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Thread: Anxiety, depression, laziness...Can the nameless wonder change? page 593

  1. #5921
    namelesswonder's Avatar
    namelesswonder is offline Senior Member
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    Haha yeah, I know. I realized that my discomfort comes from the ingrained perception of dudes standing up for themselves = manly & positive, women standing up for themselves = bitchy & negative. I know that me saying that only bothered me, but I do have this nagging feeling in the back of my head that at least one of those friends (the hugest drama-queen of a hetero-man I have ever met) is going to talk about me behind my back. I'm trying to let that feeling go because whether he does or not is unlikely to affect my relationship with my other friends. And I know Hulky will always have my back.
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  2. #5922
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    My dreams have been very vivid lately. Thanks, potato starch? Last night's themes included:
    -Harry Potter after the books (specifically the year after). Hogwarts was in chaos and somehow being powered by a bio-mechanical thingy that was half ogre thing and some kind of nuclear-like magical core. I had to update it (by talking to it) periodically about happenings in the school/outside world so it could advise me. I also had to try and pick some gunk out of its disgusting peeling flesh uuggghhh. This included me as a side-kick and some kind of adventure into New York?
    -That crossed over into me wandering around topless for some reason and being almost entirely comfortable with it. Also, nobody stared. It was awesome. I only felt self-conscious when I was putting a shirt on before going back outside. Hulky's phone was dead & I couldn't tell him I had to leave for NY without any notice. He was mad at me and I was mad that he was mad because it wasn't my fault I had no other way to contact him. I also did some kind of race involving sitting in a tire that had a chain-saw mower on it and a paddle to turn. On the uphill portion, I had to walk my feet inside the tire to keep it spinning since the motor wasn't powerful enough.

    I woke up with a headache today. I think it's part congestion and part dehydration. I didn't drink a lot of water last night and drank a bit two nights ago, so that was unwise. I took an aspirin this morning & am chugging water today. I forgot to use the saline solution before leaving for work.

    I have to figure out a better way to eat the gluten-free pizza when I make it. One batch of dough results in two small pizzas. I have been eating one whole pizza for dinner and that's a perfect amount, but either the cheese or the crust gives me painful gas & bloating. It would be best for me to limit myself to 1/2 a pizza and then have something else on the side.

    Today is the first day of my potato hack. I've been telling Hulky about it and might try to convince him to try it with me sometime =P. He wants to lose a couple of pounds. He may lose it just by starting to walk to and from class again, since his gain is basically entirely due to inactivity. His classes start tomorrow. This morning, I was supposed to have some eggs & sausage, but there was too much bloating for me to feel hungry so I guess I'll just be having potatoes today. I boiled about 2 lbs last night, I hope that's enough for one day, but I'll have to boil more tonight anyway.

    I'm using up some Threelac that has been hanging in the cupboard for a while. As long as it works well enough with the potato starch, that will save me a bit of money this month that I otherwise would have had to spend on probiotics. I'll be out of the cal/mag butyrate after dinner tonight and not sure I want/need to get more. I guess I'll wait and see.

    I am going to be able to put almost my entire paycheck on Friday into savings . Hooray for 3 pay-periods this month! This gives me a huge boost on my savings goals.
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  3. #5923
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    Observations
    • I don't think taking 10,000 mcg (aka 1 g) of Biotin every day is making my hair grow any faster, but it does seem thicker to me. I have several bottles, so I'll probably just continue taking it. It's one of my few evening supplements. If I get my hair trimmed/tidied up every 6-8 weeks (I'm at around 8 weeks since last trim now, too shaggy in the back), my hair should be around chin-length by the end of the year. At that point, I'll have to think about what kind of cut/style I want to sport. Not much I can do as it's growing out.
    • Man, this RS & probiotic mix is a GODSEND for my constipation. For London, maybe I'll fill some capsules with potato starch and get a shelf-stable probiotic supplement so I can bring them on the trip. A bag of white powder probably wouldn't go over well with the TSA haha
    • Even though I'm about 15 lbs heavier, I feel like my waist is around the same size as it was this time last year. The slimmest I've ever measured my waist at is 29" and I don't think it gets smaller. I measured at 30" this past weekend. After my period, I'm going to measure again out of curiousity. I'm very interested in how my body shape has been changing this winter. Overall, I like it, but the sore boobs during PMS-week are obnoxious.
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  4. #5924
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    OMG 3 pay periods this month!!!! Thanks for reminding me.

