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Thread: Anxiety, depression, laziness...Can the nameless wonder change? page 730

  1. #7291
    RittenRemedy's Avatar
    RittenRemedy is offline Senior Member
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    Hehe exactly why I'm not going to believe that alcohol could be "good" for it. It doesn't really seem to be better or worse than anything else I've tried, but I'm not rushing out to buy wine every week either. That and it's bloody expensive, and I buy a lot of suppliments these days lol...

  2. #7292
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    namelesswonder is offline Senior Member
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    Every day at this point is going to be a struggle. The next 3 weeks are supposed to be the hardest.

    I emailed my therapist this morning, I'll be going in Thursday morning. I want to check in for myself and ask if she knows of any male therapists (Hulky says he doesn't care male or female, but I think male might be easier? dunno) in the area that have a similar style as her. They clashed a little when doing couples therapy, but I think if he had his own therapist not shared with me, they would get along fine.

    I am going to try to get Hulky to agree to 3 sessions with a counselor. I will do whatever it takes to get him to those appointments. If he wants to continue past that point, I will obviously fully support it, but I think he needs some immediate help. Triage. Three sessions is usually enough to know if you like the counselor/therapist and if you want to stick with the process.

    My parents stopped by yesterday and dropped off some food and flowers for Hulky . They are really good about big stuff, not so much with little stuff when it comes to personal issues. Hulky was very grateful for their visit. I'm really glad they did that for him. They have a tenuous relationship with him at the best of times.

    Gut: I'm all slowed up. Not surprising after Friday night. I'm giving it some time before I resort to the Constipation Stop. Green tea today might do the trick.

    Itch: I got some information from a tumblr page on DIV . A midwife runs a page and a submitted an anonymous question about my condition. She sent me some suggestions and possible other diagnoses. I am going to resume the hydrocortisone suppositories that I have (and refill them) and go back to see my gyn maybe next week.

    Body: I trimmed most of the hedges around the apartment all on my own yesterday. I've never done that before. I was pretty tiring for my shoulders, but I feel okay today. I expect the soreness to set in later or tomorrow. I will need to do more this weekend, but I have plenty of time to recuperate.
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  3. #7293
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    A co-worker asked me for help with a personal computer issue today. Said she'd pay me. I turned her down because I helped a co-worker once w/ a personal computer and it was awkward and I didn't feel like I could charge her appropriately. Today, I directed her towards a program that would help and now she's trying to guide her brother through fixing everything and still asking me questions. I suck at politely tell her to F off. I don't know anyone else that could help her either. I'm just tired and don't want to deal with this, it's stressing me out so much.

    Time for a walk.
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  4. #7294
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    I usually charge people what I make hourly. It's cheaper for them and cash for me. If she doesn't like it she'll pay someone more at a business or find someone else free.


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    I find your lack of bacon disturbing.

  5. #7295
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    Quote Originally Posted by Blacksmith View Post
    I usually charge people what I make hourly. It's cheaper for them and cash for me. If she doesn't like it she'll pay someone more at a business or find someone else free.

    Sent from my iPhone using Marks Daily Apple Forum
    That's a good idea. Cheaper than if I was trying to figure out a flat rate, that's for sure. My pay rate is closer to a round number now than it was a couple of years ago, so that makes it easier to ask people too. I wonder how long it would have taken me to fix her situation (but I would have had to wait until after hours anyway). I am generally pretty fast with virus removal stuff, even including general tune-up stuff so I can work with the system easier.

    ----

    Is there anything legitimate about the "stages of grief"? I feel like Hulky is caught in the middle of all of them. He's had some anger and denial, but mostly just seems depressed.

    ----

    I'm thinking forward to my anniversary with Hulky (one year married), which is in just under two weeks. He might not be feeling up to baking a cake for us anymore, which means I'll do it. That's fine. Our anniversary is on a Sunday so I'll have time to do it. I was thinking of making up a mock proposal for him though. Plan something out, take him somewhere, whatever, and then ask him if he'll stay married to me . I REALLY want to buy him a new ring, but I'm not sure if he would wear it instead of his battered stainless steel ring. $20 tungsten ring from Amazon? Not like it would be a huge dip into savings . Anyway, if it did break, he'd still have his stainless steel ring.

    So what do I do for this proposal? It's gotta stay pretty cheap, which means nothing like rock climbing or dance lessons. Maybe I should look up a state park for us to wander/scramble around in. I think that would be good.
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  6. #7296
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    I found a couple of apartments for $275/mo less than we're paying right now. That's the lowest I've seen in this area that isn't a studio apartment (with two cats, we would probably murder everyone). I sent out an email, hoping we can view the place soon. Heat is included, on-site laundry, and a parking spot. One month's broker fee though.

    It's 66% of my monthly income, which is still not really affordable with only me working. We'd probably get denied with no employment lined up for Hulky, but it's worth a shot anyway. We could totally make it work if it weren't for my student loans.
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  7. #7297
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    Each person's grief process is different and each grief is a different process than the previous griefs. My advice would be (for what it's worth, totally an internet stranger here, but there), don't try to carry it for him or otherwise mitigate it. There will be tides, try to float on them without engaging with them. He was already dealing with a lot and you were already trying to carry him - let him stand on his own feet. To return to my watery metaphors, it is scary to watch someone you love flounder, but it is scarier to be the person who always requires saving. Let him work it out by himself (which isn't to say withdraw your love or care).
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  8. #7298
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    I'm just not sure how to let him flounder without letting him drown. I am afraid he will drown. He missed a test that's worth 1/4 of his grade on Friday, is supposed to make it up Wednesday, but realistically? He's in no place to go back to class or pass this exam.

    Hair: I made it 5 days before I felt like I really needed to wash my hair. Yay for going "shamphree". 1 TB of baking soda in pre-boiled water, scrub into scalp & rinse, followed by dipping the ends of my hair in 1 TB of ACV in pre-boiled water, rinse lightly.
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  9. #7299
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    Quote Originally Posted by namelesswonder View Post
    I'm just not sure how to let him flounder without letting him drown. I am afraid he will drown.
    Yep. I know. But you have to let him so that he can learn how to save himself.
    My journal: http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum/thread60211.html Into RPG table top games? Check out FateStorm and (in development) Vanguard! 3D printed miniatures for sci-fi RPGs.

  10. #7300
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    Not sure why I'm so slow in the mornings right now. I usually would have left for work ten minutes ago.

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