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Thread: Anxiety, depression, laziness...Can the nameless wonder change? page 580

  1. #5791
    vh67's Avatar
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    I usually just lurk in your journal but your last few post are especially profound. What you said is what I tried to convey yesterday but not as well, especially after getting too emotional about it. Being thin isn't a magic doorway to happiness, you have to be happy before you step through it.

  2. #5792
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    Quote Originally Posted by vh67 View Post
    I usually just lurk in your journal but your last few post are especially profound. What you said is what I tried to convey yesterday but not as well, especially after getting too emotional about it. Being thin isn't a magic doorway to happiness, you have to be happy before you step through it.
    Well-put. These thoughts have been brewing in my time away from posting on MDA. I think I will implement more weeks off here and there to let my thoughts process.
    Journal on depression/anxiety
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  3. #5793
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    I get what you're saying. I've held that same thinking in my day. I'm a perfectionist. It took me a long time to realize that and realize it was holding me back. If I had a training plan for a particular run, I had to run every single time it told me to, for the exact distance and pace and I could not, absolutely COULD NOT deviate from that plan. Additionally, perfectionism is holding me back from getting things accomplished at home that I want to accomplish - mostly b/c it'll take a great deal of time to accomplish them, which would leave work undone, which does not sit well with my perfectionist mind. It's part of the reason I am not any closer to getting those things done b/c in my mind if I can't finish what I start without having to walk away for a night, couple nights, or Gawd forbid, a week, why even start? This perfectionism comes through to my body image too. While I notice the improvements my body is making (there are many), I also notice the work I still have to do, and that work I still have to do is what holds me back from being happy with where I am now. I'm very proud of the 55 lbs I lost these last two years, but at the same time, I'm impatiently tapping my foot regarding the other 20-35 lbs that still need to. This seems like a good thing to talk about in my own journal and could maybe become a great New Year's Goal - setting perfectionism aside and doing what I can now and worrying about the rest later... Oy, that would be hard and would need constant reminders!

    Thanks for the thought process. I will be formulating a journal post from all this.
    Primal since March 5, 2012
    SW: 221 | CW: 182 | LPW: 166 | UGW: 140 (80 lbs loss)




  4. #5794
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    naiadknight is online now Senior Member
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    I learned the hard way that a "perfect" body means jack squat if you aren't mentally there. I know, logically, that my body is the one many would kill to have. Heck, even my body at my heaviest is one others have striven for. I was rarely happy with it. I could always find something to nitpick about.
    Being with an ex took me a long way towards loving myself. Another ex stripped that away. Scratch that. I allowed him to strip that away. Being with Geek and his clan took me further toward loving myself than I had even been since before middle school. Seeing that they loved me as I am and encouraged me to quit with the negative self talk, seeing that Geek loved me and found me desirable at any point in my weight journey was another huge step. I think the biggest one and the breakthrough I needed was Al- Anon and healing through believing I AM worth the healing, my own love, and it is extremely difficult to grok and agape someone before I love myself.
    "No fate but what we make"- Sarah Connor, Terminator 2
    Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, steak in one hand, chocolate in the other, yelling "Holy F***, What a Ride!"
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  5. #5795
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    And this is why I missed your updates. I have poor body and other issues that I can't really blame on exes, but they certainly didn't help. Being single and actually enjoying it has been one of the most freeing things to happen in my life. I think everyone probably thinks I'm nuts when I say I'd rather have pets than kids, but it's no more crazy than facebook drama. Now if only I can figure out how to get that feeling in other parts of my life...

  6. #5796
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    Quote Originally Posted by RittenRemedy View Post
    And this is why I missed your updates. I have poor body and other issues that I can't really blame on exes, but they certainly didn't help. Being single and actually enjoying it has been one of the most freeing things to happen in my life. I think everyone probably thinks I'm nuts when I say I'd rather have pets than kids, but it's no more crazy than facebook drama. Now if only I can figure out how to get that feeling in other parts of my life...
    Hahah yeah that's the trick isn't it? I am glad when I have single friends IRL and online that are happy single. I feel like a hypocrite wanting people to be happy on their own, nobody will care what I have to say because not only am I in a longterm monogamous relationship, I got married. I want to encourage sad single people to learn how to be happy on their own, treat themselves like they would a significant other... I don't see Hulky as a half of me or a completion. We just have gears that mesh well and we like working together.
    Journal on depression/anxiety
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  7. #5797
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    Quote Originally Posted by namelesswonder View Post
    Hahah yeah that's the trick isn't it? I am glad when I have single friends IRL and online that are happy single. I feel like a hypocrite wanting people to be happy on their own, nobody will care what I have to say because not only am I in a longterm monogamous relationship, I got married. I want to encourage sad single people to learn how to be happy on their own, treat themselves like they would a significant other... I don't see Hulky as a half of me or a completion. We just have gears that mesh well and we like working together.
    I had a family therapist tell me once that you can't be happy with another person until you are happy with your self. I think that that is true. It is too much to ask another person to make you happy. I love my husband but I would be fine by myself too. Now Hubby can make me unhappy very fast sometimes...

  8. #5798
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    Quote Originally Posted by vh67 View Post
    I had a family therapist tell me once that you can't be happy with another person until you are happy with your self. I think that that is true. It is too much to ask another person to make you happy. I love my husband but I would be fine by myself too. Now Hubby can make me unhappy very fast sometimes...
    Loool yes that is the thing isn't it. I just need to find someone who makes me unhappy less.

  9. #5799
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    And maybe who puts up with my "picky" eating hehe.

  10. #5800
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    Maybe I am lucky that I got Hulky wrapped around my finger before my eating habits changed Despite having a somewhat more restrictive diet than ever, he is the most accepting of it now. He questions most of my choices (which is good for me, gotta make sure I know why I'm doing what I'm doing), but is careful to find me things w/o soybean oil . He has probably just been witness to my grumpitude enough to realize I'm not kidding about painful joints.
    Journal on depression/anxiety
    Curing IBS-C with Vitamin C and magnesium citrate.

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