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Thread: Anxiety, depression, laziness...Can the nameless wonder change? page 94

  1. #931
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    namelesswonder is offline Senior Member
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    Budget: My budget is on a break. More shit came down the tube yesterday, for Boyfriend, just when he was getting his bills under control.

    Mood/Brain shizz: I got all my supplements in last night at the appropriate times (dinner was not so late as it has been recently), but I woke up during the night, sweltering, so that probably accounts for today's fatigue. Fortunately, it's only physical. I am feeling much better mentally today, though it may just be the impending weekend. I know I will probably feel worse later, as the day drags on and I'll probably be bored, but I feel able to look forward to getting out of work instead of just feeling miserable and pessimistic.

    I dreamt last night that my mom was going to pay for my cat's vet visit (wondering if I can allocate some of the bonds money towards that, but that's a low priority) for updated vaccines, and then I just had to worry about a little box, litter, and some initial food (forgetting about flea treatment required by lease April-October). It was more than a little confusing and disappointing when I woke up this morning and realized this hadn't happened. I think it would benefit both Boyfriend and me to have a cat in the house.

    Whole30: I guess I'm bailing on the Whole30, but I'm still determined to eat clean for the rest of the month, in terms of avoiding soy, corn & wheat/refined sugar. I'm still not worried about rice consumption (mostly because it's been incredibly unappealing to me lately) and if I have beans, it'll probably only be once (and totally worth it, Mexican dinners FTW), if we go out to eat. I'm also not concerned about dairy because I know I don't have an allergy and it's not something I "over-do". I just realized there will probably be cake at my aunt's wedding, or some other dessert. Maybe I will pick up some Haagen Daz to eat instead, so it's not as difficult to avoid.

    Grocery wish list: (I may or may not buy these things for the coming week) Soybean oil-free tomato sauce for meatzza, potatoes (sweet and russet or those little reddish ones), Larabars, spaghetti squash, protein powder (maybe? maybe not?), FRRRRUUUUIIIITTTT (and pre-frozen berries)

    Food: I think I will make some egg muffins with ground beef this weekend, maybe toss in some peppers too. That sounds like a good way to use up some eggs without getting tired of them (because omelettes, fried eggs, and scrambled eggs don't appeal to me right now). I will probably drink tonight because I know it will be an enjoyable way to relax.

    Weekend happenings: Tomorrow afternoon, I go to start coloring my tattoo. I will post an updated progress picture here if anyone is interested, otherwise I'll save it for a final reveal. I forgot I was going to try to post pictures here more often! Ah well. Other than that, I just need to top off the scooter tank and relax this weekend. Too bad it's going to cool off and get rainy on Sunday
    Last edited by namelesswonder; 01-16-2015 at 12:31 PM.
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  2. #932
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  3. #933
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    I could be biased here due to my unrequited love type relationship with dairy, but from my experience if you want to lose weight you gotta kick dairy in the shins.

    But it seems like you're focusing on cutting out things slowly, so I'll refrain from expanding on the unsolicited advice.

    Have you tried the cauliflower pizza? It uses cauli and shredded mozarella to bind it as a crust. It's one of the best tasting fake pizzas out there for PBers. Since I can't have dairy, you should make it so I can at least have it vicariously ;p
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  4. #934
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    I'm not trying to lose weight, I'm trying to gain or maintain because I don't eat enough! Dairy is A-Okay with me, I mostly don't have it often because the good stuff is too expensive. Accidentally not eating enough seemed to get me to my goal weight, but I don't recommend it.

    I'm very curious about cauliflower pizza, but Boyfriend is not really on board with anything that pretends to be SAD food. If I call it pizza, it has to taste like pizza. Meatzza, on the other hand, is effing delicious, but I can never get the meat to stay together for the crust.

    Oh and whoever said that filling in a tattoo is less painful than the outline was a LYING SACK OF SHIT. It hurt A LOT. But I'm still looking forward to my last session in 3 weeks to finish it up and add color.
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  5. #935
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  6. #936
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    Ramblings, Ravings and Rants.: Monday ramblings
    My mom is paying for Fae's vaccinations this week, so as soon as I have the money for the starter supplies (probably going to be at least $100, with most of that being for some kind of flea control), my kitty is coming home! I am so excited.

    Food: I "cheated" a bit and got some gluten-free cookies this weekend. I needed a treat so I got pre-mixed cookie dough and mix in a bag. I baked up the dough and really need to locate the brand name on the receipt because I want to review it: it was not very good. The texture was perfectly cookie-like, but it kind of tasted bitter, like baking soda maybe. I had Boyfriend take a nibble to make sure it wasn't just my hyper-sensitive taste buds, but alas, they just tasted funky. That didn't stop me from eating them though The taste helped me not go overboard with them hehe. I picked up some potatoes this weekend and made some awesome oven fries last night. I was actually full after dinner, but I hadn't eaten lunch so the hunger came back at bedtime. Boo.

