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Thread: Anxiety, depression, laziness...Can the nameless wonder change? page 698

  1. #6971
    namelesswonder's Avatar
    namelesswonder is online now Senior Member
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    Yeah, I'm kind of standing (squatting as I get to the bottom) on a foot stool right now. Working from a dead hang was not getting me far. This way I feel like I'm making progress even if it's just as slow.

    I am afraid of failing. What happens if I fail? Nothing. I just can't do a pull-up or chin-up. I like being able to achieve things, but if something seems too new, foreign, or difficult, I tend to avoid setting goals. Is a chin-up from a dead hang by September unreasonable? I don't know. I guess I have to find out by working hard to get there. This should not be as terrifying as it is.
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  2. #6972
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    Grumble. I have had a breakout of pimples on my chin for a couple of weeks now. They are VERY slowly going away. I think it's time to do a couple of baking soda scrubs this week.

    Hulky hadn't shaved or had his hair cut since London (two months). He finally shaved off the sides of the beard into a goatee thing last night. I trimmed it for him (no idea what I'm doing, but it looks okay). I'm not sure how I feel about it. I think I'd like him clean-shaven for our friends' wedding on June 1st. He is so ready for a haircut but keeps resisting having me do it at home when I offer. I don't understand why.
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  3. #6973
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    You mentioned you had idea what you were doing trimming the beard. That could be it.

    Just sayin'.


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    I find your lack of bacon disturbing.

  4. #6974
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    If bananas are okay, are plantains? I sort of quit FODMAPS when I started reintroducing fermentables and RS as, well, they're Fermentable.

    Mmm I wish the commissary would carry plantains again. I was thinking they must be out of season, but that's kind of silly when we've had asperagus, melons, and fresh strawberries all winter.

  5. #6975
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    I've cut Hulky's hair loads of times before and it's come out fine . We're just talking a buzzcut anyway. He's just being non-committal about everything (thanks, depression).

    Plantains are okay (low FODMAP), I'm pretty sure. I'm not the biggest fan, but I think I just need to learn how to prepare them better. I like them at restaurants, just not anything I try at home.

    I might do FODMAPs plus fermentables just to see what happens.

    Ooooo I forgot to mention that a group of our friends are planning on doing a two-night camping trip sometime this summer. I've never really gone camping before, but I'm excited. Only worried about what to eat. I will probably focus on bringing food for myself and everyone else can do whatever they want. My big warped cast iron pan might actually be good to bring a long for people to use on a fire (can't use it on my glass stovetop). Hulky is not really into camping ("why rough it like you're poor?") but he's down for the hiking & swimming. I just hope they plan it for a weekend that works for us. We don't know yet when Hulky will have to spend that week in Maine.
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  6. #6976
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    OOOO I miss camping! I guess being not unpoor myself, I think camping is awesome. Especailly with a cast iron pan in the fire to cook on.

  7. #6977
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    I think a chin-up by September is a reasonable goal. I would use the stool to help for a while then just try jumping up and lowering yourself. At first you may not be able to lower yourself very slowly but if you keep it up you'll get there! I'm really a weakling and I'm pretty sure I'll be able to do it. The nice thing about jumping up for a chin-up is that you can do it whenever you want, no need to drag a stool over, for me that was another reason not to practice.
    Life is death. We all take turns. It's sacred to eat during our turn and be eaten when our turn is over. RichMahogany.

  8. #6978
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    Last night was my first chin-up workout. 3 x 3? 3 sets of 3 reps? I don't know how to do this workout thing. Anyway, I did 3 reps this morning and my armpits are sore haha. I should have baby biceps pretty quickly. Maybe I should take some pictures.

    I biked this morning and made good time. By the time I got into my office's parking lot, I wasn't even thinking about bicycling. I made pretty good time, but sadly couldn't use my RunKeeper app. The stupid thing keeps not detecting any GPS signal. I'm rebooting my phone now so it will hopefully work on the way home.

    I wanted some "treats" so last night I got gluten-free bagels and a gluten-free frozen burrito. I toasted a bagel after I got to work this morning and put Trader Joe's Clarified Butter on it. I over-toasted it so it got really crumbly, but it sure was bagel-y. The burrito is my lunch (no dairy or soy either, yay).

    I woke up early this morning with gut pain, in the lower right side of my abdomen. It is where that valve connects the small and large intestine, I'm pretty sure. It was definitely gas pain, but it felt so pressured that I didn't feel like I could safely massage it. That was a bit frightening. I have no idea how much mag citrate to take to keep things moving. I took 400 mg before bed last night and 200 mg with breakfast. I'll take another 200 mg with lunch and dinner, but I think I need more than that.

    I am SO frustrated this morning. Hulky and I talked yesterday and I told him he needs to either see his doctor about a medication adjustment or start seeing a therapist. Ideally, he'd do both, but he wants to do neither so it's one or the other. I also said he could try the supplements I've taken for depression, but he can't take those at the same time as the prescription. This morning, he got frustrated because I didn't feed Pumpkin (I told him yesterday I won't be feeding her anymore??) and shut off his phone and probably isn't checking email anymore. I just want to tell him to grow the fuck up, but I can't. It's the depression talking and I HATE IT. Willpower is not (usually) enough to get through depression and he has no willpower right now.

    He HAS to go to the community college and sign up today (it's probably going to rain all next week so I'll need to drive to work and he's unlikely to spend the hr on the train getting to the school). I can't take a day off to take him before the class starts. He has to register before May 30th. It looks like the admissions office is open until 7 PM today and tomorrow so maybe we can just drive in traffic right after work. That's going to be GREAT for his mood (sarcasm, he's miserable in traffic).

    I am trying to consider that my response right now might be hormonal. I'm within the range of PMS week. I have not been taking Progest-E because I wanted to see if I'd be okay without it (also not to fuck up my period since it might occur over June 1st), but maybe I should. Last month was just a drop per day and that seemed to work fine, but I still have to allow for a few days to get my period once I stop the drops.
    Journal on depression/anxiety
    Currently trying to figure out WTF to eat (for IBS-C).

  9. #6979
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    I'm exhausted and miserable. Why am I so tired now when I felt fine this morning? I just want today to be over.

    Is the forum being slow for anybody else? Seems like they might be updating the software. My post box looks different.
    Journal on depression/anxiety
    Currently trying to figure out WTF to eat (for IBS-C).

  10. #6980
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    It is extremely slow!! I even re-booted thinking it was my computer! I wish they would put up a notice when they are doing things that will slow the system down.

    Plantains: slice on the diagonal and fry in butter or ghee. You can sprinkle with cinnamon, nutmeg, cloves or a combination. Serve hot!

    I'm sorry Hulky is going through this depression. It makes it so hard to face the smallest of life's demands. This puts a lot of pressure on you, huh? Being a caregiver is hard work, but add in your own hormonal stuff and it just muddies the water even more. Remember that you can't DO for Hulky - if he chooses to not go to the CC to get signed up for classes he will have to face the consequences. Yes, it will effect you, but it is still on his shoulders. It sounds you are in a very difficult place with him. You can't do it all for him - yet he doesn't seem to want to do much on his own. Depression is so difficult to deal with - both for the person experiencing it and for the people around them. There isn't an easy answer. At the very core of the way out of a depression is the need for determination and drive. Meds can only do so much. I'm guessing Hulky needs an adjustment to his meds or he needs to get off them completely and go with a more natural approach. If he is still so down and unmotivated then what he's taking isn't working for him. I'd say a trip to the doc is needed. Even if you have to pay part of the costs since he's not double covered right now.

    Sorry, Tasha............ you're in a tough place for sure!
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