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Thread: Anxiety, depression, laziness...Can the nameless wonder change? page 608

  1. #6071
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    namelesswonder is online now Senior Member
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    Thanks for the tips! I'll see about getting some powdered detergent (Arm & Hammer is a good call, probably easier to find unscented) to bring along. I'll probably practice at home a couple of times to make sure I know how much to rinse to get the detergent out. I'd like to have some wool clothing with me as wool drys much faster than cotton.
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  2. #6072
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    Quote Originally Posted by namelesswonder View Post
    Today's PaleoCon presentation on posture is great! Joshua Newman suggested getting two lacrosse balls, taping them together, and laying on them to work out the tense stuff in the back after sitting/hunching all day. Sounds like a nice cheap way to try and keep my back sorted out . Once laying on them (center on spine) becomes more comfortable, you roll yourself on the ball vertebra by vertebra, pausing at each one to rock back and forth. You can also lift your butt off the ground for extra weight to work things out. Maybe I can go to the local sports good store this weekend and get some lacrosse balls.

    Hulky's PT for his ankle is simple: write the alphabet with each foot, two times a day, just moving at the ankle. Balance on each foot for 60 seconds at a time, also try to do 30-60 seconds balanced on each foot with eyes closed (VERY hard). This helps build up sufficient strength in the feet and ankles to help prevent ankle rolling and speed up recovery if it does happen.
    My PT had me do the same with tennis balls. Good alternative if you can't find lacrosse balls.

  3. #6073
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    Ze mood plummets once again as I arrive home from work and find the sink full of last night's dishes. Why am I so sensitive?
    grumble grumble grumble
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  4. #6074
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    I really want to vent about Hulky right now because I'm upset right now but I know I would regret it later. I also know it would not be productive and I'd be unlikely to get any positive feedback.

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  5. #6075
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    I'm sorry! Just stumbled on your journal. You're right in that if you put all "your business" out there, you'll likely regret it and some moron on this site will make you feel worse. Maybe you can type it up and then delete it? Sometimes that helps. Anyway, sending a hug your way or a punch to him - whichever is more helpful to you. ;-)

  6. #6076
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    Quote Originally Posted by edennperez1 View Post
    I'm sorry! Just stumbled on your journal. You're right in that if you put all "your business" out there, you'll likely regret it and some moron on this site will make you feel worse. Maybe you can type it up and then delete it? Sometimes that helps. Anyway, sending a hug your way or a punch to him - whichever is more helpful to you. ;-)
    Haha thank you. I've ranted about him on here before and I wish I could back and find those entries to delete them. It feels unfair to air his baggage without his permission/knowledge. But I really need to find a friend to vent to. When I've written about issues in the past, it's so one-sided since it's all my perspective and the feedback I got was painful. I think Hulky and I are an imperfectly perfect match, as good as it's going to get, and I don't want yet more people in my life telling me he's a jackass and he'll always be a jackass. Not that my family has said that outright, but it's obvious how they've felt about him at times. I thought about writing in my handwritten journal, but that feels too...permanent?
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  7. #6077
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    Quote Originally Posted by namelesswonder View Post
    Haha thank you. I've ranted about him on here before and I wish I could back and find those entries to delete them. It feels unfair to air his baggage without his permission/knowledge. But I really need to find a friend to vent to. When I've written about issues in the past, it's so one-sided since it's all my perspective and the feedback I got was painful. I think Hulky and I are an imperfectly perfect match, as good as it's going to get, and I don't want yet more people in my life telling me he's a jackass and he'll always be a jackass. Not that my family has said that outright, but it's obvious how they've felt about him at times. I thought about writing in my handwritten journal, but that feels too...permanent?
    Unless he's an alien from another planet, he already knows that you complain about him to other people (friends, family, strangers). It's what girls do. One time I was on the phone with my sister and I was standing in the baby's room. I went into the other room to complain about hubby but forgot that the baby monitor was on!! I didn't even realize it until he walked in with this look on his face that basically said "jackass, the baby monitor is on!" Just a little comic relief for ya.... ;-)

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    Sorry, Tasha. Could be part of what you're going through is just the learning how to be a "partner" thing. I know you lived together for a couple years before you got married - but was it always you doing the cleaning and domestic type stuff??? Has Hulky every lived alone and had to shop and clean and DO all for himself??? If not - then he needs to learn how before he will just do it automatically. Some guys just aren't wired for the domestic stuff and it just doesn't even cross their minds to do - they honestly don't even SEE that the dishes need to be done or the floors are dirty.......... They need to develop the eye for it - and that comes only with 1. the desire, 2. the right kind of "mentoring". Hope you can get it worked out.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Refontai View Post
    And a washcloth. You might want to bring one just in case. Not common in the UK.
    Er, what now? You mean a face cloth/flannel to wash with, right? Did you go to Boots? Superdrug? Or any supermarket at all? Or the department stores that stock towels - BHS, M&S, Debenhams, John Lewis - and look around you?

    The fridges are small compared with US/Aus, I grant you. Houses in general are smaller than you are likely used to...but flannels are rare? Come on now.
    Last edited by badgergirl; 01-29-2014 at 07:14 PM.
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  10. #6080
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    I don't vent about Hulky to any of my friends IRL. I don't have an outlet. I am too afraid that my friends will use the vented info against him/me because they are pretty immature like that. My sister definitely would use it against him. I just want someone to say, "I'm sorry, he is being a jackass" and maybe suggest how I can feel better. I don't want people to try and fix him for me and I DON'T want people bringing up past problems. I can do that on my own.

    Hulky is not a messy person, but he has completely dropped the ball when it comes to apartment upkeep for a while now. He's just not contributing and everything I have tried to try and keep a schedule or something, he just doesn't stick to. Maybe a year or longer. That's how long this "funk" has been going on. It's hard enough to get him to see a doctor when something is OBVIOUSLY wrong (sick or injured). I don't know what it would take to get him to go talk to a doctor or someone about his stress & periodic depression. We talk about the apartment stuff sometimes, he seems willing, and then whatever...life happens and he doesn't stick with it. It's so minor, but it means so much. Makes me feel like he doesn't really care about our relationship, which is maybe an odd leap to make.

    But the problem tonight is the only time we had to do our "homework" for therapy was tonight and he blew it off completely. Now there's a friend over chatting games with him and I am raging in my head. I played Rock Band for a bit to try and cool off, but my hands got tired and I don't feel like singing. Now I'm writing in my handwritten journal and planning on trying to sleep really early so I don't just cry, but I can't sleep with sounds like people talking. They will probably talk till late.

    I tried to talk to Hulky about this evenings plans when I found out he was blowing me off. I tried to use the Imago dialogue we're practicing in therapy and he very purposely refused. We've barely spoken since then except when he told me about some game thing he was reading about. I should have told him I don't care unless he's going to talk to me about how he just stood me up. He kept saying he didn't want to do therapy homework and he sounded like a friggin' child. I just wanted to tell him to grow up, but I didn't. I am trying so hard to do this right and I am so frustrated that he basically told me to f' off.
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