Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 19

Thread: A bit annoyed with my newly skinny friend... page

  1. #1
    HTownGirl's Avatar
    HTownGirl is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
    Location
    Houston, TX
    Posts
    267

    A bit annoyed with my newly skinny friend...

    Primal Fuel
    Don't get me wrong--I'm happy for her. She's a year older than me and looks fabulous!

    Over the last two years, she has lost a LOT of weight by hiring a personal trainer and eating "healthy". She's 5'11" and now weighs around 150.

    I recently invited her over for dinner and I cooked ribs, a cauliflower "potato" salad and a lovely salad with vinaigrette. I made Primal barbeque sauce for the ribs (and it is delicious, BTW).

    Of course, she wanted to contribute to the meal, so when I opened the door, she comes in dressed in small shorts, a tank top, sandals (looking sleek and healthy) with two bags of groceries. She pulls out hummus, popcorn chips, guacamole (yay!), assorted crackers, chocolate, numerous other delicacies and the piece de resistance, a bottle of ice wine.

    And while I'm preparing dinner, she is pigging out on all of this stuff, and offering it to me (I had a few nibbles to be polite and tried to stick to the more "primal offerings"), then has no problem eating a large dinner, with ice wine for dessert (which was heavenly, BTW). She knows I am doing the Primal thing, and to be fair, I haven't really told her in detail what it entails.

    Then later that week, I went to lunch with her and I had a beautiful Veggie Chef Salad with all manner of vegetables, avocado, nuts and lemon olive oil dressing, and she ordered hummus with lots of bread and chicken tenders with gravy and ate every bite. Ugh--it was torture for me.

    Here's the rub, and I know this is MY problem. It made me rethink what I'm doing. It made me think that perhaps i am doing this the wrong way. She seems so happy and healthy. She says that now her metabolism is working as it should and she doesn't have to work out very hard anymore and can eat more and not be concerned as much about what she eats. She does not seem to be restricted in any way.

    Now, I know the way I'm doing this is right, but when I see her it makes me think that obviously she's doing something right. Sometimes I wonder if she only eats this way in front of me--maybe showing off a bit. Have any of you experienced this?

    Is it terrible to wish she'd start gaining a few pounds? ;-) I know, I'm an awful friend! :-)

    OK, maybe I AM a bit jealous.

  2. #2
    Captain Archer's Avatar
    Captain Archer is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jul 2011
    Posts
    556
    Just remember that she is placing toxins into her body, instead of wishing she gained weight try to approach her with that.
    If she continues to place toxic crap into her body, just ignore it.
    Primal > Toxic shit.

  3. #3
    RitaRose's Avatar
    RitaRose is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
    Location
    Nevada
    Posts
    3,952
    I used to eat all kinds of crap, and it didn't do a thing to make me fat until I was in my late 30s. What I didn't know, though, was the damage it was doing to my insides.

    Don't judge a book by its cover. Things may not be as they appear to be.
    My sorely neglected blog - http://ThatWriterBroad.com

  4. #4
    Saoirse's Avatar
    Saoirse is online now Senior Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2010
    Posts
    6,641
    i generally eat more in social situations than by myself, but not intentionally. it's possible that she's just eating a ton, and that's all she ate for the day. just remember that what works for some does not work for others. stick with what you're doing, and if you've given it a month or two (at least) to no avail, come back here and we'll see if we can troubleshoot what you're doing. when i first started, i ate whatever i wanted and i still lost a little weight. now i'm getting into a lower weight (what i weighed before kids), and i'm finding that i DO need to eat a little bit less then i'm used to. we're talking about maybe 1800 cal per day or so, and it's not a big deal to me. i'm easily losing weight with very little intentional exercise and no feelings of deprivation. (a solid 121 now on my 5'4" frame) pat her on the back, "you look great, good for you." but give yourself a shot!

  5. #5
    ChaserBD04's Avatar
    ChaserBD04 is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
    Location
    Seattle, WA
    Posts
    100
    Here's the thing... because none of the people I know are really primal and many of them look sleek and healthy as well... different things work for different people. I've always been about least work for most results and you have to ask yourself what kind of fitness she's having to engage in to stay looking that way (and trust me, if she keeps eating that way, it ain't gonna so for long!). Now I know you said SHE said she doesn't have to work out very hard anymore, but our society has changed a lot in what conventional wisdom says is "hard" workouts. This is the day and age of Insanity, Crossfit, P90X; a day and age where marathons are now hip, 10k's (to a few people that just like to hear themselves talk) are for people who can't do half marathons or full ones... and now triathalons are becoming hip as well. Her version of not working out very hard might well be what strays into the "chronic cardio" range.