    I had a weird dream this weekend as well which included a security guard at my HS that is married to another teacher. It all came rushing back to me this morning when I passed by him in the parking lot. I said Hello, remembered and then got very embarassed.

    He probably wondered why I had a funny look on my face.
    Last edited by Pebbles67; 01-13-2014 at 07:32 AM.

  5. #5925
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    I am having weird dreams pretty much every night due to the potato starch. Serotonin is a weird thing!

    Recently I've been having a lot of nudity dreams, which is odd because my sex drive has been pretty much shot this month. Again. Gr.
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  6. #5926
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    Oh, hey, today is our 6 month wedding anniversary .

    I wanted to share this nice conflict-resolution moment from last night: Hulky asked me to get ground cumin at the grocery store because we ran out and he uses it fairly regularly. When I got home and was putting the groceries away, I saw a bottle of "cumin seed" in the cupboard. It looked ground and I immediately got annoyed because I thought he must have seen it. I showed it to him and he said he thought it was something different. Then I was mad because I thought he was being lazy by not looking it up and making me spend nearly $7 on a new bottle. He walked away saying something like, "Stop making me feel bad for not knowing!" I fumed in the kitchen. Then I realized this was a good time to cool off. I focused on how my body felt (tight throat, tension in eyes & shoulders). I focused on breathing. I washed some dishes. I realized that what happened with the cumin happened and couldn't have really been helped. I could have approached that situation better and educated him/myself on whether or not the cumin I found was the same thing or not. 15 min later and I was calm/embarrassed, and he was over it. I called him over, apologized, and admitted that I was not really mad at him, I was frustrated about how expensive the groceries were overall and how much we've spent so far this month. We talked about our budget for the month and how to cut some costs. Everything was fine.

    Hulky tends not to apologize because he doesn't recognize situations where an apology would mean a lot to me. I can work on appropriately letting him know when I need it. That does not have to be an accusatory moment, either. I tend not to apologize because I get overwhelmed with this sense of always being wrong, always being a screw-up, and I don't want to admit to being wrong so I have to deal with those feelings. That is something I can work on too, but being able to remove myself & calm down/think it out is essential.

    Holy crap, my brother is going to be 16 on Sunday.
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  7. #5927
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    90% off sale on ideeli.com today for coats.
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    HCLF: lean red meat, eggs, low-fat dairy, bone broth/gelatin, fruits, seafood, liver, small amount of starch (oatmeal, white rice, potatoes, carrots), small amount of saturated fat (butter/ghee/coconut/dark chocolate/cheese).

    My Journal: gelatin experiments, vanity pictures, law school rants, recipe links


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  8. #5928
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    Hoooly ssheeeettt thanks lady. I will poke around.

    Nameless Wonders: Winter cleaning 2014
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  9. #5929
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    Nice job on the conflict resolution My best strategy for life........... don't sweat the small stuff! You have to learn to laugh off stuff that makes no difference in the big picture.
    Read post #2626
    my motivation

  10. #5930
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    I love crazy ass dreams. I don't get them all the time, but when I do, I'm usually about to die 24/7 and something's going to splode and someone's trying to take over/has already taken over the world. I'm rarely the main character though; like the last dream I had a story character of mine was crossing a post apocalyptic desert with a very important blue scarf. Why the fuck was a blue scarf important? I have no idea.
    yeah, but "hey i'm Khan the sword king" is not normal.... the universe is being fickle... this is a thing... ignore me for a few weeks.

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