Ladies... How do you lose the thighs?!? page 29

[Leida]

That's because the weight (mass) is a poor indicator. As I said, it is my wet dream to weigh more and measure less. Because that would indicate gaining muscle and losing fat. In fact I am absolutely envious and drooling about your muscle mass compared to mine.

I am not fat because I weigh a lot, but because fat makes up too much of my body percentage wise. However for me, weight does correlate directly to fat increase, rather than muscular increase, thus I am concerned about gaining weight. If I were gaining at least 75% of muscle when I gain weight, I would be a happy camper. But I gain 75% fat. In other words, I am skinny-fat or overfat, while not being overweight.

[Finnegans Wake]

To be honest, I feel a little hurt when I hear women around my height describing anything under 130 as big. I'm 5'8" and 150 pounds. I hear in the way women speak about themselves that those women see my weight as enormous and unacceptable, and I feel like maybe if they saw me without my clothes, they'd think I was all the things they say about themselves. And yet I'm at a perfectly healthy weight for my height and my measurements and body fat levels indicate I'm in good shape.

I just can't comprehend how a woman who weighs (on average) 25 pounds less than me can be in any way described as a whale or fat cow.

I know there's been a lot of discussion on this (Jessica Biel is too masculine?! FFS...), and the ridiculous heroine chic/refugee-thin modeling standards. As a guy, this all kinda pisses me off, to be honest. My wife is 5'6" 145-150#, and while she would like to lose some she looks great. She doesn't do weights, but we run. 5'8" 150# isn't "big." Women (and men) carry weight individually, and there's a wide range in what looks appropriate and attractive. (And of course what looks appropriate and attractive is subjective, right?)

I'm married, but I'm not dead. I look. Someone who looks natural, who has a fit appearance and a healthy glow, is going to be more attractive to me than some emaciated waif. Curves on a woman are not a bad thing (Sofia Vergara!). Muscle on a woman is not a bad thing. We're way too hung up on this shit, men, women, society. Be who you are, do the best you can, if someone doesn't like how you look then that's their problem.

As a young man trapped in a middle-aged guy's body , I want to look good for my woman, I want to feel vibrant and strong, but frankly I have a lot more to think about than whether people think I'm "big" or basically proportionate or whatever. Granted, there's a whole different set of expectations and societal crap women have to deal with, just sayin' I wish it weren't so. We each through our individual values have a vote in that, though. One small step at a time.

[solstice]

see I truly dont even believe in these terms like "skinny-fat." We are WOMEN...embrace it people. If you wanted to be super lean and muscular you should have been born a male. We are made perfect! Unfortunately our brains have been taken over by media schmedia -- it's like all women had a chip implanted to make them feel inferior due to any extraneous body fat...we DO become inferior as a result of our own undoing. We need way more self-love around here.

[magnolia1973]

As long as the self hate doesn't slip in, perfecting your body is fine. I'll be damned if I'm going to be upset about my thighs. But... I do ABSOLUTELY HATE weight associated hate talk because you can end up offending people and making them feel bad. If your 22" thighs are gross, then what the hell are my 26" thighs? However, if you want to be leaner... great.

But being lean or fat does not make you pretty, gross, ugly, cow like or anything.

Not to be arrogant, but we all need some of this.... I have hefty 26" thighs that are flabby and my arms are flabby. But I fill out a sweater dress like nobody's business. I have big boobs, a nice ass and a small waist. Really quite enviable blond hair and nice skin. So when a car full of on vacation marines whistles at me, when clients proclaim my husband to be lucky, when people call me gorgeous.... I don't really give a rats ass that no one wants to see my thighs in short-shorts.... they want to see my tits in a tight sweater and my ass in a tight skirt. Every last one of you is gorgeous, so flaunt what you've got, work on what you don't and stop feeling bad about not being airbrushed.

If you come up with a way to fix problem areas without plastic surgery... let us all in on that trick, k?

[sbhikes]

To be honest, I feel a little hurt when I hear women around my height describing anything under 130 as big. I'm 5'8" and 150 pounds. I hear in the way women speak about themselves that those women see my weight as enormous and unacceptable, and I feel like maybe if they saw me without my clothes, they'd think I was all the things they say about themselves. And yet I'm at a perfectly healthy weight for my height and my measurements and body fat levels indicate I'm in good shape.

I just can't comprehend how a woman who weighs (on average) 25 pounds less than me can be in any way described as a whale or fat cow.

I agree with this. I'm super short, less than 5'3" and at home my scale says 135 while at the doctor it said 142. So when some tall lady calls herself a whale or fat cow when she weighs so much less than me, I can only imagine what she would think of me if she saw me. It's like a virus when women say stuff like this about themselves, a virus that transfers to the rest of us and to our children.

I wouldn't want to be as skinny as some of you if I had to live with the kind of shit that goes on inside your heads.

I've got a very linear, chunky body with a thick waist, generous legs and too much upper arm size. I don't fill out anything in a manner that turns heads in this country. In rural India I turn heads and even stop traffic. Maybe I should go there instead.

[gopintos]

Well, to be fair, the conversation has morphed and gone in several directions.

flabby frame with fat still hanging

Ok, since it has gone several directions, maybe I can ask this here? While you are still in weight loss mode, does your body sort of deflate, and maybe even look worse than before when it was fat? Kind of like a darkest before the dawn sort of thing? I have noticed things softer, even "flabbier" I guess is a word, whereas when it use to be filled with more fat, at least it was solid.

