It's definitely okay for me to rant here, I just feel like it's not okay sometimes. I guess it's just one of those stupid things ingrained in me by society that women are not allowed to be emotional. I mean, I don't even like me to be emotional to an extent. I don't want to be hysterical. Oh gods, I feel like I'm back in one of my feminist courses. Those were fun and simultaneously stupid.
I sent an MDA link to a co-worker today because I was chatting with him on FB chat this morning and mentioned making an omelette in bacon grease. He was all "ew I'm trying to eat healthy so that grosses me out." I sent him a message with a link & admitted that bacon is not the most nutrient dense food, but it's not as harmful as they say. I hope he checks it out, though he was very skeptical when I said "Fat's not bad for you, trust me." My only proof is that I haven't died yet, and I should find out soon if my cholesterol is amazing or not. I think the success stories speak for themselves, but every "diet" has a success story, I just think primal/paleo success stories are more complete (not just about the weight, it's about quality of life).
Brain shizz: I am still ANXIOUS and FRUSTRATED as all fucking get out. What the fuck does that even mean? Yeah I'm swearing a lot more and that's usually a sign of frustration for me. I've increased my dose of Theanine to 300mg, 3x daily. If things are still screwy by the end of the week, I'm back on the full 500mg of Tyrosine instead of 250mg to see if that helps. I'll probably give up and change it sooner since I usually feel a difference pretty quickly when I change something and it actually works.
Sleep: Feeling slightly caught up. If I can stay off the computer tonight, I should have an easy time getting to bed early. I did not sleep much last night though, because I went to bed just after 11PM, woke up around 1AM to tell Boyfriend to join me, and was awake before 7AM when my brother texted me. Feeling okay despite the lack.
Food: Steak with peppers & onions last night HIT THE FUCKING SPOT. I let my steaks come to room temperature and took them off the heat when they still looked kind of raw in the middle, but they finished cooking and were just pink throughout. Fucking delicious. And I was really craving peppers and onions, for some reason. I cooked the veggies in, you guessed it, bacon grease. Om fucking nom. I haven't decided if I'm having lunch today, but I have a teeny bit of leftovers from the weekend to polish off if I need it in an hour or two (not hungry now, had breakfast). Oh yes, and I had sugar last night. 2 squares of 90% dark chocolate and the rest of my cottage cheese with honey. It didn't get rid of my headache, but it's finally gone this morning and everything is put away so I will hopefully not raid the cupboard before the end of the month. At this rate, I am not doing well enough to allow myself a treat on Valentines Day.
Symptoms: Congestion may be slightly less? I don't know. I should probably stop thinking about this for another week or so and see if it still seems bad. Oh right, my appointment is on Monday. Okay I guess I'll revisit this at the end of the week anyway.
Exercise: I didn't do my squats & KB swings last night but I did them this morning! I realized that the things I do could be multiplied throughout a short session to make an actual work out session out of it, instead of just a few minutes, but right now I'm just trying to make it a regular habit.
The silver lining: I need a silver lining today, I'm not sad, but I'm just not happy. Today's silver lining is brought to you by the inexpensive hostel I found for our trip to DC next month, and the fact that I only had to pay a 10% deposit right now, so Boyfriend can probably pay the actual bill next month. Hoo-fucking-ray. I'm going a little crazy. Oh yes, and if my budgeting goes well for this month I am going to buy myself some moccasins. They should be good for all seasons and aren't too expensive. My only other non-essential expense for the month is going to be taking my brother to the movies this weekend.