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Thread: Anxiety, depression, laziness...Can the nameless wonder change? page 59

  1. #581
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    Hahah no puking or dying. It was a good feeling to be so satisfyingly stuffed and not really bursting at the seams! Also, still never got around to seeing Ghost In The Shell... but yeah, short in the back angling to long in the front (A-line cut) plus bangs is my favorite hairstyle. Not sure how I like it as it's growing out, but I'm too scared to get it trimmed because they always cut it too short!

    My tummy was a bit off this morning. Some sharp gas pain and a soft BM, but I felt fine last night. Only potentially offensive food I had yesterday was peppers, so maybe nightshades ARE an issue. If I'm still having some random issues in January, I'll cut them out and go from there.

    I used the neti pot this morning, though not a full pot's worth. It helped clear up the congestion I got overnight (most likely due to the wet & warm weather, usually is worse under those conditions), but nothing beyond that. I'm doomed to allergies. I really want to do allergy testing, but there are a lot of other things that need my $$. I think I will look into an OTC solution after January, assuming it's not from food, until I can afford testing.

    I tried to do some squats yesterday and I was still very sore from the other day. I picked up my KB this morning and did some arm exercises. I did 17 of the following (can't figure out what it's called): holding KB in two hands by handle, hold arms straight down and then pull up to under chin, with elbows going out and up. Then I did 4 of the following: dipped KB behind head with two hands on handle, extend arms back up over head. I could only manage that # of each, hence the random numbers. I'm glad I did *something* anyway. Maybe I'll do some push-ups later. My chest and shoulder blade areas are sore, which is a good feeling.

    I resisted the lure of chocolate AND warm milk with honey last night. Dinner was sausages with peppers and onions. I did have a couple nibbles of Nutella from the jar. I might look into a more natural hazelnut spread from Whole Foods, as long as it's not too pricey. If boyfriend likes it and it's close to paleo/fully primal, we'll get that instead so I can have some guilt-free nibbles.

    I had very interrupted sleep last night. I went to bed around 9PM because I was exhausted (finished wrapping and finished my dad's Xmas present, though I might embellish it more later), but woke up around 3:30AM because boyfriend was hollering at friends online in the other room. I grumbled at him, he said he'd keep it down, and I tossed and turned for another hour or so until he came to bed (I could see some light outside by the time he joined me) and then fell straight to sleep. I got up after 7:30 (first alarm) but before my 8AM alarm because I realized I wasn't comfortable, despite being tired. It's too rainy and I have no umbrella, so no outdoor walk today.

    I skipped breakfast, but probably shouldn't have. I was dragging my arse this morning so it just wasn't happening. I have a sweet potato I'm going to heat up and have some butter with in a little while (I couldn't join my co-workers for sushi because of a scan I have running, which would've been awesome).

    Dinner tonight is probably just going to be a ground beef mix with some frozen veggies. I'm tired of making dinner!

    I reminded boyfriend that he might want to pick better food options to heal his body, instead of having nutella sandwiches =\ I hope he at least has some eggs or something substantial today (there's even mini-steaks in the fridge, defrosted).

    ---

    Brain & life: Focus and mood is good today. Last night I had 100mg (one capsule) of 5HTP and Magnesium. That seems to be a pretty good combo to get me to sleep, but nothing seems to knock me out quite like 5HTP used to anymore. I don't want to increase the dose... I think I might need to take a break from it again. Maybe from Christmas to New Years. I'll take a week of Tyrosine the first week of January, so I'm not doing both at once. I've still been forgetting to take the Theanine in the afternoon as well as morning, but it doesn't seem to matter much for the past couple of days so I suspect my anxiety and depression was from something else. Period should've been coming within the next few days, but EC is probably going to throw it off. I need to stock up on preggo tests again

    My Baba is coming down today! I will go over my parents house tonight to say hi. Maybe if I tidy up tomorrow morning I can bring her over to see the apartment. I am looking forward to my 3-day weekend.


