Page 613 of 933 FirstFirst ... 113513563603611612613614615623663713 ... LastLast
Results 6,121 to 6,130 of 9328

Thread: Anxiety, depression, laziness...Can the nameless wonder change?

  1. #6121
    Join Date
    Jul 2011
    Location
    MA, USA
    Posts
    13,224
    Shop Now
    I just wrote out some thoughts on feeling trapped and erased it. I felt like I got it out. I just wish money was less of a concern right now and that we could know for sure that moving was an option later this year.

    This kind of thinking reads to me like internalized anxiety. I haven't been taking the ginseng complex for the past few days. That may be a factor.

    I had hoped to get the Mustang inspected this weekend, but with the snow expected tomorrow, I don't think the roads will be safe enough for me to drive it. That engine is so overpowered that it's difficult to just back out of the driveway when it's wet out! Once inspected, it'll be up to Hulky to get it to a garage to have the exhaust checked out (since he is actually home during business hours on most days). The sooner the better, because then we can get the Civic taken care of. I'm so excited that it will be paid off soon. I could afford to do it now, but we need to hold onto those savings.
    Journal
    Current interests - Starting Strength (reading it very slowly)

    Depression Lies

  2. #6122
    Join Date
    Dec 2011
    Location
    Pacific NW
    Posts
    9,335
    Figuring out the money situation is one of the hardest things to do when you first get married. Going from 2 to 1 "pot" of money is sometimes awkward and uncomfortable - especially when the weight falls more on one than the other. My best advice is to try to get out of the mindset of what is "mine" and what is "yours". IMHO once you get married - there is no more separation. It should all go in one account and budgeted accordingly. Each of you needs to have some "play" money to spend on whatever you want. A good rule of thumb is to decide on a set amount ................. say $100 if you can swing it - less if not. That can go into other accounts or just come out as cash and go in your pockets. When Hulky gets done with school and starts working everything will get easier. At least until the babies come and then there are bigger choices to make.

    I think you're doing a good job working it out

  3. #6123
    Join Date
    Jul 2011
    Location
    MA, USA
    Posts
    13,224
    Thank you Tomi . Your reassurance is greatly appreciated. I think I'll talk to Hulky about the number crunching I've done so we can figure out what a good "play" amount is while still setting aside $$ for savings. Any extra money unspent at the end of the month that isn't needed immediately for groceries or urgent bills goes straight to savings!

    A sweet post from Hulky on Facebook:
    Dear Weather Stations,

    Please stop revising your estimates for expected snowfall tomorrow in the upwards direction, I dislike worrying about my wife having to drive with crazy drivers.

    Love,
    Me
    I let him know that I'll be working from home tomorrow, so I will be safe .
    Journal
    Current interests - Starting Strength (reading it very slowly)

    Depression Lies

  4. #6124
    Join Date
    Mar 2012
    Location
    Iowa
    Posts
    7,610
    Quote Originally Posted by namelesswonder View Post

    Budget - Since neither my bank nor our credit union have an external transfer option, I am going to have to split my paycheck deposit between banks so I have my own spending money separate from the household money. It will probably be easiest to determine how much $$ I'm "allowed" to have and put the rest into the household account since I have to indicate a specific amount to deposit. Let's see... considering my essential expenses (groceries, electric payment, rent, loans, car & renters insurance) and my expected monthly income... I don't know, I guess I could start with $100 to my personal account and go from there. All I know for sure is that more of my money needs to become "our" money because Hulky's income has barely been enough for his regular expenses the past two months.
    You can use these PDF's to help figure out how much to allocate for 'allowance'. These are what I used with Brad and I were figuring our budget.

    Real Debt Help - Get out of debt with Dave Ramsey's Total Money Makeover Plan - daveramsey.com


    Quote Originally Posted by tomi View Post
    Figuring out the money situation is one of the hardest things to do when you first get married. Going from 2 to 1 "pot" of money is sometimes awkward and uncomfortable - especially when the weight falls more on one than the other. My best advice is to try to get out of the mindset of what is "mine" and what is "yours". IMHO once you get married - there is no more separation. It should all go in one account and budgeted accordingly. Each of you needs to have some "play" money to spend on whatever you want. A good rule of thumb is to decide on a set amount ................. say $100 if you can swing it - less if not. That can go into other accounts or just come out as cash and go in your pockets. When Hulky gets done with school and starts working everything will get easier. At least until the babies come and then there are bigger choices to make.

    I think you're doing a good job working it out
    I agree with Tomi. What was once Mine and Yours is now Ours. No matter who makes more or has more bills. Pile it all together, figure out what bills are due and when they're due, create a budget based off of due dates and how well they fit (for instance, if something isn't due til the 25th, but won't fit in that week's budget, write the check the week before). That's how I do it. And it works. With extra left over at the end of each pay period.

    That extra is what you budget for each other's allowance. We get $50 a week to split between the two of us. I know you get paid monthly, but this could still work b/c if you KNOW what you'll have left at the end of the month, after budgeting out how much you plan for groceries, utilities, etc, you can just split that leftover money up over the 4 weeks in the month. Again, taking it out of the joint account and pocketing it, or moving it to a separate account - whichever you prefer. I prefer cash b/c once it's gone, it's gone, but debit works so much better for online purchases, etc, but it's easier to be irresponsible and "float" an intentional overdraft b/c you know there's a check that won't clear for a while.

