Page 1 of 6 123 ... LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 53

Thread: Unsuccessfully Primal page

  1. #1
    scubasam's Avatar
    scubasam is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jun 2010
    Posts
    530

    Unsuccessfully Primal

    Shop Now
    Thanks to Elaine and Tigerlily for encouraging me to start this thread. I feel stupid starting it because I have started multiple threads like this over the past year, only to fail miserably and leave the boards for a few months, then come back and try again, and then fail, then come back and try again. But here goes anyway.

    I have read PB from cover to cover. I fully espouse this lifestyle. In fact, this is the way I ate most of my life growing up in South Africa and I never struggled with my weight. Refined carbs (bread and pasta) were never my thing, but now, I just can't seem to give them up. I have gained 100 lbs in the last 14 years and thank G-d my husband still loves me, because I sure don't love myself the way I am.

    My day always starts out really well, eggs and cooked tomatoes. Lunch is often skipped if I am busy and then I get so hungry I go to McD's and buy myself a meal. Then I won't eat for 6+ hours because I feel so ill, but by the evening I am hungry again so I start picking at whatever we have in the house, mostly primal foods, but not always. I have spent a ton of money stocking up on all the right foods, but then I get to a point where nothing looks good or appetizing so I don't eat at all - until I binge on starchy/carby foods.

    8 days is the longest I have gone without refined carbs since starting out on the primal journey. I have a myriad of health issues. PCOS, Insulin resistance recently turned into TIIDM, Hashimoto's and high triglycerides (because I am so damn fat). My body responds really well to low carb. I conceived all three of our kids after 3 weeks on South Beach Diet. Before that, I never conceived even though we were not trying to avoid pregnancy, so obviously my body craves low carb to function normally.

    I reached out to several CF gyms in the area, met with one guy over a year ago. We had our initial meeting and we were all set to start, then he emailed me to tell me that he could not commit the time needed to help me out. Now know that I am very fat, but I can move and am physically strong. I don't walk like someone who is 100 lbs overweight (I used to be a personal trainer so exercise is something I love). Then I contacted some other gyms, met with another trainer and we did our first workout together. He worked me so hard I literally could not sit down without being in agony for 3 days post workout (and I have a high threshold for pain). I emailed him and he told me I just had to push through it, which was not the right thing to say to me at the time.

    The workout looked something like this:

    Rowing machine for 500m, squats with 25lbs, rowing machine for 300m, pushups and pullups on the rings (so not full), rowing for 500m, lunges with kettlebells, rowing for 800m, deadlifts. My arms were fine. My legs were not. I have worked out in the past to the point of muscle failure, but my muscles would recuperate within 20-30 minutes. Then I would be sore for a day or two, but I could still move around easily after a few stretches. I literally could not sit without being in agony for 72 hours post workout. And this was my first workout with him. Then he was going away and couldn't meet with me at regular times, so I decided not to waste my money on him.

    I tried another instructor/gym who was amazing but his wife quoted me $100 per hour and I said no way (given that all the other gyms offer one-on-one training for $50-60 an hour here.

    So I really don't know what to do or how to get on the bandwagon and stay on it and I don't even know what I am really asking from you guys or how you can help me. As I said, I absolutely believe in the lifestyle, but keep sabotaging myself and I don't know why or how to change it. For those who got down here without switching off, thank you.

    PS I am a terrible sleeper. My youngest still gets up at least once a night and I go to bed too late and am up a lot at night.
    Last edited by scubasam; 08-07-2011 at 06:28 PM.

  2. #2
    TigerLily's Avatar
    TigerLily is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    Location
    metro Portland
    Posts
    3,250
    HELLO! ::: pouncing on you :::

    I so understand. I had one enormous fall off the wagon and it was months of struggle and misery to get back. The breakthrough for me was when I started working with a physical therapist and a personal trainer (they would gang up on me and double-team me!). I was so stiff and swollen and at my highest weight ever at that point. I HAD to resume eating primally, for the simple fact that I would be unable to do the PT guys when I was still inflamed from all the grains and crap. Even touching my toes was so hard to do.

    Instead of going hardcore with CF or one-on-one with a trainer who WAY overdid it with you (and, yes, he did -- I am pissed at him), how about more of a middle ground .... something like group exercises at the gym? Do you like group exercise? (Probably so, if you tried CF.) I really do. It gives me some accountability and the structure that I so seem to need, and I'll admit it, I see other women's bodies changing before my eyes and my innate competitiveness kicks in.

    I have a bunch of stuff to write! Ehhh, where to go next?

    Keep coming back here every single day. Even if you are bingeing your ever living brains out. The community will help to hold you up.
    "Let food be thy medicine and medicine be thy food." -- Hippocrates

  3. #3
    RitaRose's Avatar
    RitaRose is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
    Location
    Nevada
    Posts
    3,952
    Agreeing with Tiger Lily!

    I know it's tempting to want to fix everything at once, but I would focus on the food for now. You've made it 8 days, so you know that much is possible - keep trying to go longer. It does get easier the longer you do it.

    Right now, I'm worried that, between the baby waking at night and working out a lot, your cortisol is too high even if you were sticking with the proper food.
    My sorely neglected blog - http://ThatWriterBroad.com

  4. #4
    TigerLily's Avatar
    TigerLily is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    Location
    metro Portland
    Posts
    3,250
    Another thing that I've done is to put a gold star on my calendar for every day that my food was clean. Some days I had to fight like crazy for that freaking gold star, but I got it.

    Some days I just had to get in the bed and pull the covers over my head at 5:30 p.m.

    Is your hubs supportive, or does he try to sabotage?
    "Let food be thy medicine and medicine be thy food." -- Hippocrates

  5. #5
    scubasam's Avatar
    scubasam is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jun 2010
    Posts
    530
    Thanks Tigerlily. I belong to a gym and used to go regularly before my youngest got sick two years ago. I was doing great, losing weight, but then I wasn't able to take her to the gym anymore (could not risk leaving her in daycare) and I have not been able to get back into the swing of things since then. She has recovered fully TG, but I still have a hard time getting there. Best of intentions and all... that fail.

    Personal training is not an option for me anyway right now, but I do need to get my butt back into the gym. I love it and always feel so much better after going. I will stay on the boards and keep trying. Thanks for the encouragement. I have to do something.

    Seeing my 6 year old crying at the thought of losing one of us this evening was scary and heartbreaking. I want to be here for my kids and play with them and engage them physically all the time. I need to lose the shame and gain the confidence to get through this and do it, for me and for them.

    Thanks again :-).

  6. #6
    scubasam's Avatar
    scubasam is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jun 2010
    Posts
    530
    RitaRose, unfortunately, the baby is not such a baby anymore - she is 3.5... We are working on getting her to sleep through the night and it's getting better, but she is stubborn and it's taking time. My cortisol levels are fine thanks to the PS100 (phosphatidylserine) i take before bedtime.

  7. #7
    TigerLily's Avatar
    TigerLily is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    Location
    metro Portland
    Posts
    3,250
    I think that's a really great idea, RitaRose -- separate out the food thing from the exercise thing and just work on one at a time. Everyone is different, but I've found once I'm moving my body, it's not long before the food follows suit. But you know yourself best.

    Another tidbit: Get some sun every day and look at nature. I helps with depression to a surprising degree! I well remember eeking out one day at a time and feeling like I was in a fight for my life, and I was so low that even some sun and seeing a flower garden made enough of a difference that I could make it through that one day.
    "Let food be thy medicine and medicine be thy food." -- Hippocrates

  8. #8
    ElaineC's Avatar
    ElaineC is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2010
    Location
    Canada
    Posts
    843
    I hear you, I SO hear you, and I agree with what Tigerlily says - come back here every single day, even if you feel like a failure, and the community will support you and help you get through it. Some will say things you don't want to hear, some will - you will take in what you need to at that moment, and it will help you succeed. Sometimes, you can only go day by day, even hour by hour.

