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Thread: Anxiety, depression, laziness...Can the nameless wonder change?

  1. #5751
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    Hey, could you PM me your address again? I think I deleted the message.

  2. #5752
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    I have not seen Love Actually, so I will refrain from reading the review, in case the day comes that I watch it. I don't want the review to ruin it.

    Kudos to you for confronting the upstairs tenents about the car. As stressful as it was, I think you helped yourself more than you understand.
    Primal since March 5, 2012
    SW: 221 | CW: 204 | LPW: 166 | UGW: 140 (80 lbs loss)




  3. #5753
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    I will chime in on the Pat Yourself on the Back, Tasha! It takes confidence to approach people about stuff that could be a potential conflict. You handled yourself with poise and maturity! Nice going! Perhaps it would be a good idea to suggest to coach a sign indicating the "driveway is for tenants only and all unauthorized cars will be subject to tow without the owners notification". It could stop any further issues.

    I hope you get the girlie issues fixed soon........ and also, good job on planting the bug for the treatment plan. Sometimes I think Doctors are men in general........... if you want them to do something - make them think its their idea! (apologies to any men or doctors reading this post)

    That is also a good strategy in your marriage. NOT to be manipulative - but I have been married a very long time (albeit, to two different men) and I have talked to MANY other wives about this subject. If you want your husband to handle a situation in the way you feel is best........... just mention it to him in moderate detail, and then let it rest. I would wager to say 80% of the time, within 2 weeks, he will come to you with the exact same thought or idea and believe it is totally his own! You can say "I said that 2 weeks ago" .......... he won't remember you saying it. But if he does - brownie points are in order! Men............. they are adorable - and quite predictable!

    I hope that doesn't sound condescending to men........... I don't mean it to - I LOVE men! But, the reality is about 1/2 their listening happens with their subconscious brain. They aren't dual brained as women are, so if they are engaged in any type of task or even watching TV -- they are unable to also listen to their wives. To further expand on this topic........ science has proven that the tone of a womans voice is such that if a man is concentrating on something (say a tv show or the newspaper) he is physically unable to HEAR her unless he changes his focus and listens strictly to her voice. Try it with Hulky sometime when he is playing a game on the computer. Start talking to him about something - then throw in a total ridiculous statement - chances are he won't even catch it - cuz he can't play his game and completely listen to you at the same time. I find it very amusing - and will do this to hubby when I'm feeling playful and silly. Then I start laughing and he will say "what are you yabbering about now?" In reality he hasn't "heard" a word I said.

    Sorry - my Psychology background coming through............

  4. #5754
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    Quote Originally Posted by tomi View Post
    But, the reality is about 1/2 their listening happens with their subconscious brain. They aren't dual brained as women are, so if they are engaged in any type of task or even watching TV -- they are unable to also listen to their wives. To further expand on this topic........ science has proven that the tone of a womans voice is such that if a man is concentrating on something (say a tv show or the newspaper) he is physically unable to HEAR her unless he changes his focus and listens strictly to her voice. Try it with Hulky sometime when he is playing a game on the computer. Start talking to him about something - then throw in a total ridiculous statement - chances are he won't even catch it - cuz he can't play his game and completely listen to you at the same time. I find it very amusing - and will do this to hubby when I'm feeling playful and silly. Then I start laughing and he will say "what are you yabbering about now?" In reality he hasn't "heard" a word I said.

    Sorry - my Psychology background coming through............
    So this is why my son and husband rarely hear anything Makenna or I say... Makenna will say "Daddy" 8 times without acknowledgement from Brad, so I'll have to say, loudly, "DADDY! Makenna's talking to you," and then he'll turn his head and listen. Brady does the same thing. If he's concentrating on anything at all, I have to break that concentration somehow - usually by shouting his name - to catch his attention to give my direction. It's quite ridiculous.
    Primal since March 5, 2012
    SW: 221 | CW: 204 | LPW: 166 | UGW: 140 (80 lbs loss)




  5. #5755
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    Its physiology............. they can't help it. Its the way their brains are wired. Keep that in mind - it will keep you from getting angry and feeling like you're being ignored.

  6. #5756
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    I think it's a taught wiring and not a born trait. Hulky and I both do this though. For me, it's the Executive Functioning Disorder more than anything else. Hulky and I just had a fun conversation about this actually . He's going to use the key word "focus" when he wants to do something with video games & be undisturbed (unless I need to talk to him or am leaving the house for a bit).
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  7. #5757
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    CAnio- I love GW2. It's the only MMO I'm willing to play, with the possible exception of the Skyrim one.
    NW- You did something that would've left me chewing on my lip all day long. Given that anxiety strikes hard here, as well, I know just how hard that must've been with the neighbors. You owe yourself some kind of small treat (not necessarily food) for doing that instead of running from it. That's one thing Mentor is drilling into me: you wouldn't train a dog without positive reinforcement, why are you any less important? For every step in the right direction, I'm required to give myself some sort of positive reinforcement. TL;DR: Good job! Reward yourself for it!
    Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, steak in one hand, chocolate in the other, yelling "Holy F***, What a Ride!"
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  8. #5758
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    I struggle with rewards. I am never sure what would be fitting. I definitely tend towards punishment and never reward, when it comes to myself. Something to think on. Thanks!
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  9. #5759
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    Card on the way.

  10. #5760
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    Thanks, P.

    Baba asked me to pick up a gift on her behalf for Hulky. I asked him what he wanted and he said “Wooden spoons!” I got him some wooden utensils & two springform pans. I am sure he will find a reason to use them . Baba has 2’ of snow up in Maine! Depending how she feels & the forecast will determine whether or not my parents can go pick her up to bring her down for Christmas. I hope she can make it so I can give her the wedding photo book in person.

    I am super sneezy today. No idea why.

    I did a bunch of grocery shopping last night & we have almost everything we need in order to make holiday cookies. This weekend, we’ll have to go out to look for cookie tins & wrapping paper. I have a ton of brown paper (saved from packages I’ve received in the past few years), but I kind of wanted to wrap things nicely this year. Maybe I’ll just get some ribbon instead. I also bought myself some gluten-free flours (almond, coconut, and arrowroot) so I can make gluten-free gingerbread cookies! I was lamenting being unable to eat any of our creations, so I decided to make some me-friendly ones. Hulky said, “But we’re giving them all away!” Meh, I wanted some. We still need to go out for whatever we want to make for Christmas dinner (turkey & fixings), cocoa powder (ran out and need it for Saturday’s movie-watching with friends), and more wheat flour (Trader Joe’s was out last night).

    I woke up feeling very anxious this morning. I washed some dishes, fed the cat, took supplements, made some scrambled eggs, took more supplements, put a lunch together, got dressed, and got to work on time. I am worried about Hulky not spending time yet working on his resume. He needs to be sending out job applications throughout the next semester. If he can’t find work to start right after graduating… We need all the savings we can keep. I feel guilty for the honeymoon now. I want to tell him what I am worried about, but I don’t know how to say it yet. I don’t want to be accusatory. I am reading more of the “Getting the Love You Want” book and finally got to the part where you start to practice things. