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Thread: Anxiety, depression, laziness...Can the nameless wonder change? page 674

  1. #6731
    Pebbles67's Avatar
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    So sorry for Hulky and your stress as his wife.

  2. #6732
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    It seems like he's having a sort of "performance" anxiety thing happening. He is okay with social stuff - but gets all worked up when having to face his lack of performing or completing his expectations where school is the focus. This might sound weird - but was he ever "shamed" as a child for not doing what was expected of him??? Where one or both parents hard on him and made him feel shameful for not meeting up to their expectations?? Or maybe in school did he have a particularly tough teacher?

    Its obviously not a generalized anxiety issue since he's only having trouble facing the school related stuff. I just think there must be a root cause for this as it seems to make no sense (at least from my limited point of view). If you can find the root cause (if there is one) it might help him work through this current anxiety. Just have to help him see that the circumstances are not related and he doesn't need to fear facing this situation head on. Help him see that by tackling the school issues he will be stronger and the former situation will no longer control him.
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  3. #6733
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  4. #6734
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    so sorry.

  5. #6735
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    well - at least you have more answers and a little better idea of what direction you need to go. Sorry it wasn't better news.
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  6. #6736
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    what about taking a student loan? Not due til 6 months after his last class is completed (unless he fails to go at least part time), and the payments are reasonable. You said the class is $3,000? The payment would be reasonable. I have $50,000 in loans and only pay $256 a month - of course, that's for 20 years, but a $3k loan would not require 20 years to pay it off... Additionally, $3k over 3 years is only $1k plus interest a year, so less than $100 a month... That's less than the Civic payment, right?

    So he doesn't graduate "on time"... no shame in that. Just do what you have to do to meet the requirements and then bust outta there.

    As far as taking it at another college, most schools require 1 year of attendance and 12 credits taken at their school before they allow graduation from their school. Might be best to just retake the class next spring where he's at now and get a job over the summer/fall.
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  7. #6737
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    or a scholarship/pell grant...
    Primal since March 5, 2012
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  8. #6738
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  9. #6739
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  10. #6740
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    Withdrawing won't affect his GPA, but failing will... then again, I was told that retaking a failed course offsets the hit the failed course provides, but I don't know how that's possible b/c those three credits from the failed course don't disappear... not that his GPA really matters for much of anything - unless of course he wants a career in his field of study - in which case it matters. I just applied for two internships through the Arsenal and they asked about my freaking HIGH SCHOOL GPA, which is 16 years old... how could that even matter at this point?

    Anyhow... I say he should opt for failing... take his GPA hit. Then retake the course whenever and wherever the school will allow him to take it. Be prepared for the school to say no to him taking it elsewhere. If they let him, they have to let everyone, ya know?

    Applying for student loans is easy... The FAFSA is a giant pain in the ass b/c it's long and requires you to dig up so much danged information, but it's not impossible to do and since he's been living on his own "independently" for over a year, he'll only need his (and your) tax info for last year to apply, rather than needing to dig up his parents' too. I remember doing my FAFSA when I returned to school - annoying but so worth it in the end when I received that piece of paper that said I was done with school. This is also how they would determine if you're eligible for pell grants (I was not) or other grants. Scholarships can be found on the web pretty easily. I can't remember the name of the site I went to, but if I run across it, I'll share it.
    Primal since March 5, 2012
    SW: 221 | CW: 204 | LPW: 166 | UGW: 140 (80 lbs loss)




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