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Thread: Anxiety, depression, laziness...Can the nameless wonder change? page 757

  1. #7561
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    RittenRemedy is offline Senior Member
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    Wow that is a super cool program. When I redid my barracks room, I used grid paper and the 12" square floor tiles as guides lol. I like the second one, and having the bed not against the wall really helps with making it. (OMG so OCD army...)

    I recently found a folder I got in basic training that has all my letters, including three from a guy who I now know to have been pretty badly mentally abusive to me. You know how at the time you sometimes don't realize it? It didn't help that he'd helped dig me out of a VERY abusive one, so comparatively... Still.

    I was really afraid of what might be in the letters, but actually, it was kind of interesting to read. Instead of making me sad or angry like I thought it would, it basically summarized the whole thing; "sorry I didn't pick up one of the only three phone calls you get to make in basic, here's a lame excuse, I love you and miss you!"

    I still have them; they're back in their box at my mom's house. I don't feel any need to keep them with me, but I also don't think I need to burn them with fire. It's past, and there's no denying it and no sense running from it. We run enough for PT as it is lol.


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  2. #7562
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    Floorplanner.com. A little limited for the free version, but good enough for me! As a kid, I'd draw out room rearrangements pretty regularly. Grid paper definitely makes it easier. I like rearranging furniture :P. It's hard to do that in apartments, you don't have a lot of options with the configuration of doorways and weirdly placed radiators.

    I still think I'd be afraid to read my old journals. I know thinking back that my college ex was not as supportive as a boyfriend should be (for me). He was kind, loving, but did not know how to support. We had basically a very caring, sexual friendship for 2 1/2 years. I did not get the kind of relationship care from him that I wanted and it took far too long to realize that. I would be sad, I think, to read my journal whinings back then, thinking I was doing it all wrong when he was just not the right person. I guess that is not something to be sad about really, but I do tend to blame myself in all possible situations


    WELL DAMMIT
    We need a new car
    Nearly $4k in repairs. Catalytic converter is cracked, exhaust manifold needs to be replaced, front tires are nearly worn through, rear tires are scalloped. Something else. Front brakes need replacing. The blower motor (for interior air) squeaks and would be expensive to replace.

    We're still going through with the 90k mile check-up and new fluids and stuff. At least some things will be better? We'll have to talk to our dads to see wha tthey think about possibly selling the Civic (for at least a LITTLE money) or if it's only good for scrap. I wonder if we could even get that $2k trade-in that the dealership (when we test drove a Prius last month) told us we could have. We're going to be looking at some pretty cheap cars to keep the monthly cost low
    Journal on depression/anxiety
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  3. #7563
    tomi's Avatar
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    oh - car issues suck! So sorry............ not good timing. Well, its never good timing to get this type of news. Hope you can find something good, but cheap.
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  4. #7564
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    I am REALLY grouchy this morning.

    None of our party-goers have said what they're bringing tomorrow. I made a list of things we need and nobody has said a thing. I posted on the event, "Sooooo is anyone bringing anything?" and one person asked what we need.I asked if they read the event description (where I listed it out) and they said, "I like for people to tell me specifically what to bring." Is it super childish of me to say, "Well then I guess you'll be hungry!" Whatever, I already did. This guy is 31! Our friends are 26+ years old! What is so hard about saying, "I'll bring a bag of chips and salsa!"

    Why is it that every time we have a party now, right before it, I want to cancel the whole thing? Too much stress right now. I am just waiting for Hulky to get up so we can figure out what we're doing this weekend.
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  5. #7565
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    Yes, that is frustrating. Do people ever show up empty handed?
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  6. #7566
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    Usually, they just bring booze. We got a few more people to say they're bringing stuff.

    I finished Hulky's cake this morning. Rolling the fondant was annoying, I messed up the first time and had to start over with powdered sugar underneath to keep it from sticking to the granite piece I was using (it was a neighbor's sink cut-out, my mom grabbed it to use for rolling things out on ). The cake might be a littler overcooked and I struggled with figuring out how to whip the ganache, but I think it'll be tasty. I'll be sure to get a picture.



    From the lakehouse last weekend I am happy to have a couple photos of me with a genuine smile!
    Journal on depression/anxiety
    Curing IBS-C with Vitamin C and magnesium citrate.