    Mood/Brain shizz: My depression seems to have lifted over the weekend. Maybe it was not being at work, maybe it had just run its course, but I feel better. I think I will decrease the dose of 5-HTP again because I'm still feeling very groggy in the morning and have had a harder time thinking. If that doesn't improve the thought-fog, I will try increasing Tyrosine. I'll try to wait until next week before I mess with it. My therapy appointment is this Friday and, of course, now I feel like I won't know what to talk about. I guess I will just explain the situation with Boyfriend's depression and my initial response to it, and see what she has to say.

    Sleep: I'm sleeping pretty well with taking magnesium and 5-HTP at dinner and before bed, but white noise seems to keep me asleep the best. I woke up a lot last night as Boyfriend moved around the apartment and he wasn't being overly loud. The white noise of the air purifier helps me stay asleep and mask the sounds of movement when he stays up all night, I think. I will try not to forget turning that on again! I still need to get a new filter for it.

    Exercise: I did the week 1 workout for Jillian Michaels' Shredded in 30 Days this weekend. Boyfriend joined in for a little while, his shoulder seems to handle stretching out quite well and he can manage a few push-ups with no pain. It's mostly the lack of strength and mobility that bothers him now, but physical therapy and careful stretching and working it should help with that (he sees the surgeon for another follow-up today so we'll know more about his limitations). Anyway I'm still fairly sore 2 days later. I can imagine that I will feel fine by tomorrow and may try to do the video again. I really hate doing it, mostly because I hate cardio and I suck at it, but Michaels is pretty damn annoying so I just hate on her the whole time and push through it. Maybe I will mute the video and put on some music, just watching for the cues.

    Body: Maybe it's just the depression lifting, but I felt really good about my body this weekend. Sunday, the day after the workout, I realized I had those rib-muscles (they look like ribs, but it's the muscles over/between the ribs) for the first time ever! I also feel like my abs are much more defined and was happy to have sore glutes. I can't see enough in our small bathroom mirror to really see how my whole body is changing, but I'm happy with the progress on my upper body and arms. I think if I do the week 1 workout for a couple of weeks and then alternate with week 1 and week 2, I should be able to increase my plank-hold and push-ups pretty quickly. I'll keep doing kettlebell swings on "off days" when I'm not sore. I'm pretty sure my pants aren't fitting as loosely as they have been recently (a certain pair, size 4, from Old Navy, that only started fitting within the last month) because of muscular changes because I definitely haven't put on any fat.
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  7. #937
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    Much better profile pic! I'd hold off on the tattoos though. I don't like them myself. Very permanent.

  8. #938
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    Quote Originally Posted by namelesswonder View Post
    Ugh apparently the protein powder gives me terrible stomach aches. Or maybe it's the coconut oil? That's what I cooked lunch in and I ate a little as well as melting some to mix into my protein shake. Coconut milk used to give me pretty bad stomach aches when I used it in shakes. It's the kind of feeling like I might have to run to the bathroom, which is not a bad thing considering the likelihood of constipation.

    I've been reading about oil pulling a bit today. I bet it would really help Boyfriend, who has quite soft teeth and has had many cavities, and I'm curious if it would be good for my gums, which have a tendency to recede (but only once episode that felt like recession since going primal, yaayy). I might try a spoonful of CO before my shower, spitting it out after I dry off, for a few weeks and see how my mouth feels. It'll help use up the stinky (smells like coconut which I don't like hehe) CO I have!

    Edit: I didn't think about my energy levels at all today until just now! Maybe it was going home halfway through the day for about an hour (Boyfriend needed the car to get to an appointment) that rejuvenated me, but I didn't really feel tired or lethargic until right now. Wish I could go home for lunch everyday, but it means 1.5 hrs out of the office including travel time, which isn't really feasible
    Just randomly reading your journal, not even sure if you still read. Dr elie tooth program is amazing.. my 5 year old daughter healed 4 small early carries *cavities* and I healed 3 as well.
    Ask Dr. Ellie

  9. #939
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    Hey Nameless,

    Just wanted to say I love the new profile pic....diggin the purple

  10. #940
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    Yeah, I was gonna say... I looked at the first page of your journal. You're much taller than I am; I certainly was not happy with being 130 at 5'2 ;D

    You're living the life! Eating to maintain weight, why that's the stuff of dream! *floats on a bacon cloud*
    Wanna trade? No matter what I do I seem to only be able to maintain my weight. Nothing more, nothing less.

    I also did Shred. And Diana did too. So, it's definitely MDA approved. I think D followed through and the facebook pics she posted back then were smouldering. I, on the other hand, got bored very quickly (story of my life). And yeah, I also wanted to strangle the bitch mid-workout.
    But that white girl to the left of her is so pretty! She's got the perfect body. I would always watch her and get extremely jealous and oddly motivated. She has really cute tiny-waist-big-hips but she looks really delicate.
    *girl crush*

    Great pic! Purple really makes your green eyes stand out, which are also very pretty btw ;3
    "The penis is the male animal-flower, a soft-firm dildo, a warm dream."
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