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Thread: Anxiety, depression, laziness...Can the nameless wonder change?

  1. #6721
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    or a scholarship/pell grant...
    Primal since March 5, 2012
    SW: 221 | CW: 204 | LPW: 166 | UGW: 140 (80 lbs loss)




  2. #6722
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    Last edited by namelesswonder; 03-30-2015 at 06:13 AM.
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  3. #6723
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  4. #6724
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    Withdrawing won't affect his GPA, but failing will... then again, I was told that retaking a failed course offsets the hit the failed course provides, but I don't know how that's possible b/c those three credits from the failed course don't disappear... not that his GPA really matters for much of anything - unless of course he wants a career in his field of study - in which case it matters. I just applied for two internships through the Arsenal and they asked about my freaking HIGH SCHOOL GPA, which is 16 years old... how could that even matter at this point?

    Anyhow... I say he should opt for failing... take his GPA hit. Then retake the course whenever and wherever the school will allow him to take it. Be prepared for the school to say no to him taking it elsewhere. If they let him, they have to let everyone, ya know?

    Applying for student loans is easy... The FAFSA is a giant pain in the ass b/c it's long and requires you to dig up so much danged information, but it's not impossible to do and since he's been living on his own "independently" for over a year, he'll only need his (and your) tax info for last year to apply, rather than needing to dig up his parents' too. I remember doing my FAFSA when I returned to school - annoying but so worth it in the end when I received that piece of paper that said I was done with school. This is also how they would determine if you're eligible for pell grants (I was not) or other grants. Scholarships can be found on the web pretty easily. I can't remember the name of the site I went to, but if I run across it, I'll share it.
    Primal since March 5, 2012
    SW: 221 | CW: 204 | LPW: 166 | UGW: 140 (80 lbs loss)




  5. #6725
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    Last edited by namelesswonder; 03-30-2015 at 06:13 AM.
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  6. #6726
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    Best of luck to ya. I hope it all works out.
    Primal since March 5, 2012
    SW: 221 | CW: 204 | LPW: 166 | UGW: 140 (80 lbs loss)




  7. #6727
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    Something my therapist has told me over and over keeps coming up in my head. We cannot MAKE people feel or do anything. How they feel and act is up to them, and to an extent it is a CHOICE. If I say something and Hulky gets upset, I did not MAKE him upset. His response comes from within. My therapist tells me that I have to learn how to sit with the uncomfortable feelings and choose how to act on them. I can react to reflect how I'm feeling, or I can take a moment, breathe, and react in a calmer manner. That kind of technique is how you eventually rid yourself of some kinds of anxiety. It's a self-training process.

    I was so stressed yesterday that I had a hard time not crying. I bonked my head on the back of the couch when I say down too quickly and started laughing, but then started crying. I calmed myself in a few moments with some deep breaths, watched some Futurama with Hulky, and then got about the rest of my evening. I'm not sure how much of this I can handle. I don't know what happens when I have nothing else to give. It's absurdly hard trying to support him while I am also trying to support myself and study for these certification exams. I'm so worried that I'll fail and have to pay for them again.

    I ate junk for dinner last night. Beyond caring right now. At least it was food.
    Last edited by namelesswonder; 03-30-2015 at 06:14 AM.
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  8. #6728
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    Yipes money woes all around... One aren't as bad though, just really annoying because I did everything I can to prevent it including suiting a pay inquiry and getting the NCOIC of my *work (not the same as company, so not even my chain of command)* involved. Now I owe the army $3000. Not happy about that, but luckily I don't drink through every paycheck. It'll just be ground beef and potentially freegan chicken for a bit for me.

    I hope things work out for you and Hulky. Sounds like life has had him down as long as I've followed your journal. Hope he'll find some balance and strength somewhere.

  9. #6729
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    It sounds like you are under an enormous amount of pressure. How much school does Hulky have left? It's hard to make things happen if you are taking all of the responsibility on yourself and he doesn't have it in him to contribute. Just curious - what happens if Hulky just isn't able to do the work needed to get through school right now or for the next several months? You can't do everything for him, especially if you are sacrificing your own ability to move forward with your certifications and potential earning power. Can he take a year off from the pressures of school and just work, or will he lose funding for school if that happens? I'm so sorry you have to carry that much weight on your shoulders.

  10. #6730
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    Last edited by namelesswonder; 03-30-2015 at 06:14 AM.
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