Thanks for the tips! I'll see about getting some powdered detergent (Arm & Hammer is a good call, probably easier to find unscented) to bring along. I'll probably practice at home a couple of times to make sure I know how much to rinse to get the detergent out. I'd like to have some wool clothing with me as wool drys much faster than cotton.
Ze mood plummets once again as I arrive home from work and find the sink full of last night's dishes. Why am I so sensitive?
grumble grumble grumble
I really want to vent about Hulky right now because I'm upset right now but I know I would regret it later. I also know it would not be productive and I'd be unlikely to get any positive feedback.
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I'm sorry! Just stumbled on your journal. You're right in that if you put all "your business" out there, you'll likely regret it and some moron on this site will make you feel worse. Maybe you can type it up and then delete it? Sometimes that helps. Anyway, sending a hug your way or a punch to him - whichever is more helpful to you. ;-)
Sorry, Tasha. Could be part of what you're going through is just the learning how to be a "partner" thing. I know you lived together for a couple years before you got married - but was it always you doing the cleaning and domestic type stuff??? Has Hulky every lived alone and had to shop and clean and DO all for himself??? If not - then he needs to learn how before he will just do it automatically. Some guys just aren't wired for the domestic stuff and it just doesn't even cross their minds to do - they honestly don't even SEE that the dishes need to be done or the floors are dirty.......... They need to develop the eye for it - and that comes only with 1. the desire, 2. the right kind of "mentoring". Hope you can get it worked out.
Read post #2626
Did you go to Boots? Superdrug? Or any supermarket at all? Or the department stores that stock towels - BHS, M&S, Debenhams, John Lewis - and look around you?
The fridges are small compared with US/Aus, I grant you. Houses in general are smaller than you are likely used to...but flannels are rare? Come on now.
Last edited by badgergirl; 01-29-2014 at 07:14 PM.
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I don't vent about Hulky to any of my friends IRL. I don't have an outlet. I am too afraid that my friends will use the vented info against him/me because they are pretty immature like that. My sister definitely would use it against him. I just want someone to say, "I'm sorry, he is being a jackass" and maybe suggest how I can feel better. I don't want people to try and fix him for me and I DON'T want people bringing up past problems. I can do that on my own.
Hulky is not a messy person, but he has completely dropped the ball when it comes to apartment upkeep for a while now. He's just not contributing and everything I have tried to try and keep a schedule or something, he just doesn't stick to. Maybe a year or longer. That's how long this "funk" has been going on. It's hard enough to get him to see a doctor when something is OBVIOUSLY wrong (sick or injured). I don't know what it would take to get him to go talk to a doctor or someone about his stress & periodic depression. We talk about the apartment stuff sometimes, he seems willing, and then whatever...life happens and he doesn't stick with it. It's so minor, but it means so much. Makes me feel like he doesn't really care about our relationship, which is maybe an odd leap to make.
But the problem tonight is the only time we had to do our "homework" for therapy was tonight and he blew it off completely. Now there's a friend over chatting games with him and I am raging in my head. I played Rock Band for a bit to try and cool off, but my hands got tired and I don't feel like singing. Now I'm writing in my handwritten journal and planning on trying to sleep really early so I don't just cry, but I can't sleep with sounds like people talking. They will probably talk till late.
I tried to talk to Hulky about this evenings plans when I found out he was blowing me off. I tried to use the Imago dialogue we're practicing in therapy and he very purposely refused. We've barely spoken since then except when he told me about some game thing he was reading about. I should have told him I don't care unless he's going to talk to me about how he just stood me up. He kept saying he didn't want to do therapy homework and he sounded like a friggin' child. I just wanted to tell him to grow up, but I didn't. I am trying so hard to do this right and I am so frustrated that he basically told me to f' off.