    I am terrible at getting exercise in. I would rather go DO something, and really, I'm exercising. I just don't think of it that way because its not slugging away on a bike, or walking around aimlessly. I don't think of it as exercise when I go to get my horse, but its over a half mile to go get him and bring him back, then riding (which doesn't feel like exercise), then another half mile and more walk to put him away. I need exercise with meaning, so if I want an all body work out, I go muck stalls for free at the barn. They are happy for the help, I'm happy for the workout, we all win.

    I would pick one thing to focus on fixing at a time, and add to it as you get a grip on each one. For me, it was my eating habits. More specifically, what I was eating. I've had a pretty good fall off the wagon the last month or two, so am back at having to work at keeping what I eat clean and healthy! Today it was hot and humid, it was all I could do to not go and get ice cream. But, somehow, I made it through the day eating well, and I feel good about it. Tomorrow, thats a whole different day.

    I find being prepared with food I can just grab when I'm over hungry my big downfall too. I'm not good at planning ahead :\ Really, I'm not. Not when it comes to food. I find I have to force myself to fix things ahead of time, so I can take it for lunch. Unfortunately, I find food the last thing I want to look at first thing in the morning, so fixing lunch makes me literally feel nauseous. So, I've learned to either have stuff I don't have to look at much, or pack it the night before. I know exactly what you mean when you say nothing looks appealing, so you pick, or you wait till you're starving then binge on carbs. I do the same thing, exactly the same thing. I had to get over a fear of eating, that its ok to eat healthy foods, and if I do, I won't get that horrible starving nothingness that makes me binge. It wasn't easy, I just made sure I ate the best that I could.

    For muscle recovery, MSM is awesome. So is taking a good magnesium/calcium supplement.

    Taking Vitamin D has helped me feel better, immensely. Same with Vitamin B, add a well rounded complex. Both help with cravings and binging, as well as energy.

    Your body is craving something, you just have to figure out what its craving and it will calm down. Frustrating, I know. Weight loss is slow with PCOS too, though I'm convinced that going Primal will help. I haven't had normal periods in over 10 years, they were random, heavy and horrible, and went on way too long. About 4 months into Primal, things went back to the way they were when I was in my 20's, rather suddenly. I've been slipping and cheating the last few weeks, and guess what - back to horrible. I really believe grains and sugars messes with our ovaries and base hormones terribly.

    Its not easy, not at all, to make big changes in your life. But, step by step, it gets easier, until it becomes the way you live. You can do this!
    Fighting fibromyalgia and chronic myofascial pain since 2002.

    Big Fat Fiasco

    Our bodies crave real food. We remain hungry as long as we refuse to eat real food, no matter how much junk we stuff into our stomachs. ~J. Stanton

  9. #9
    TigerLily's Avatar
    TigerLily is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    Location
    metro Portland
    Posts
    3,250
    When you wrote that about your kids crying because they didn't want you to die, that really tugged at my heart and put a lump in my throat .... because I remember crying (as an adult) to my mama that she was going to lose her leg (she had diabetes) if she didn't stop eating like she was.
    "Let food be thy medicine and medicine be thy food." -- Hippocrates

  10. #10
    scubasam's Avatar
    scubasam is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jun 2010
    Posts
    530
    I love the outdoors and do not spend nearly enough time out there. I must get back to going outside, it's just so easy to say 'I have to finish writing this... I will go in an hour' and then the hour turns into 3 and then you feel so shitty you just don't go. I am embarking on a new career now and am very busy with that, my studies and three young kids (6, almost 5 and 3.5).

    It is a great idea to separate out the food and the exercise and truth be told, exercising has never made me eat better, but it does make me feel better. I think I need to commit to getting back to the gym just to run on the elliptical for 40 minutes a day (not to do chronic cardio, but just to get my body moving at a good solid pace for that period of time). I find it easier to do that than get outdoors these days, so I will start with that and do what I can with the food.

    Thanks guys. I feel like I am gearing up to start this again as soon as we head home from the beach.

Page 1 of 6 123 ... LastLast

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •