258.8 down 1 from yesterday and 3.4 for the week, hoping to hit 257.something by Monday and that will put me back to pre-Christmas weights.
So, I am not really binging, but I am allowing myself to go slightly astray. I am thinking I am in work avoidance mode. And of course yesterday the whole thing with my daughter upset me a lot. Not because I feel bad that I can't/won't give her what she is asking for. But that she continues to ask for things (repeatedly) that she knows I can't/won't give her and then gets mad at me for not giving in (which I really have never done, so not sure why she thinks things would be different now).
Anyway, luckily, usually, she and I get over these little things pretty quickly.
The big thing for me, is the need for food to solve my problems. Those situations like this one with my daughter, and the fact that I am not happy with my marriage in general, stymie me. I am not unhappy with my marriage most of the time, I just know we have the potential to have a much healthier happier relationship for both of us. I also know that trying to talk to him about it would be futile, been there done that, only makes matters worse. So I am at a loss as to how to proceed. I am sad and frustrated and can't fix it.
I did attend a marriage seminar last year, and thought that the suggestions would work. But I can't remember a single one and can't find my notes. I had started implementing some of the suggestions at the time, and then slipped out of the habit and now can't remember them for the life of me. Gotta find those notes.
The interesting thing is, why the heck would any part of me think that eating any food could possibly change the situation? Where does that idea come from? Really, eating too much causes me to gain/hold onto excess weight, which messes with my self confidence, which makes it less likely that I will be able to handle these kinds of situations.
But I do honestly believe that the body is trying to do the best it can for us to survive and thrive even when we don't think so. So the question is what is my body trying to do when I eat in excess of my need? Does the stress itself cause a release in hormones that want food? I think that is true to an extent, but why?
I need to find another way to release those hormones/stress that doesn't involve food intake. Wish it could be vacuuming like a crazy woman (that was my grandmother's solution!)