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Thread: Primal Journal-deMuralist page 63

  1. #621
    demuralist's Avatar
    demuralist is offline Senior Member
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    Karin, my daughter is a lot like me, we are all peaks and valleys, either really happy or really sad. But neither of us has a long memory for the bad stuff in general and so we tend to let things slide pretty quickly and get back to being friends.

    Her BF was irritated that I called him on not cleaning up after himself when he made a late night pizza. (he said "I made a pizza last night" and I said "I know" and he said "how" and I said "because the dirty cookie sheet and pizza cutter were left out on the counter") So for the rest of the week to spite me he did the dinner dishes, with a scowl-ooo hurt me so bad (hee hee). He has always thought that I don't like him for some reason. Which is not quite true. I think he is nice enough, and a great first boyfriend for DD, but I don't see it long term.
    Last edited by demuralist; 01-04-2012 at 03:28 PM. Reason: to clarify
    Chris
    "Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass. It is about learning to dance in the rain."
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    My journal: http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum/thread36279.html

    My "Program": doing my version of a 5:2 -2 day fast diet with real food every day

  2. #622
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    so work today was a long meeting and it was decided to have lunch brought in. Pizza. My boss did order me a big salad though. It had a couple of strips of chicken on it. It was kind of sad, bottled ranch dressing and all. But the garlic breadstick was beautiful, all buttery and warm. I ate it.

    What I learned....carbs make me want more carbs. Suddenly the pizza smelled really good (I do not care for non-homemade pizza, my dad's family is Italian). I didn't eat any, but when I finally got home I was looking for carbs. Unfortunately DD was making muffins, so I had a tablespoon of raw dough. Then stopped myself and ate some leftover pork from last night (coconut, yum!). So I have now had all my calories, fat, and protein for the day, and I am over on the carbs but under on the fiber. And I feel crummy.

    Tomorrow is another day. But tonight, I am chugging ACV, and tea.

    I had to admit to Matt that I had gained 4.6 pounds in a week. I would really like to get back to where I was when I left and then get on with it.

    I need to get back to the mentality I had when I was a vegetarian, but as a meat eater. This is the way I eat, it is not a Diet, it is my diet. It is the way I live, a new paradigm. I don't "cheat" because this is not a Diet. That is all there is to it. This is about taking care of myself, keeping myself healthy, and hopefully I will lose weight in the process.

    so here is the other thing I am struggling with. I HATE doing lifting, I just cannot force myself to remember to do the EM. I am hoping that as I get back into the swing of waking up at 5:30 and don't feel so tired that maybe I will force myself to do it long enough to make it a habit. I am making excuses I know. I just despise it so much. I have good intentions in the morning. Well...maybe I do them first thing tomorrow, before I feel tired. I will try that. So tomorrow morning, EM
    Chris
    "Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass. It is about learning to dance in the rain."
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    My journal: http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum/thread36279.html

    My "Program": doing my version of a 5:2 -2 day fast diet with real food every day

  3. #623
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    Pebbles67 is offline Senior Member
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    Chris, is there any way you could take a group exercise class? I love the group dynamic. It is motivating.

  4. #624
    demuralist's Avatar
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    I am looking, that is by far my favorite way to exercise. I had joined the local Y, but the classes were not at times that were convenient/possible for me. Trying to figure out a way to get some swing dance classes started. Most independent teachers (ie. jazzercise) are crazy expensive. I'll keep looking.
    Chris
    "Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass. It is about learning to dance in the rain."
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    My journal: http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum/thread36279.html

    My "Program": doing my version of a 5:2 -2 day fast diet with real food every day

  5. #625
    demuralist's Avatar
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    263.4 +2.6

    I deserve that, I was a grazing machine yesterday. And at least half non-primal. Felt like crap and it just kept getting worse. Sleep quantity was good, but quality was horrible, feeling really crappy this morning. Tired, achy, and a bit of intestinal distress. Oh how I hate this feeling. Why oh why do I do this to myself?

    Today I will concentrate on eating clean, concentrating on quality instead of quantity. If I feel the urge to overeat because I am tired I will at least make sure it is high quality.

    ok enough berating. When my Daughter was young, she broke something (can't remember what) of mine, and I started to get on her case about it and she said "Mom, I already feel bad enough, you don't have to say anything". So that is what I now say to myself. "I already feel bad enough, so enough said" Can't change what I have already done, just learn from it. And what I have learned is that being hungry does not feel nearly as bad as this does, so I am better off not eating at all than eating things off plan.

    So my food plan...protein and veggies, lots of fluids, lots and lots of fluids. Simplicity at its finest.

    NO...
    ....flour
    ....sugar
    ....grains
    ....most dairy (allowed-butter and some heavy cream)
    ....sweeteners except stevia
    Chris
    "Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass. It is about learning to dance in the rain."
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    My journal: http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum/thread36279.html

    My "Program": doing my version of a 5:2 -2 day fast diet with real food every day

  6. #626
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    Pebbles67 is offline Senior Member
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    Great Plan! You can do it. I think that you have just had too many uncontrolled food situations lately. I love that you are refusing to berate yourself. I need to work on that.

    BTW, Matt emailed me yesterday asking if I needed anything from him. I think my reply will be "A good kick in the a$$, please."
    Last edited by Pebbles67; 01-05-2012 at 06:26 AM.

  7. #627
    demuralist's Avatar
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    Thanks. I do just really need to shift gears. Berating just takes attention away from the possibility of learning from the experience.

    You are funny! You want to stop berating yourself but still ask for a kick in the a$$! I think you are doing very well since you got back!
    Chris
    "Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass. It is about learning to dance in the rain."
    Unknown

    My journal: http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum/thread36279.html

    My "Program": doing my version of a 5:2 -2 day fast diet with real food every day

  8. #628
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    Good Point. Now you see why I have to work on it. lol

  9. #629
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    athomeontherange is online now Senior Member
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    Good plan.. I eat when tired too! Still getting in your acv?? I am minus stevia (ooo how I long for my stevia)

    Do not feel alone in the whole workout EM thing.. I space it every day. :X For today though, I am blaming it on TOM, oh wait.. today is not over yet. LOL
    Karin


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    What am I doing? Depends on the day.

  10. #630
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    Would the kicking be considered aerobic?
    Redflame
    Started PB Aug 9, 2010 then let 'stuff' get in the way
    Back to start and make a fantastic 2012
    Goal of Significant Weight Loss
    15 pounds down! with more to go!

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