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Thread: Primal Journal-deMuralist page 360

  1. #3591
    demuralist's Avatar
    demuralist is online now Senior Member
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    I gave up on the "clean your room" when they were very young! Letting go of the take a bath and brush your teeth happened when they started to notice the opposite sex - so that was a trade off of concerns But this is definitely the pay off for all those worrisome years!

    When I gave DD her last hug before she walked off to her dorm at the freshman drop off, my advice was to not put a name in the tattoo (I felt pretty sure she was going to get one and she did). I am trying to decide what I will say to DS, and am leaning toward "always use a condom" and hiding a pack in his stuff.

  2. #3592
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    Congratulations, Mom! and Dad of course.

  3. #3593
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    Quote Originally Posted by demuralist View Post
    I am trying to decide what I will say to DS, and am leaning toward "always use a condom" and hiding a pack in his stuff.
    This. Definitely this.
    somehow I manage to leave my intelligence and decorum at the door wherever I go. I doubt your journal will be an exception to that - not on the rug

    What the F&#* is a decorum? - Mr. Anthony

  4. #3594
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    I would not mind so much if her room did not eat laundry, towels and such. Don't ask why she has so many towels in her room when she does not bath daily.. I do not know.
    Karin


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  5. #3595
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    Quote Originally Posted by athomeontherange View Post
    I would not mind so much if her room did not eat laundry, towels and such. Don't ask why she has so many towels in her room when she does not bath daily.. I do not know.
    I got to point where I would just close the bedroom door. When It got to the point that it might become a health hazard I gave this warning--

    You have until x time to clean your room, including dusting and vacuuming. If you choose not to clean by the deadline I will enter your room and clean it. If I have to do your job I will give your things the same respect you have given me and my home.

    It took a few times but having garbage bags full of belongings disappear (they had to earn them back) taught them it was easier to do the job themselves.

    One of my daughters (22) recently told me that while she, as a kid. didn't understand why I wanted a clean house, she know gets it. She said,"When your home is clean you feel better--more calm/relaxed."

  6. #3596
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    Quote Originally Posted by canio6 View Post
    This. Definitely this.
    Thanks! I seriously fear a pregnancy derailing his life. He is not dating anyone now, but well it only takes one time. So even if she says she is on the pill, I want him using them. Gotta take personal responsibility.

    My DD said that I also told her "If the cops show up, drop the beer bottle, find the closest window, and get the hell out of Dodge" I will probably add that to his advice as well.

  7. #3597
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    Quote Originally Posted by marcadav View Post
    I got to point where I would just close the bedroom door. When It got to the point that it might become a health hazard I gave this warning--

    You have until x time to clean your room, including dusting and vacuuming. If you choose not to clean by the deadline I will enter your room and clean it. If I have to do your job I will give your things the same respect you have given me and my home.

    It took a few times but having garbage bags full of belongings disappear (they had to earn them back) taught them it was easier to do the job themselves.

    One of my daughters (22) recently told me that while she, as a kid. didn't understand why I wanted a clean house, she know gets it. She said,"When your home is clean you feel better--more calm/relaxed."

    The only time I institute the "clean room rule" is when we have company coming. Then what I do is charge them for housekeeping. I check with friends as to the current rate for housekeeping (I don't pay one) and I add about a 10% surcharge for my personal experience ($50 and hour pops into my head, but I can't really remember for sure). I do of course make the decisions on what gets kept and what gets tossed as well.

    When they had a play room, if the toys were not picked up by the time they went to bed, then I put them into bags that had to be earned back. After a certain period of time, I seem to remember it was a month, I donated to Goodwill and took the tax deduction. It worked pretty quickly, maybe once for each of the techniques.

  8. #3598
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    Quote Originally Posted by marcadav View Post
    I got to point where I would just close the bedroom door. When It got to the point that it might become a health hazard I gave this warning--

    You have until x time to clean your room, including dusting and vacuuming. If you choose not to clean by the deadline I will enter your room and clean it. If I have to do your job I will give your things the same respect you have given me and my home.

    It took a few times but having garbage bags full of belongings disappear (they had to earn them back) taught them it was easier to do the job themselves.

    One of my daughters (22) recently told me that while she, as a kid. didn't understand why I wanted a clean house, she know gets it. She said,"When your home is clean you feel better--more calm/relaxed."
    I have done this MANY times only I come out with black trash bags full of TRASH or what I consider trash. She has yet to get the hint.
    Karin


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  9. #3599
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    I didn't just take "trash". If a game controller is laying around it goes in a "keeper" bag. If the TV remote is there it goes. My son left his wallet on the floor. I took that and he had to find a ride to school because his driver's license was in it so he couldn't drive.

    I took things I knew they would want or need.

  10. #3600
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    So sleep has been crap for the past couple of weeks or so. Yesterday I got the idea to finally look up how to adjust my oral device to see if that would help. So I sat with the device, a jewelers fob, a teeny allen wrench, and a you tube video and made the adjustments. And this morning, well the fitbit tells me it was worth the irritation! I actually slept for 7:42 with only 2 very brief wake ups.

    Today is DS's last IB assessment. It is French. He had a really hard time with this because he ahd to wake up early to take it and there is literally no value in the outcome to him at all. Well except maybe pride. He doesn't need it for his diploma, doesn't need it for his IB diploma, he doesn't need it for college, the main value is for his teacher really and that is why he decided to bother at all. She is a wonderful person and he wanted to make sure she got the credit she deserved for making French bearable.

    Today is my day to run and do errands. First the lawn before it gets too hot. Gotta mow. Then pull up some bushes and trim others so I can have the HVAC guy do a check up on my AC. Then gotta do a Costco run. Then I need to list and bag up DS's and DD's old clothes for donation. Then I need to clear my dining room table of all the clutter that has collected on it (mostly DS's high school things-so what to keep, what to donate, what to pitch) and the breakfast nook table of (mostly) DD's clutter.

    That ought to keep me busy for a while!

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