    Beyond that, as my mom says, different things will work for different people. As much as most of us following the primal way believe and know that probably everyone would be better off eating this way, it's not going to work out for everyone. I work with a guy that sits down in front of me every day with a bucket of fried cafeteria food, and slice of some type of cake, and usually a coke or something. In some ways, he's a sort of primal dude; he barefoot runs... but he runs and TON. He's also just a naturally skinny guy and I do occasionally get jealous. But I have to look at what changing my lifestyle has done for me. I take long walks with my dog now... and on the weekends when I sprint, he chases me relentlessly around the dog park and it's a blast. The long walks also calm me down after stressful work days and put me in a great mood. I've learned to cook (in just a few months) dozens of things I never thought I could. I've lost weight without having to over train or strain. In the evenings I put on music I love and cook and have a great time in my kitchen and really it's all very zen. I also was introduced to new experiences like paddleboarding.

    Don't just sit back and look at weight and numbers and looks and the way shorts fit on someone... yourself or your friend. Truly examine everything living the primal way has given you and I'll bet you'll find some things that, aside from being benefical health wise, have just overall improved your life. You're way might never be her way or vice versa, but if you find that you're a happier, healthier person, then hey! Why trade that for a flour coated chicken wing and a basket of fries? :-)
    ~All luck is earned in the end.~

  6. #6
    HTownGirl's Avatar
    HTownGirl is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
    Location
    Houston, TX
    Posts
    267
    Quote Originally Posted by Saoirse View Post
    i generally eat more in social situations than by myself, but not intentionally. it's possible that she's just eating a ton, and that's all she ate for the day. just remember that what works for some does not work for others. stick with what you're doing, and if you've given it a month or two (at least) to no avail, come back here and we'll see if we can troubleshoot what you're doing. when i first started, i ate whatever i wanted and i still lost a little weight. now i'm getting into a lower weight (what i weighed before kids), and i'm finding that i DO need to eat a little bit less then i'm used to. we're talking about maybe 1800 cal per day or so, and it's not a big deal to me. i'm easily losing weight with very little intentional exercise and no feelings of deprivation. (a solid 121 now on my 5'4" frame) pat her on the back, "you look great, good for you." but give yourself a shot!
    Great advice, thanks! Actually, I'm sure she is much healthier than she was before, and is definitely a much happier person. She is a good friend and certainly will not discourage me on my path, and, right now, I am not going to discourage her on her path. I've been on my primal journey for 4 months now, and am showing results and feel much better, but sometimes it's just not fast enough for me. I have to keep reminding myself that it took many years to get where I was, that my body is healing, and it is going to take time to get to where i want to be (or where my body wants to be, which might not be the same thing).

    I've been plagued with a nagging foot problem, so I really haven't gotten to the exercise part yet (other than a long slow walk to lunch), but that will come. I'm not a stranger to exercise at all, so i know I will begin in earnest as soon as I am able. I know that then I will be seeing results faster.

    And, of course, I don't really want her to gain weight just to validate that what I'm doing is right, and what she is doing is wrong. I just needed to vent a bit, I guess.

  7. #7
    HTownGirl's Avatar
    HTownGirl is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
    Location
    Houston, TX
    Posts
    267
    Quote Originally Posted by ChaserBD04 View Post
    Don't just sit back and look at weight and numbers and looks and the way shorts fit on someone... yourself or your friend. Truly examine everything living the primal way has given you and I'll bet you'll find some things that, aside from being benefical health wise, have just overall improved your life. You're way might never be her way or vice versa, but if you find that you're a happier, healthier person, then hey! Why trade that for a flour coated chicken wing and a basket of fries? :-)
    That's exactly what I needed to hear. Thanks!!

  8. #8
    wiltondeportes's Avatar
    wiltondeportes Guest
    Quote Originally Posted by Captain Archer View Post
    Just remember that she is placing toxins into her body, instead of wishing she gained weight try to approach her with that.
    If she continues to place toxic crap into her body, just ignore it.
    Primal > Toxic shit.
    What is toxic about bread, hummus, and crackers?

    Maybe bad for the digestive system (which can affect many areas). But I wouldn't say toxic....

  9. #9
    bloodorchid's Avatar
    bloodorchid is online now Senior Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    Location
    tn
    Posts
    9,078
    i still like hummus *shrug*

  10. #10
    TigerLily's Avatar
    TigerLily is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    Location
    metro Portland
    Posts
    3,250
    me too *shrug*
    so does my Primal friend, who is in the best shape of his life at 42 *shrug*
    "Let food be thy medicine and medicine be thy food." -- Hippocrates

Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •