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Thread: Anxiety, depression, laziness...Can the nameless wonder change? page 98

  1. #971
    drssgchic's Avatar
    drssgchic is offline Senior Member
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    Since you're already the bigger person, continue to be so. Smile with them, be polite, and interact on a purely superficial level. You don't need the stress they're giving you right now, so don't take it. Don't be rude, don't be overtly dismissive, but don't spend any more energy on them than you need to right now. Spend time with your mom and anyone else there that you really like. The people that SHOULD have your time and energy.

    It sucks, though, that you two (and you and your dad) interact that way. Family is important. On the other hand, that does not justify them belittling you.
    http://cattaillady.com/ My blog exploring the beginning stages of learning how to homestead. With the occasional rant.

    Originally Posted by TheFastCat: Less is more more or less

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  2. #972
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    I think on the one hand I'm really good at those superficial interactions, but they stress me out. I am going to try and spend as much time with the rest of my family, and get away when I can't. My aunt, grandmother, cousins & family will be there, so there will be plenty to talk about! And The Avengers is coming out, so we can escape to see that at some point. Oh and Boyfriend will be with me so that should help me not explode. We tend to keep each other cool. If it weren't for me, he would have attempted to beat of many if not most of my immediate family members by now ><

    I feel especially conflicted because I want to be 100% behind my sister, but I am totally not 100% behind the way she acts. How do I know when it's okay to be like "Bitch, you are being pretty sucky" in terms of attitude and avoidance for sanity-retention-purposes, and when to say, "I got you."
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  3. #973
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    My sister irritates me too. She says one thing and then does something else. Most recently she decided she'd rather be single b/c it's easier, less drama, more time for her kids, etc, and then a week later she was sleeping with/half dating a guy she'd been friends with for quite some time. Of course, the relationship didn't last long b/c I swear this guy has a new fling every week, and now they're barely friends, which is exactly why she didn't want to date him, but she did anyway. Then today, he posted on facebook that he's "in a relationship" with some girl. She texts me and said "wanna take bets on how long this one will last". After a bit more conversation I asked her why it bothers her so much that he's got a new girlfriend (less than a week after they split, mind you) if she doesn't want a boyfriend. She got all defensive and said it's not bothering her when she was blatantly bashing him and saying "he'll be in love next week". Sometimes people just annoy me, but it seems family annoys me more.
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  4. #974
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    Maybe it's because we (or I at least) expect more from them, being family? I love them, and I want to put them on a higher pedestal than others maybe because I love them, but then they fall short of my expectations and it's rather crushing. That kind of attitude sounds a lot like my sister in some ways. Boyfriend is so good about understanding his family's failings and still being ready to fight to the death for them, and I just don't understand how to do that when I've felt so betrayed (legitimately, from insults, and also just from perceived short-comings and my own bias I suppose).

    Adding you on FB btw, if you don't mind.
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  5. #975
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    I got your friend request. Pretty name, by the way! I accepted your friend request and will facebook stalk you now. bwahahahaha
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  6. #976
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    Just stopped in to say I really like your new picture (the purple is fabulous), but then I started reading about your sister...wonder how she got to feeling like she 'needs' a man. Sorry it's causing you angst.

  7. #977
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    I'm not really sure how to deal with it. My favorite brother growing up pretty much stopped talking to me when I started taking medication for my depression. Not that he ever talked much, but now it's pretty much never. That is one way of dealing with siblings.

    Is there any way for you to sit her down and say "I'm here for you, I have your back, but what you are doing concerns me" ? I mean a serious conversation about it. Maybe she also isn't used to having someone have her back and that's why she jumps from man to man, looking for that. After you have had a conversation like that, I think that opens the door to possible "I love you, but I'm not ok with what you're doing " conversations. Maybe?
    http://cattaillady.com/ My blog exploring the beginning stages of learning how to homestead. With the occasional rant.

    Originally Posted by TheFastCat: Less is more more or less

    And now I have an Etsy store: CattailsandCalendula

  8. #978
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    Quote Originally Posted by drssgchic View Post
    Is there any way for you to sit her down and say "I'm here for you, I have your back, but what you are doing concerns me" ? I mean a serious conversation about it. Maybe she also isn't used to having someone have her back and that's why she jumps from man to man, looking for that. After you have had a conversation like that, I think that opens the door to possible "I love you, but I'm not ok with what you're doing " conversations. Maybe?
    Good idea!!
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  9. #979
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    I'm not sure when I could/would have the balls to talk to my sister, but those are good ideas. I know her though, and I know she would not opt to stop and think before speaking. If we were going to have a discussion, I would probably start it off suggesting that she wait to respond until she's had time to think, and that I just want to make myself clear and get this off my chest.

    I'm a bit depressed today because of my food choices. I keep going back to this idea that I can "get away with" a bit of sugar or a bit of wheat. But when I have them, I often have them together (burger and shake at Sonic on Saturday, burger and ice cream last night). Today I pay the price with intestinal pain and gas. I expect the end result of the gas will be unpleasant as well. I'm not sure how to get it through my thick skull that these are not good food options. I'm having a yeast flare-up as a result and am ordering more Candex and some powdered L-Glutamine (will be easier to take a higher dose). I think we can fairly say that I have Irritable Bowel Syndrome, but really that just means I need to make better choices with my food because it's kind of a general diagnosis. My bowels would be fine if I was eating properly!

    ^I think those concerns about "getting it right" are things that a lot of paleo people struggle with. At least I know I'm not alone.

    No-poo: I haven't washed my hair with conventional shampoo in ages. The last time I used conventional conditioner was on vacation mid-March at my aunt's house. It seemed to cut down on some grease I'd accumulated. I feel like my head has transitioned at this point, but my hair doesn't feel as amazing as I'd hoped it would. I might start washing more and using natural conditioners to try and get a better feeling from my hair. I also still suffer from some flakes on one area of my scalp. Today I used castille soap (from a bar, rubbed onto my hands and then my scalp/roots), rinsed, and then pre-boiled water/white vinegar for a moment before rinsing. My hair feels a bit filmy, but better than it has lately. I reallllllly need to get a trim. I would cut it myself, but I don't want it to look terrible and I know from plenty of past experience that it probably would

    Nothing else to say, semi-busy this morning, though I'm sure the afternoon will be boring as all hell as usual. I really need to learn how to space out my work.
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  10. #980
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    I don't do well with spacing my work either and have a LOT of downtime as a result...

    I haven't gone poo-less yet. i want to cut my hair first. It tangles so easily even when I use conditioner, so I want to cut a few inches off of it first before I attempt poo-less.

    I'm sorry you're having such a rough time with the food choices. Does it help if you think of them as poisons or toxins? that helps me to stay away from wheat - but not sugar. Sugar is a huge problem for me. It's my crack.
    Primal since March 5, 2012
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