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Thread: Anxiety, depression, laziness...Can the nameless wonder change? page 678

  1. #6771
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    The glasses cost was totally reasonable. VSP is some good eyeball insurance, I guess! The copays are all quite low. I went for anti-reflective and polycarbonate, which is kind of needed for the rimless design anyway. The doc is hoping they'll be in next Tuesday, but he's going away for a week on Wednesday so there's a chance I might not get them for a couple of weeks. Oh well, no real hurry, my prescription didn't change that much.
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  2. #6772
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    We had to get Brady glasses. All told, the glasses and Brad's contacts cost $300... Brady has lost his glasses already. We just got them in February... :/
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    SW: 221 | CW: 182 | LPW: 166 | UGW: 140 (80 lbs loss)




  3. #6773
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    My new specs including frames & lenses should be under $150. That's the cheapest I've ever paid for glasses (though I think this is the first pair I've actually bought for myself, I've seen the pricetag on others). Coastal would have been cheaper, but this way I have someone I can bug in person if something goes wrong. I'm excited to show you guys the new frames. I'm feeling a bit hesitant about my choice, but I really never feel 100% certain of anything, so I decided to just take the risk.

    I am still terribly anxious about Hulky and his school situation. He hasn't been speaking to me much the past couple of days. I don't feel like I can talk to him right now either. I am very resentful and I know that's bad, but I don't know what I can do about it. Add to this my anxiety about my certification exam on Monday...oh boy. I made a ton of flash cards yesterday and they are definitely helping, despite my grumbling the whole time about how much I hate studying. I can't even ask Hulky what he's doing about his schoolwork. I tried to ask if he had a plan to approach the rest of his work and he said, "You're not allowed to be involved in my school stuff anymore." All I could say was, "That's not what I said yesterday..." and then he didn't talk to me for a couple of hours. I kind of want to wring his neck...with love. I know the anxiety is really getting him down and I don't know what else I can do about it. I think he just needs a break. So do I.

    Some friends are going out drinking tonight. At first I thought, sure, that'll be a nice stress relief! But I don't want to deal with the anxiety of Hulky drinking. I'll be less anxious if I stay home. I'm mad that he immediately said he'd go out after we JUST talked about not ordering out/eating out anymore this month. We've ordered out too many times, mostly because Hulky has felt unable to prepare himself any food. I ordered dinner a couple of times because I needed a break from cooking. And now he wants to spend money on booze. So I backed out, saying I need to study since I don't feel ready for my exam on Monday. I'll study for a couple of hours tonight, at least, watch some Once Upon A Time, and hang with the cats. Then I'll take a couple of Benadryl and try to pass out early.

    For my allergies, I'd been taking only 1 Benadryl at night, but I realized that the dose is actually 1-2 for adults. I took 2 last night and it made me stupid-sleepy within 30 minutes. I slept solidly, but felt pretty blah this morning. Not groggy, just unmotivated. That could just be my mood. I hope the sleepy affect of the Benadryl wears off eventually (I've never taken it long enough for that to happen). It'd be helpful to be able to take it during the day.

    Snuggle Pumpkin is continuing to warm up to us. She hangs out on the bed now during the day, which she avoided before. She stays on it while we're in the room and lets us pet her. She's very roley poley when she has the space for it . Now that I can actually pet her body, I can feel that she is VERY thin. I'm going to get her some dry food so we can plump her up a bit, in addition to the wet food. I'm thinking about putting in some raw meat, but that will require some planning on my part. I need more jars/containers so I can freeze more raw portions at a time.

    TQP reminded me that I could try the colostrum powder I have for my female-itch problems. If the DIV is autoimmune, I imagine colostrum, which is good for immunity, could help (taken internally, not inserted, that would be beyond weird). I'm almost out of the powder, since I've been using it for Fae (she was refusing to eat the raw food when she could smell Pumpkin's wet food), so I might have to wait until next month to get more.
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  4. #6774
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    I like how my hair is growing out, I think I'll just trim the longest bit at the back myself and not spend money on a haircut right now.

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  5. #6775
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    I'm gonna write myself something happy today since I'm feeling down.

    In my family, Easter is called Pascha (pahs-kah). I grew up Orthodox Christian, attending church nearly every Sunday as far as I remember. Since Eastern churches follow a different calendar than Western churches, I often got to skip school on Good Friday (Friday before Easter) and Bright Monday (Monday after Easter), when they wouldn't coincide with the other calendar. On Good Friday, the younger kids get to do craft activities for most of the day in the big hall downstairs (the "retreat"). In the afternoon, there's a talk time for the kids with the priest upstairs in the sanctuary (where everybody sits in the actual hall of the church, where liturgy [equivalent to Catholic mass] takes place). Some of the kids would go home after that, but because my parents were involved in other preparations for the weekend, we always stayed. We usually went out to dinner with other people at the church, to a nearby seafood restaurant, and would come back afterwards for an evening church service. When I got older and was still attending, I helped my mom out with the kids' crafts (she organized most of that), and then helped out upstairs to decorate various things with flowers rather than participate in the retreat.

    Only once did I participate in the all-night vigil. The teen group at the church takes turns reading from the gospel all night long. After some amount of time, the next person comes to tap the reader on the shoulder and pick up where they left off. I slept uncomfortably on a pew or in a sleeping bag on the floor between pews for a bit, but I don't remember getting much sleep that night. My mom picked us up early in the morning after reading a bit herself, and we had time to shower and get dressed for Holy Saturday.

