I tried a journal once before but I think it was too much for me to try to do. That or I wasn't ready. I have 14 large bowling balls to lose. And I think I need to make this easy on myself. I'm going to try one day at a time. If I make it two days then good on me. 30? hot damn.

See, I've got Bipolar 2, GAD, Pre-diabetes, Pre-hypertension, a huge list of allergies/sensitivities, and PTSD. PLUS I have a DD who will be 1 in August. AND I have a lot of chronic stress that I have very little control over currently. So I need to change my life around. One day at a time. Or even one meal at a time.

With the way my mind works and the way my life is I feel like I can't make a huge commitment. Otherwise I'd go all "perfect nazi" on myself. And that does nothing for my anxiety or stress.

So what I've decided is to create a giant "poster" to put on my door for me to see what day I will be taking the plunge to eat nothing but protein and veggies (because I need to kick all forms of sugar for awhile to see how it affects my mental status-bipolar can be treated with a strict no sugar diet) for one entire day.

Until that day comes I'll be working on "my" pantry (or at least those foods I can choose to stock up on since I eat other people's food right now) and slowly weaning myself off of caffeine so I'm not crazy mom for my DD.

What does this mean? Nuts instead of candy (my house has candy jars for easy snacking but I need to make myself a nut jar instead), stock up on inexpensive and quick meats, stock up on veggies, and meal plan. If I meal plan things should be easier. I may even try broth in the morning instead of coffee!

If anyone reads this I'd appreciate advice. Until then I hope to figure it all out (oh, and since my DD's bday will probably fall in the middle of my first month I'm already planning it to be a potluck with a "GFCF" cake {read semi-primal} as well as cucumber sandwiches, berries, and celery with almond butter). I'm hoping a little pre-planning will make the day to day a lot easier. My birthday? It'll be in month 2 and will be a bit easier hopefully.

My stats? 56inch waist, 399.1lbs, 6' (used to be 6'1" when I weighed less), 21 yrs old.