I am really hoping to not have alot of skin. I have lost about 70lbs so far, and not really fast. About 20 by making small changes over the course of a year maybe? Then January to mid-March I was dieting CW way and lost about 25. Since primal in mid March, so that's what? 9 months? to lose another 25. (uggggh) So anyways, it has not been rapid by any means. And I might be half way there. I dont know.

I figure it is what it is. I do "do stuff" but not a manic about that yet. Mostly just anal about the food part so far. Light ST 3 times, tabata on my elliptical 2-3 times but I am not always consistent. And it is cold so no big deal - no shorts in the near future, however I am hoping to emerge in the spring (okay summer sometime) as a butterfly though

Anyways, I was just wondering if things tend to get softer before they adios.

[soror]

I've not posted on here in forever but have been reading this thread with interest. I hope the OP can give herself some more slack, the measurements posted cannot be qualified as fat by any qualifiers unless we are comparing to anorexic models.

I am 1 month post partum with my 4th child. I'm generally about a size 4(down to a size 2 at times) and right now I'm about a size 10. I'm been thinking a lot lately about what is healthy and what is a good size. I've felt like I was doing "good" to be smaller, although my husband prefers me curvier- I'm naturally an hourglass. I don't know that I want to be as small as I was.

Fwiw check out :
Welcome - My Body Gallery - What Real Women Look Like

For pictures of real women at all different sizes. We tend to be too hard on ourselves imo and can be more forgiving of others than ourselves. So, I'm working on loving the body I am in right now and embracing my extra curviness. I'm hoping to keep an eye towards health and not so much towards measurement, trying to get smaller and smaller is not the best goal.

Fwiw I'm 5'4' and 150 right now. Usually I range from 117-124 or so. My dh(and friends) find me too skinny at 117. Right now I am considering what it would be like to just say 130 is ok for me. What about 140? Looking at other women at that size on the site above I see that it really can look nice imo. In my home growing up anything over a size 6 was considered "fat" my mom is still perpetually off and on different diets trying to keep her body just so. I don't want to pass that legacy onto my daughters(I have 3). I can still remember my measurements from before I gave birth to my first. I don't want my daughters to have such a narrow view of beauty and health.

[magnolia1973]

So when some tall lady calls herself a whale or fat cow when she weighs so much less than me, I can only imagine what she would think of me if she saw me. It's like a virus when women say stuff like this about themselves, a virus that transfers to the rest of us and to our children.

She would envy something about you.

I was at a party and saw lots of women, then a photo of me in the group. They were all bigger than me (odd, OK) and when I was with them, I didn't think 1. anyone was fat or 2. that I was smaller.

[MamaGrok]

But my character flaws lead me to overeat and treat myself with food, so it leads to a healthy middle-aged woman with too much fat on her frame for her liking. It's really very simple.

It is in almost every case a biochemical problem, not a character flaw. I can turn my cravings (& the subsequent eating binges that you would, and I once did, characterize as "character flaws") like a light switch. Skip breakfast, eat less fat, less protein, more carbs ... BAM it comes back. Eat a huge breakfast, solid fat & protein all the time, seasonal carbs, *switch goes off*. No cravings. No binges.

This is true for almost every person who tries it and finds the magic combination of breakfast/fat/protein for him or her. Find that combo, do it, and switch is off. Get off track on your personal magic combo, switch is back on and all the cravings and overeating returns.

If your 22" thighs are gross, then what the hell are my 26" thighs? However, if you want to be leaner... great.

But being lean or fat does not make you pretty, gross, ugly, cow like or anything.

No kidding. Mine are 23" right now and I'm thrilled, but they were 25" last year and 27.5" the year before and ... still happy to be me. I figure my thighs being more in balance with the rest of my body will happen when the rest of my body is really healthy. For me, it's not something I'm going to work on specifically, b/c as I mentioned before, when I run/lift/squat/swim more, my thigh muscle just adds circumference on top of the fat. Kudos to those for whom it works.

I'm personally much happier to have disproportionate thighs than, say, arms or waist, b/c it's really easy to hide my thighs. Most people have no idea they're so big.

[zoebird]

For me, there's an aspect here that has to do with body type itself. IF we look at the three classical types (which is more like a gradient scale), you're going to have people who have smaller frames and amount of muscle (and usually fat) on one end, and those with larger frames, more muscle (and often more fat) on the other. And in the middle are those who are our current beauty standard (in fitness circles), and on the far thin side, you'll have our models.

So, looking at myself and my sister comparatively, same height -- different body types. My sister is healthier around 145, and I'm healthier where I am now (i consider it htus because of the "no effort" aspect). And I have a friend who is the same height but healthier at 155/160 (where she normally sits with "minimal effort") and then also another friend who is healthy and the same height who sits in comfortably around 115-120.

Some of us are apples, some are pears, some are hourglass, some are more straight/boyish, and one is even all boobs (triangle?). And all of us are fit and healthy.

I would say that "loose skin" is not "hanging fat" but I have also noted (particularly among people with body dysmorphia) that sometimes the relaxed muscle in the arm is 'pinched' and 'flicked as if there's no muscle there at all. Usually, there is, and if a person activates, then no big deal. Other times, there is loose skin, and no amount of anything is going to get rid of it at a certain point except surgery.