    2006. Senior Prom. The green and orange hair at the back is actually my friend behind me. He looked like a dinosaur I loved that deep red, but it only lasted a couple of days (foam-based temp dye).
    Last edited by namelesswonder; 12-23-2011 at 10:28 AM.
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  2. #582
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    Oh, things worth noting:

    -I look a helluva lot better this year than I did this time last year. No bloating, no extra weight whatsoever. Less pimples (only when I cheat), less dry skin (even my lips have been in pretty good shape lately and they are usually dry), looooong hair (okay, long for me).
    -GODDAMMIT REMEMBER THIS TASHA: My hair LOVES to be conditioned. I used extra conditioner today and washed the rest of me while it sat in my h air, then rinsed it out as much as possible. When my hair dried (didn't take that long), at first I thought "Ew, it's grimy", but it looks shiny, healthy, and NOT stringy. It looks perfect! This is how it should feel and look. Maybe I will not use shampoo tomorrow. It even doesn't smell like anything at all!
    -I think I'm going to take an MDA break till Tuesday. I'll report back with my holiday transgressions then. I expect to have at least one gingerbread cookie, one pfeffernüsse, and eggnog, if my mom gets the real stuff (if she doesn't, I'm fucking getting some myself goddammit). But really, I just want wine, I have two bottles, and I don't have a corkscrew!

    Happy Holidays! The colors in my last photo now seem appropriately festive hehe.
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  3. #583
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    The hair is awesome! So's your friend's. My little brother did highlighter-yellow for one homecoming. Looked better than it sounds, since it matched his tie and belt he'd sewn from an old raincoat.

    Enjoy the indulgences- and revel in how good you look!

  4. #584
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    Aaaand I'm back. I'll admit that I had a few moments of really wanting to pop back on MDA in the evening on Christmas and last night (I did come on, but my favorite journals weren't updated, so I left after a minute of scanning), but I resisted. I think I was just bored. I stayed off the computer for the most part except for a nice long Skyrim session (so close to lvl 50!) on Friday night. And I did some extensive clean-up on my mom's MacBook (has a solid-state drive, but it's pretty small so I had to do a lot of back-up and tidying to make room for iPhoto) and some initial set-up on my brother's "new" laptop that I put together for him.

    Brief overview of non-primal transgressions: Ate out Friday night, got a fajita salad, should not have had the sour cream. Had a lot of pfeffernusse one night and didn't stop till I felt sick from the sugar (only one left in the bag now). Grazed on cookies and crappy egg nog (seriously sad about that, going to get some good stuff before the end of the week so I can indulge) on Xmas day. Had a pizza last night and I have a slice leftover if I get desperate for lunch. All in all, I think I did pretty well. I decided not to have a cinnamon roll since I had some for Thanksgiving and they weren't as amazing as I wanted them to be. The cookies were worth it though! Some bloating and fat-tummy-ness yesterday, but I look okay today.

    I had eggs a few times this weekend, but I really couldn't tell how my congestion and stomach were affected. I'll just have to try them in late January.

    Food for today: It took me about 30 min to prep everything for my beef stew in the crock pot. I'm texting boyfriend with instructions in a little while (shallow stir for the meat on top around noon, deep stir around 3pm and check for doneness every hour after that, add frozen pearl onions & peas when it seems close). I'm excited! I nibbled on a couple of thin steak slices I cooked up yesterday and had a banana this morning. I wanted more food, but the stew prep took up the rest of my time (I got to work on time, hooray!). Anyway I have an apple and some almond buttered celery sticks that I will eat before I go to the pizza slice, if I'm desperate.

    Sleep: Sleep has been pretty good lately. I slept in later on the weekend, but not excessively so (awake by 10AM). I feel like I got a bit caught up since I went to bed pretty early every night. Last night I didn't though, no idea why I always stay up late on a work-night, even when I haven't worked that day! Boyfriend's sleep is still largely sporadic and disrupted from the pain, MRI is Wednesday and results (physical therapy or surgery) will be available next week.

    Exercise: I might've done some push-ups one day this weekend. Yesterday I did some light cardio for a few hours, basically just a lot of moving and some light lifting, while I helped my mom finish disassembling my brother's old bed & clean up & move some file cabinets to turn my brother's old bedroom into an old office. The congestion from the dust was not awesome, but moving felt good. I never felt like I was pushing myself too hard or needed a break. I had a clementine and mostly powered myself through on tea to help clear out the dust.

    Congestion: It's been horrid since yesterday because we kicked up a lot of dust. Drinking tea helps a bit because it washes away the post nasal drip and the steam loosens up things inside. The bipolar weather is not helping, with occasional warmish rains and then freezing cold nights. It's nose-bleed season and I had a few attacks yesterday. I'm a chronic picker though, it's a childhood problem that I have never been able to give up It's embarrassing... I should really do the neti pot every day to moisten things in there if I'm not going to get a humidifier!

    Focus etc.: My brain has been good lately! I'm taking this week off from Tyrosine. I talked to my mom about my supplement regimen and noted that I wasn't sure if some increased anxiety this weekend was because I was off that or just the situation/environment (stress around family, the Holiday etc.). She said it was probably family heh. I found out that my dad used to take supplements (St Johns Wort, 5-HTP and some others) for depression and anxiety (well that's what I assume his anger issues stem from since that's how it works for me) and it worked quite well for him, but he stopped because he didn't want to rely on them. Better to use those than chemicals from a prescription, I say. I might chastise him about it sometime since he seems to listen to me and reduced stress is obviously very important post heart-attack.

    The dropping problem I had last week seems to have gone way, but I'm still having problems shifting. My boyfriend's car is standard and I don't usually have a problem with shifting, but lately I keep grinding gears (lifting the clutch too early or moving the shifter too late), sometimes a couple of shifts in a row, but always at least once per drive. It's driving me nuts and I feel so guilty doing that to the transmission! If I remember to pay attention to it, I don't mess it up, but I don't always remember. Maybe I just need to slow it down and focus on shifting properly for a little while.

    Hope you all had a nice weekend. I wish mine had been longer, but so far I'm having a good day. I'll let you know how the beef stew comes out tomorrow!
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  5. #585
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    Oh it's probably worth adding that I've been eating a lot more carbs lately with the fruit I picked up. My sugar cravings have been manageable, I have not been tempted by the chocolate as it may be migraine-inducing (cry cry). I don't feel or look any different from the healthy carb options (starches & fruits), but it might take some time for me to see if I actually need to stay low-carb for best mental performance.
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  6. #586
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    The wife made a wheat free chocolate cake (basically, it was a huge ass brownie without wheat.)

    Horray for chocolate cravings!

    Don't feel bad. I hit the gym and did some HIIT for the first time to make up for it.
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  7. #587
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    Mmmm huge ass brownie. I wonder if it's just chocolate in such concentrated amounts (90% dark) that gives me migraines. I'm not up for testing right now and I can't have chocolate in January anyway.

    I was worrying about the beef stew because I didn't know if boyfriend was up yet, but he just texted me. I am excited and hope it's delicious. I hope it's not awful because I forgot the bay leaf. Do they make that much of a difference?
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  8. #588
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    You'll be fine without the bayleaf. I'm pretty sure the only way you can really damage beef stew is to leave out the beef. Or open a Dinty Moore can- but you've already got the homemade thing going on

    A while ago I made a gluten and dairy free Mexican Chocolate Cake for work. It looked funny (I didn't take them seriously when they said a spring-form pan) but it was a hit. It was basically eggs, sugar, copious amounts of cocoa, and the spices.

    I was really loving the sleeping in thing. I can't say I caught up much- but it was so nice to wake up AFTER dawn! I'm with you on the staying up late on work nights. I was up until midnight last night reading. About finances. I think at least part of it is that if you turn off the light, then you'll fall asleep, then you'll have to wake up and go to work. I'm all for putting that off as much as possible.

  9. #589
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    Quote Originally Posted by drssgchic View Post
    You'll be fine without the bayleaf. I'm pretty sure the only way you can really damage beef stew is to leave out the beef. Or open a Dinty Moore can- but you've already got the homemade thing going on

    A while ago I made a gluten and dairy free Mexican Chocolate Cake for work. It looked funny (I didn't take them seriously when they said a spring-form pan) but it was a hit. It was basically eggs, sugar, copious amounts of cocoa, and the spices.

    I was really loving the sleeping in thing. I can't say I caught up much- but it was so nice to wake up AFTER dawn! I'm with you on the staying up late on work nights. I was up until midnight last night reading. About finances. I think at least part of it is that if you turn off the light, then you'll fall asleep, then you'll have to wake up and go to work. I'm all for putting that off as much as possible.
    So that's what it was called. Mexican Chocolate cake. My wife made this for me and it was awesome, like a big ass brownie.
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  10. #590
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    I started a Whole 30 thread for January.

    http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum/thread44962.html

    I hope I get some people to join in with me, it'd be nice to have a support group for the month. I'll keep my posts more to the point in there and keep my usual wild ramblings over here. That one will solely be for nutrition and eliminating bad digestive symptoms (painful gas) and congestion (if possible).
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