Primal Journal-deMuralist page 186

[demuralist]

It is very unlikely that my father-in-law will recover. He is in his late 80's, has had 3 open heart surgeries, and has dementia. His quality of life is very sad. The worst part about it is that he begged my husband years ago, when he was still very well, not to let his wife and other son keep him alive indefinitely with heroic means. His wife passed about 6 years ago, but then the other son is the one who has the power to make the decisions, and the son's wife doesn't believe in filling that type of wish. The 3rd open heart was done after he was in the nursing home, and beyond able to make the decision on his own. It has been heart breaking to watch.

DH has freaked me out a couple of times in the past with his take on how bad a situation at work is, but then it always resolves itself, usually pretty quickly. But this one is different. We went to our outdoor concert last night, and the couple who went with us the woman was at the "scene of the crime" so to speak, so she is privy to all the details and their nuances. And she was very down as well. She told DH how very sorry she was and asked if he was ok, and he said no. This morning he said he was not interested in the news could I just take him to work (his car is still in the shop). He is NEVER not interested in the news on Sunday mornings-it is one of the things he looks forward to all week, his Sunday morning news shows. He watches one from each of the networks to hear all the opinions on the weeks events. He has done this for as long as I have known him. It breaks my heart, because I know there is nothing I can do to help.

[RMS123]

Wow. Sounds like rough times at your house. Sorry to hear that!

[demuralist]

Dh just told me that he is going to have to go "back home" either $1,000 plane trip or a 2 day (one way) car trip or he takes his plane as far as he can go (just had an engine overhaul and cannot go above a certain altitude, thus no mountains) and rent a car. Then casually mentioned he is working on a letter of resignation (eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeek). trying to remain calm, and slowly warn the kids about events without freaking them out so they will be prepared for possible eventualities.

[athomeontherange]

Oh Chris.. Praying for your family right now. So sorry to hear about your father in law. That alone is heartbreaking. I hope the hubs job works out. Perhaps he just needs to write it and think about all it entails as a way to sort through the changes at work.

[demuralist]

My father-in-law's situation has been heartbreaking for a few years now. It is a huge stresser for DH, it is not the way any of us want to spend our last years and it is difficult to see such a vibrant, intelligent human being turn into essentially a vegetable. He cannot see, he cannot hear, he doesn't know who his children are. He just sits day after day. So very very very sad.

I pray that my husband holds the letter until he gets back. Which is very likely. He is not likely to do anything so rash without he and I having a long discussion. He does not do things rashly (that is my role in our relationship).

[Pebbles67]

I'm so sorry about the tough time you and your husband are going through now.

[demuralist]

thank you all for your kind words and support, means a lot.

[demuralist]

Well the good news, we skyped with DD last night and she was so very happy and bubbly. She loves her new apartment, she is volunteering as a Welcome Leader, she is looking forward to her classes, and she got free food. She walked us around her apartment so we could see what she had done to decorate it.

Other good news, Dh finally convinced his brother to call Hospice (those people are angels without wings I tell ya), and they are now helping to manage his father's care, putting comfort and dignity above all else. So that reduces that stress.

Other good news, Last night I had a stretch of sleep that was 3 minutes short of 2 hours!!!! And 2 that were a couple of minutes short of an hour each. Weird thing is that my longest stretch is usually the first one, this one was the morning one. Interesting.

Other good news, yesterday I stayed totally on program, got my 10 veggies and 2 fruits, got my protein...

My Stats...
Calories...1768
Carbs...99
Fat...67
Protein....180
Fiber...28

Fat and fiber were a bit low because I did not have my usual avocado, but I go shopping today so that will take care of that.

Bad news, the sh!t at work for DH is not getting better, it is getting worse. He did talk to our old friend yesterday, this guy is very helpful in situations like this, so it reduced DH's stress level even if it didn't improve the work issue.

More bad news, DS's rifle team is being kicked off campus. The school district decided that nothing this is or looks like a weapon is allowed on any school property. They have a match at the end of the month, not sure how they are going to practice. Well, DS can practice because we have a firing lane set up in our basement, but as for the team I dunno what is going to happen.

[athomeontherange]

Did you say the hubs is a professor?

Totally sucks about the rifle team. How is it that it has been fine until now? If it is an organized sport why is it wrong? I mean I understand the whole no weapon policy but this is a little different. Can the school lease a range for practice? Or maybe a range will volunteer their space for a advertisement at a tournament? What about an open outdoor range?

[demuralist]

yep, DH is a prof, but also assistant Dean and admin of a couple of master's programs (thus the political/stressful side of his job)

We are looking at an open range. Meeting is on Thursday. The team we tend to compete against is a private school and just built a new range, we may be able to use their old one. We have a firing lane in our basement, but that isn't team like. I don't get it, it is a genderless, Olympic sport, that fits in very well with the school's student body (it is an academic magnet, and rifle is particularly good for less athletic students). They have had a rifle team since the school became a high school, and it is the oldest one in the city!

I am on my way to take DH to the airport, his dad has taken a turn for the worse.