    Anyway, budgeting can be complicated, or it can be easy. Dave Ramsey makes it easy. The link I provided helps you to remember those easy to forget expenses, like taxes, vehicle maintenance (semi-routine oil changes, bi-yearly need for tires, etc).

    I know you guys will figure it out. You're both educated and realistic people.
    Primal since March 5, 2012
    SW: 221 | CW: 204 | LPW: 166 | UGW: 140 (80 lbs loss)




  5. #6125
    Join Date
    Jul 2011
    Location
    MA, USA
    Posts
    13,224
    I get paid biweekly, but a monthly budget makes more sense to me than weekly or anything else because we have monthly expenditures.

    I think cash for groceries might be wise... Nice thing about next month is we'll have a week out of the country so should spend less all around .
    Journal
    Current interests - Starting Strength (reading it very slowly)

    Depression Lies

  6. #6126
    "I hate cooking in the morning, I always end up smelling like whatever I cooked all day. It's not that burger patties smell bad, but when the smell lingers on your clothes, it ends up smelling kind of rancid. "

    I'm the same way...

    Get an apron. Or wear an old long sleeved shirt while cooking. And a hat/scarf to cover your head.


    Cheers,

    Matt-

  7. #6127
    Join Date
    Jul 2011
    Location
    MA, USA
    Posts
    13,224
    Quote Originally Posted by ezeflier View Post
    "I hate cooking in the morning, I always end up smelling like whatever I cooked all day. It's not that burger patties smell bad, but when the smell lingers on your clothes, it ends up smelling kind of rancid. "

    I'm the same way...

    Get an apron. Or wear an old long sleeved shirt while cooking. And a hat/scarf to cover your head.


    Cheers,

    Matt-
    Hulky has a long-sleeved chef's coat I can wear from a cooking job he had a couple summers ago Guess I just need a chef's hat now...
    Journal
    Current interests - Starting Strength (reading it very slowly)

    Depression Lies

  8. #6128
    Join Date
    Jul 2011
    Location
    MA, USA
    Posts
    13,224
    Maybe I should make an Odds & Ends post about this

    What day trip should we do?

    -Stonehenge, Windsor Castle, Bath
    -Stonehenge, Salisbury, Bath
    -Stonehenge, Windsor Castle, Oxford

    Hulky wants to see a castle, so probably Windsor. I don't think we'll pay the entry fees anywhere, so it would just be walking tours and wandering around the cities/towns.
    Journal
    Current interests - Starting Strength (reading it very slowly)

    Depression Lies

  9. #6129
    canio6's Avatar
    canio6 Guest
    Quote Originally Posted by namelesswonder View Post
    Maybe I should make an Odds & Ends post about this

    What day trip should we do?

    -Stonehenge, Windsor Castle, Bath
    -Stonehenge, Salisbury, Bath
    -Stonehenge, Windsor Castle, Oxford

    Hulky wants to see a castle, so probably Windsor. I don't think we'll pay the entry fees anywhere, so it would just be walking tours and wandering around the cities/towns.

    Stonehenge is rather dull. Last time I was there they had a fence around it. This may have changed. Outside of saying "Yeah, I saw it in person" it is not worth the trip.

    Windsor Castle is cool. Warwick castle (near Oxford) is better.

    Oxford rocks if you go on a day they are open (not Monday)

    Bath I have not been too though Arya from GoT lives there and I have seen pictures of her dancing in the street. I would go just for that.

    Salisbury has a nice cathedral so I hear. I have never seen it so have no idea how it rates compared to others.

  10. #6130
    Shop Now
    London is a hoot.

    London favorites (not day trips):
    - It's pretty nerdy but our family really liked Greenwich. It's where the prime meridian is (where all longitude is referenced), along with a cool observatory / museum with some of the first reasonably accurate clocks. If it's a nice day, there's a great park that looks over the Thames.

    - Victoria and Albert Museum (V&A): Decorative arts and design - which sounds kind of weird, but it's remarkable. They have a collection of Stradivarius instruments and a large Chihuli glass sculpture in the entryway. And lots of other stuff.

    - British Museum: Home of the Elgin Marbles, and the Rosetta Stone. You can walk right up to the Rosetta Stone (in a large glass case). It's beautiful and was surprisingly impressive to me. The Reading Room is cool.

    - The Cutty Sark - a cool old ship - also in Greenwich

    - Liberty and Harrods: unique, immense department stores

    My dad and I took a day trip out to Duxford Air Museum - just outside Cambridge. Mind boggling collection (and he and I have been to a lot of cool air museums). The train ride up there was fun too.

    I think entrance is free to the big museums in London...


    I recommend looking at Rick Steve's guide to London - if you haven't already. It's $10 for the Kindle (usable on smart phones, etc) and $13 for paperback.

    I also recommend a travel clothesline - like the Lewis N Clark version shown on Amazon B00004SRAJ


    Cheers,

    Matt-

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •