Page 675 of 824 FirstFirst ... 175575625665673674675676677685725775 ... LastLast
Results 6,741 to 6,750 of 8234

Thread: Anxiety, depression, laziness...Can the nameless wonder change? page 675

  1. #6741
    namelesswonder's Avatar
    namelesswonder is online now Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jul 2011
    Location
    MA, USA
    Posts
    12,257
    Shop Now
    If he re-took the course next year, we'd have to pay for it and it would be MUCH more than $3k. $3k is only the cost for a summer course.

    Edit: actually maybe not. But he'd have to fail it this time around so we wouldn't be financially responsible to pay back the VA. I don't know. We'll have to talk about it.
    Journal
    Current interests - CrossFit

  2. #6742
    jenn26point2's Avatar
    jenn26point2 is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2012
    Location
    Iowa
    Posts
    7,536
    Withdrawing won't affect his GPA, but failing will... then again, I was told that retaking a failed course offsets the hit the failed course provides, but I don't know how that's possible b/c those three credits from the failed course don't disappear... not that his GPA really matters for much of anything - unless of course he wants a career in his field of study - in which case it matters. I just applied for two internships through the Arsenal and they asked about my freaking HIGH SCHOOL GPA, which is 16 years old... how could that even matter at this point?

    Anyhow... I say he should opt for failing... take his GPA hit. Then retake the course whenever and wherever the school will allow him to take it. Be prepared for the school to say no to him taking it elsewhere. If they let him, they have to let everyone, ya know?

    Applying for student loans is easy... The FAFSA is a giant pain in the ass b/c it's long and requires you to dig up so much danged information, but it's not impossible to do and since he's been living on his own "independently" for over a year, he'll only need his (and your) tax info for last year to apply, rather than needing to dig up his parents' too. I remember doing my FAFSA when I returned to school - annoying but so worth it in the end when I received that piece of paper that said I was done with school. This is also how they would determine if you're eligible for pell grants (I was not) or other grants. Scholarships can be found on the web pretty easily. I can't remember the name of the site I went to, but if I run across it, I'll share it.
    Primal since March 5, 2012
    SW: 221 | CW: 182 | LPW: 166 | UGW: 140 (80 lbs loss)




  3. #6743
    namelesswonder's Avatar
    namelesswonder is online now Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jul 2011
    Location
    MA, USA
    Posts
    12,257
    It's his last semester, so I think they might make an exception to transfer credits. They only allow it per-basis anyway.

    I think failing that course and finishing the others as Incompletes (finishing them over the summer) would be best too.

    *If* it's less than $5k (looks like it might be), with our income, we could probably qualify quite well to get a single course covered next Spring. We'd have to make sure we could afford rent while he takes that course, though, because the class schedule would probably not allow for a full-time job.
    Journal
    Current interests - CrossFit

  4. #6744
    jenn26point2's Avatar
    jenn26point2 is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2012
    Location
    Iowa
    Posts
    7,536
    Best of luck to ya. I hope it all works out.
    Primal since March 5, 2012
    SW: 221 | CW: 182 | LPW: 166 | UGW: 140 (80 lbs loss)




  5. #6745
    namelesswonder's Avatar
    namelesswonder is online now Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jul 2011
    Location
    MA, USA
    Posts
    12,257
    We didn't get to talk much about school stuff yesterday. Hulky was too stressed out from earlier. I sent him the draft email that I'd taken notes in when talking to his dean, so he has most of the info. I think he wants to withdraw so it doesn't affect his GPA. We need to move quickly to find a summer course and try to get it approved. I really need him to do some legwork on this.

    Something my therapist has told me over and over keeps coming up in my head. We cannot MAKE people feel or do anything. How they feel and act is up to them, and to an extent it is a CHOICE. If I say something and Hulky gets upset, I did not MAKE him upset. His response comes from within. My therapist tells me that I have to learn how to sit with the uncomfortable feelings and choose how to act on them. I can react to reflect how I'm feeling, or I can take a moment, breathe, and react in a calmer manner. That kind of technique is how you eventually rid yourself of some kinds of anxiety. It's a self-training process. This is exactly what Hulky needs to learn, but it's not something I can teach him. I think he really needs to start seeing a counselor close to the house, weekly.

    I was so stressed yesterday that I had a hard time not crying. I bonked my head on the back of the couch when I say down too quickly and started laughing, but then started crying. I calmed myself in a few moments with some deep breaths, watched some Futurama with Hulky, and then got about the rest of my evening. I'm not sure how much of this I can handle. I don't know what happens when I have nothing else to give. It's absurdly hard trying to support him while I am also trying to support myself and study for these certification exams. I'm so worried that I'll fail and have to pay for them again.

    I ate junk for dinner last night. Beyond caring right now. At least it was food.
    Journal
    Current interests - CrossFit

  6. #6746
    RittenRemedy's Avatar
    RittenRemedy is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2012
    Location
    Korea
    Posts
    2,878
    Yipes money woes all around... One aren't as bad though, just really annoying because I did everything I can to prevent it including suiting a pay inquiry and getting the NCOIC of my *work (not the same as company, so not even my chain of command)* involved. Now I owe the army $3000. Not happy about that, but luckily I don't drink through every paycheck. It'll just be ground beef and potentially freegan chicken for a bit for me.

    I hope things work out for you and Hulky. Sounds like life has had him down as long as I've followed your journal. Hope he'll find some balance and strength somewhere.

  7. #6747
    Zanna's Avatar
    Zanna is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2012
    Location
    New Hampshire
    Posts
    737
    It sounds like you are under an enormous amount of pressure. How much school does Hulky have left? It's hard to make things happen if you are taking all of the responsibility on yourself and he doesn't have it in him to contribute. Just curious - what happens if Hulky just isn't able to do the work needed to get through school right now or for the next several months? You can't do everything for him, especially if you are sacrificing your own ability to move forward with your certifications and potential earning power. Can he take a year off from the pressures of school and just work, or will he lose funding for school if that happens? I'm so sorry you have to carry that much weight on your shoulders.

  8. #6748
    namelesswonder's Avatar
    namelesswonder is online now Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jul 2011
    Location
    MA, USA
    Posts
    12,257
    This is his last semester. He is out of benefits from the GI Bill to pay for any more school. He actually took a year off before this current school year from being burnt out. He really just needs to finish this in whatever way he can ASAP.

    If he took a leave of absence, he'd have to re-take the entire semester next year. Given our relatively low income, we'd qualify for a good amount of financial assistance, I think, but that might also mean a lot more in loans (on top of my own existing student loans).
    Journal
    Current interests - CrossFit

  9. #6749
    Zanna's Avatar
    Zanna is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2012
    Location
    New Hampshire
    Posts
    737
    Oh, that changes how I was looking at this. So if he knuckled down and just got a bunch of work done, he would be all set because he's almost done. Gosh, that must be incredibly frustrating to try and balance the empathetic, supportive side with the "you really need to get it done" side.

    Do you think he has anxiety about actually finishing up school and having to move on to the next phase? One of my sons routinely digs himself giant holes at school, with missing assignments and and hiding from the consequences. He is paying for it this semester because as a freshman in high school, teachers are finally expecting him to meet deadlines. They gave him some 2nd and 3rd chances, then drew the line. So he actually failed a class this semester and got poor grades in another subject. It wasn't until he failed that he took it seriously and it makes me want to rip my hair out, because I've been trying and trying to just have him finish his goddamn homework! There are no issues if you simply pass your assignments in on time. But he has this thing where he goes into total avoidance mode when the hole gets too deep. It's like he just gives up and I'm shouting into the wind and he is giving me lip service to shut me up in return. It's so frustrating because he needs to learn to be responsible for getting things done by himself but I also don't want him to fail.

  10. #6750
    namelesswonder's Avatar
    namelesswonder is online now Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jul 2011
    Location
    MA, USA
    Posts
    12,257
    Primal Blueprint Expert Certification
    He really really wants to be done with school. He was in the Army before college and misses being out and working. School feels really useless to him, which I completely understand. It was different for me because living on/near campus and taking classes was freeing in a way. I got to live "off on my own" for the first time. I'd love to go back to that rather than work the same job every day.

    Yeah, catching up on school needs to be like a full-time job for him right now. He has 2 weeks to make a final presentation for one class & submit it (don't think that will take long), meet the Incomplete requirements for another, and figure out WTF he's doing about the Physics class since he apparently won't be able to meet the Incomplete requirements for it. There's a 1 credit class too, but he doesn't have to start that until after the semester is over, but he DOES have to talk to that prof about it and start something.

    I did what your son did all the time in school. I think Hulky is kind of doing that as well. It seems too hard to face the anxiety and so you avoid it, but the only way to get past it is to push through. He really does have to figure it out for himself, but in the meantime, I'm sitting right next to him trying to find a balance between shoving his face into his textbooks and soothingly patting his back.
    Journal
    Current interests - CrossFit

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •