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Thread: Anxiety, depression, laziness...Can the nameless wonder change?

  1. #6071
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    Ze mood plummets once again as I arrive home from work and find the sink full of last night's dishes. Why am I so sensitive?
    grumble grumble grumble
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  2. #6072
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    I really want to vent about Hulky right now because I'm upset right now but I know I would regret it later. I also know it would not be productive and I'd be unlikely to get any positive feedback.

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  3. #6073
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    I'm sorry! Just stumbled on your journal. You're right in that if you put all "your business" out there, you'll likely regret it and some moron on this site will make you feel worse. Maybe you can type it up and then delete it? Sometimes that helps. Anyway, sending a hug your way or a punch to him - whichever is more helpful to you. ;-)

  4. #6074
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    Quote Originally Posted by edennperez1 View Post
    I'm sorry! Just stumbled on your journal. You're right in that if you put all "your business" out there, you'll likely regret it and some moron on this site will make you feel worse. Maybe you can type it up and then delete it? Sometimes that helps. Anyway, sending a hug your way or a punch to him - whichever is more helpful to you. ;-)
    Haha thank you. I've ranted about him on here before and I wish I could back and find those entries to delete them. It feels unfair to air his baggage without his permission/knowledge. But I really need to find a friend to vent to. When I've written about issues in the past, it's so one-sided since it's all my perspective and the feedback I got was painful. I think Hulky and I are an imperfectly perfect match, as good as it's going to get, and I don't want yet more people in my life telling me he's a jackass and he'll always be a jackass. Not that my family has said that outright, but it's obvious how they've felt about him at times. I thought about writing in my handwritten journal, but that feels too...permanent?
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  5. #6075
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    Quote Originally Posted by namelesswonder View Post
    Haha thank you. I've ranted about him on here before and I wish I could back and find those entries to delete them. It feels unfair to air his baggage without his permission/knowledge. But I really need to find a friend to vent to. When I've written about issues in the past, it's so one-sided since it's all my perspective and the feedback I got was painful. I think Hulky and I are an imperfectly perfect match, as good as it's going to get, and I don't want yet more people in my life telling me he's a jackass and he'll always be a jackass. Not that my family has said that outright, but it's obvious how they've felt about him at times. I thought about writing in my handwritten journal, but that feels too...permanent?
    Unless he's an alien from another planet, he already knows that you complain about him to other people (friends, family, strangers). It's what girls do. One time I was on the phone with my sister and I was standing in the baby's room. I went into the other room to complain about hubby but forgot that the baby monitor was on!! I didn't even realize it until he walked in with this look on his face that basically said "jackass, the baby monitor is on!" Just a little comic relief for ya.... ;-)

  6. #6076
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    Sorry, Tasha. Could be part of what you're going through is just the learning how to be a "partner" thing. I know you lived together for a couple years before you got married - but was it always you doing the cleaning and domestic type stuff??? Has Hulky every lived alone and had to shop and clean and DO all for himself??? If not - then he needs to learn how before he will just do it automatically. Some guys just aren't wired for the domestic stuff and it just doesn't even cross their minds to do - they honestly don't even SEE that the dishes need to be done or the floors are dirty.......... They need to develop the eye for it - and that comes only with 1. the desire, 2. the right kind of "mentoring". Hope you can get it worked out.

  7. #6077
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    Quote Originally Posted by Refontai View Post
    And a washcloth. You might want to bring one just in case. Not common in the UK.
    Er, what now? You mean a face cloth/flannel to wash with, right? Did you go to Boots? Superdrug? Or any supermarket at all? Or the department stores that stock towels - BHS, M&S, Debenhams, John Lewis - and look around you?

    The fridges are small compared with US/Aus, I grant you. Houses in general are smaller than you are likely used to...but flannels are rare? Come on now.
    Last edited by badgergirl; 01-29-2014 at 06:14 PM.
    My journal: http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum/thread60211.html Into RPG table top games? Check out FateStorm and (in development) Vanguard! 3D printed miniatures for sci-fi RPGs.

  8. #6078
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    Last edited by namelesswonder; 04-01-2015 at 12:40 PM.
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  9. #6079
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    I used to have an extra email account where I sent all my rants to. Then I delete it on my sentbox. Reading the rants many years later can prove to be enlightening. Maybe it will help you?

    I hope you feel better soon.

  10. #6080
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    I don't feel like that leap is odd to make. I think it's natural to see someone not respecting what you ask him to do and extrapolate that to him not respecting you.. I really doubt that's the case, but it doesn't change how it feels.

    I was considering offering a little something, but since you said so, I'll just leave it at wow he's being an ass. Hopefully he realizes what he's got before he doesn't have it anymore. I think you're an awesome, patience, clever person and would be a terrible one to lose.

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