  7. #7567
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    cute picture
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  8. #7568
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    I miss the pull-up bar. It's down since people are coming over to view the apartment. According to Hulky, one person walked in and was commenting on how cute the place is. The landlady realized something and said, "This is actually their stuff." The potential tenant said, "Oh, I don't own anything!" I didn't know furnished apartments were a thing around here.

    Maybe I should work on push-ups this week so I'm doing something with my upper body? I can use the kettlebell for overhead presses and such too.

    My pelvic floor exercises (mostly stretches) are definitely helping. It's slow progress, but progress. Constipation makes it worse though (trying to make a conscious effort to relax my pelvis all the time) so I have been kind of overboard with various anti-constipation supplements =\. I woke up with a migraine this morning that I'm assuming is part sinus pressure (must be goldenrod season) and dehydration.

    I am starting to get nervous about the move.

    The party yesterday was nice. Very relaxed. There was some drama though. One friend always shows up late to EVERYTHING. We're talking 1-2 hr to parties (which is not a big deal because we're not usually waiting on him except when he was 2 hrs late to the engagement party and we were waiting on him to start our surprise wedding ceremony), 1+ hr late for group dinners (we should stop waiting for him and just order), etc. I have always been one to be on time or early. Hulky and I struggle to arrive late (usually end up on time) because our friends usually filter in during the first 40 min of a gathering. But this guy is always the last to arrive. His new girlfriend arrived well before him because she wanted to make a good impression. When he showed up, we were all like, "Yeah you're here!" and he starts taking off his shoes. Hulky and maybe someone else make a comment about his tardiness and he puts his shoes back on, says bye, and leaves. Queue confusion. He's kidding, right? Nope. Gf runs outside to see if he'll come back, but no, he spends the hour getting back to his apartment in Boston and then fumes for several hours. We convinced the gf to stay for a while because we were enjoying her company.

    They should break up. Before the gf left, we all talked about it a little. I focused on encouraging her to do what she feels is right, not what she feels is right for her bf. He was texting her non-stop asking for her to leave the party and be with his mopey ass. Dude needs to grow up. If he is hurt by our teasing, he needs to just say seriously, "Stop it, this is hurtful" and we'll cut it out (though Hulky said not if it affects us going out because we're waiting on him, which I mostly agree with). I told the gf I didn't want to draw parallels, but I've been in a relationship where the other person got butt-hurt over stuff and I would go be with them because I felt bad and they were fairly manipulative about their bad moods. It ended in flames and I am really glad that it did, it was not healthy. Unfortunately, our friend is doing something similar and Hulky and I feel that it is in the gf's best interest to move on. It's a shame because they seem like they have a lot of potential. Maybe they'll work it out, but they both definitely have some growing up to do.

    I texted the gf later and thanked her for coming etc. She said that the bf was feeling better, but a bit sad that nobody reached out to him. I had been thinking about it, so I sent a text saying, "I'm sorry you missed the party, I think we're all interested in clearing the air." That's as much as I'm willing to do without him actually telling us what's wrong.

    Oh my cake came out okay. One layer was definitely overcooked so it has a slightly burnt flavor, unfortunately. The ganache filling is great. The fondant doesn't taste bad, but it does leave black residue on everything. More than one slice and you'd probably have a black mouth. Hulky loved it, esp. the fish tail I sculpted out of fondant on top. He has an obsession with the biological term "narrow caudal peduncle".
    Last edited by namelesswonder; 08-18-2014 at 06:51 AM.
    Journal on depression/anxiety
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  9. #7569
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    Ow

    Something I ate this weekend resulted in a migraine and now some gnarly joint pain. Hands are pretty bad, mostly the left. Some left wrist pain too. I wonder if my knees will hurt later? Seems like my inflammation-based joint pain is usually in my hands now. Tylenol did nothing, aspirin worked for about 1 hr. I guess I'll have some ibuprofen soon.
    Journal on depression/anxiety
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  10. #7570
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    Sorry about the party drama. We have a couple in our family who do the same thing - she show up hours late for family gatherings, and then expect all the food to be brought back out so they can eat. Its rude. Nobody is willing to say anything to them about, not even their parents, but everyone gets mad about their behavior.

    Hope you feel better soon. Migraines are horrible.
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