle holding water theory, cause I really worked hard yesterday from 1:30 to 5:30 setting up 2 spaces for the church service. They did a baptism and they HAD to do an immersion (these sorts of rules are the kinds of things that make me crazy when it comes to religion). So they started the service downstairs then moved the entire crew and congregation upstairs to finish. But the upstairs had been hit with lightening on Friday night and had no lights (but luckily had electric), so we had to bring in enough lamps and candles to be able to see. Lots and lots of carrying things up and down stairs-the elevator is very slow. It turned out beautiful (well the space looked great I didn't stay for the service).

[RMS123]

If I take too much, I have problems. 1 tsp of the liquid/day, and I did okay. DH is more sensitive - he had to ease into it - 1/2 tsp/day, then gradually increase.

I didn't have good access for a long time either. And, sometimes we are budget cutting and I can't get it then either. Wish it were easier!!!

[Pebbles67]

I did take a liquid from my chiro, but at $50/month it is just not cost effective. I now buy a gel capsule from Amazon for $20/60. Be aware that the only thing that really counts for omega 3 is DHA and EPA. They can claim 1000mg (full wt of liquid or gel in gelcap for example), but if there is only 500 DHA and 200 EPA then it is really only 700mg Omega 3.

[demuralist]

so then I am getting 1,100 mg. the brand I got was recommended by the PN video, I figured I would go off of their research instead of wasting the time to do more. It was $48 for 100tsp (a little over 3 months worth), so not such a bad price, I balked when I saw it, but decided if I was gonna do it I had to do it right.

[demuralist]

Fair warning, this will be a sappy whiney rant. I just need to get it off my chest so I can let go and move on.

I am feeling sorry for myself this morning. Crying instead of eating, that is a good thing.

I did not talk to dh this weekend. Excuses excuses excuses are many as to why, but in the end i don't want to have to have such an unpleasant conversation and I guess I am scared. As long as the sex issue is unresolved there is hope, I am scared that there is no will or desire on his part to correct it and I don't want to have to face that square in that face. It is stupid,but there it is, I know I have to have the conversation sooner or later and it will only get harder with time. I get another 'golden' opportunity this weekend as DS will be away again.

DD did not call on Friday. She is upset with me because we won't ok her moving into an apartment (for a very long list of reasons which she of course thinks are all unreasonable). Her father was supposed to tell her this over Christmas break - face to face - but didn't, so when she started talking about it during last week's conversation I had to tell her. She cried-no conversation-for 5 minutes, then said she had to take a shower and hung up. She has gone through a series of situations in which she has expected us to pay for something and been mad (obviously) when she found out we wouldn't. For her Senior Address, she thanked my parents (who were present) for the wonderful example they set for her and her cousins, but she was the only senior not to mention her parents. I have no doubt that I caused the same sort of heartbreaks to my parents which actually makes this situation worse, because my parents are so fantastic.

Anyway, I am thinking of texting her to say I missed the weekly chat, but don't want to seem needy. Just feeling a bit low.

[Mud Flinger]

I am so feeling for you right now. Kids can expect the world and take it for granted. The fact that she gets to go to school, when so many can not these days and that she has her needs met when many go homeless are not enough. And then it becomes your fault. I know the feelings oh so well.

Remember, you are making her stronger and even paying into her long term happiness when you let her do without or do it on her own. Kids that are given everything do not learn about how strong they can be or that it is OK to do without. I have to remind myself of these things daily because it is no fun to live through, but these feelings are part of our own journey to live and grow through.

[Pebbles67]

I would let her stew. She is trying to punish you. Texting her will feed right into that.

I'm sorry that your conversation did not happen, but I totally understand why. I need to have a conversation with my husband about finances and his working full time instead of per diem. I am putting that one off too.

PS 1100 MG in one teaspoon rocks! That is better than my $50 one for half the doses. Brand Name?

[demuralist]

Thanks guys. I do so appreciate your support. And I will take your advice Paula and not text her.

I figured since I was feeling crappy any way, I would go ahead and do some sewing, just one more panel to sew together then I can start hemming. But first, right after I wrote that post I went out on the porch and did some reading with a cup of coffee, and will probably eat lunch out there if it stays nice.

The brand of Omega 3 is Carlson...Amazon.com: Carlson The Very Finest Fish Oil Liquid Omega-3 Lemon, 500ml: Health & Personal Care and this is an excellent price as well, since I paid the $48.50 for it!

[athomeontherange]

Chris.. sorry this has been a rough Monday. I agree with Paula, time and space will work better in the end. I am not where you are as my dd is only 9 but even then space is a wonderful thing. Chin up chickie!! It will work out.

Again.. this single gal has no advice on the hubs but I got your back

You are sewing the curtains??

[demuralist]

Thanks Karin!

Yep, I got all the panels sewn together and now have to sew the top pocket and the hem. Will work on them again tomorrow. I am trying to get the rec room cleaned up as DH wants to turn it into a sort of adult game room. So the easiest way to get started on the clean up is to get those curtains hung in the livingroom!

I also spent some time in the basement starting the clean up down there. We have a huge basement that is water tight and stays pretty much the same temp all year because it is dug into a hill, so having space tends to keep me from having to decide if I should keep something or not, I have the space so I keep it. Now we have been here 7 years and I am out of space, and have not touched at least 80% of it since I tucked it onto a shelf down there. I need to clear out my "studio" space so I can start painting again, Then all of my baking stuff is going to go onto one set of shelves, and all my knitting/crafting stuff will go on another set. I will give DH a set for his fish tank stuff and beer brewing stuff. Then clean up the area we used as the kids play area (mostly vacuum and throw away old markers-that space has a "graffiti" wall where their friends sign their names).

Once I get all of that cleared out, I can finish clearing out my laundry/pantry room and get a laundry sorter for there.

In between all of this I still want to finish the landscape, and paint some of the rooms as well as do something to the kitchen backsplash.