    On Holy Saturday, the only parts that mattered to me were: my dad reading the epistle and the flower throwing. As far back as I can remember, he's the one who read the epistle on Holy Saturday, and he always does it in this Russian style.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PsWG7d0vREE
    Listening to it now brings tears to my eyes. There's just something so familiar and precious about it. My parents' church now broadcasts the services all throughout holy week, so I might tune in to hear it tomorrow.

    Immediately after the epistle is read, everyone behind the iconostasis (the wall of icons that separates the altar area from where the people of the congregation are seated) emerges and the priest tosses flower petals and leaves upon the congregation as they process around the nave of the church. It was always such a happy moment when they timed it just right to the end of the epistle. The lag between the last note and the beginning of the procession was always frustrating when it went on too long, because we all knew what was coming. After the flower matter was distributed, kids would always scoop up clumps and toss them around a bit, until their parents got them to stop. We always took a handful to sprinkle on the dining room table, and made sure a petal would stay on my dad's bald head for the rest of the service.

    After a restful afternoon, we would try to nap before the midnight Easter service. In other churches of other denominations of Christianity, they called it "midnight" but it was more like 6 PM. The service went through or up to midnight for us. I think in more recent years, they dropped back the starting time to 9 PM to make it easier for the parents that still had to wake up early for their kids who had not attended. I don't remember at what age I started attending, but I do remember falling asleep on the pews on more than one occasion. My favorite parts of that service: seeing all the Easter baskets up by the altar to be blessed, having the whole nave lit only by candlelight and emergency Exit signs, and going outside with the whole congregation and choir as the priest reenacts Jesus going to hell and insisted that the devil open the doors. My godfather voiced the devil for that segment on more than one occasion . After the service, it was time to go downstairs and eat in the hall with friends and family to celebrate. There was always a lot of food, a fair amount of booze, and plenty of hard boiled eggs to crack.

    I went back to the Easter midnight service & celebration a few times when I was older. It was still fun to eat lots of food, wandering from table to table, visiting people I've known most of my life. I didn't go long enough to be able to drink with any of them, which is a bit of a shame since I'm sure that would have been fun.


    My sister, brother, and I with my godfather, in 2012 I think. I wish the picture hadn't come out so blurry! I know I at least got a buzz that year, but I don't think I got drunk. My dad gets drunk every year and starts singing a song about camels.

    On Easter, my family has an open house for friends from church to attend. As a kid, we always looked forward to our good friends Carolyn & Matt coming down. It got harder and harder for us to see each other regularly as we started going on to college, getting married, etc. I don't remember the last time that all four of us were there together. In the past few years, I've had the joyous opportunity to sample my dad's pepper vodka (made with hot peppers soaked in vodka and then strained out) and lemon vodka (replace the hot peppers w/ lemon, same idea). I had a bad experience at the open house a couple of years ago that I'm sure none of you remember. My dad's friend said something insulting about me because my tattoo and my dad backed him up. I never really talked to him about it. He definitely didn't realize that I would find it insulting, but it hurt nonetheless. I really can't pass up the free delicious food though so I still go every year. It's a bit odd now because I don't remember so many of the people and they all know who I am.

    It's not the same anymore. I don't have any Easter traditions of my own that I'd like to make, or none that I can think of yet. Candy and the Easter Bunny were never a big part of my Easter experience and it's not something I really care to pick up. Pascha time makes me happy anyway, even if I'm not celebrating in the same way anymore.
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  6. #6776
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    Cool look at a different Easter celebration. I was raised Roman Catholic, so ours is equally traditional and ceremonial just different. Ours start on Palm Sunday (Sunday before Easter) when we meet outside the church (even in the rain!) and carry palm leaves inside. Good Friday we don't have mass, but we do a stations of the cross which is very ritualized. Easter mass is a huge deal with lots of talking, baptisms, and usually a big fancy brunch after.

    Yay on kitteh! Good luck with your cert!

  7. #6777
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    Palm Sunday never made a big impression me except for the cool palm weaving some people did. Stations of the cross is part of all that, but I don't remember exactly what that is. I never really learned the actual structure to the services, it just seemed familiar or not.

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  8. #6778
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    Oh and i got 0 studying done yesterday. I watched Young justice with Fae and went to bed fairly early. Hulky crashed at a friend's house.

    Now i am reading my flash cards over and over, then I'll make food. Then I'll read the flash cards again and some practice questions. I hope to do several 2 hr studying blocks today.

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  9. #6779
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    Awww yisss I caught the tail end of my dad's epistle reading. He sounded great, didn't start off too high and it sounds like he hasn't been sick this year (often gets sick during holy week). They got the flower throwing timing perfect, so the priest came out with the flowers right as my dad finished. Gave me the warm & fuzzies.

    Back to studying .
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  10. #6780
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    Earlier this week my gyn reminded me that the DIV is an autoimmune thing. Since it appears that the probiotics helping was a fluke (I am itchy again), I am still at square 1 after all. I believe any treatment I do directly to the affected area is only going to treat the symptoms. I am feeling hopeless about this...

    I am wondering if I should embark on a 30-day autoimmune paleo diet. It's hard to face a stricter diet when I've been enjoying one that is fairly free of restrictions lately. No eggs?! No potatoes?! I guess I could go back to sweet potatoes and that wouldn't be too awful, though they are lacking in resistant starch. If I'm going to try this, I need to do a lot of prepping, but now is not a good time. Maybe after my certification exams are over.

    I didn't do nearly as much studying yesterday as I intended to. I was exhausted all day. Hulky and I spent some time vegging together. I will try to read through the flash cards I made a few times today, but I'm feeling pretty hopeless about the exam tomorrow morning too.
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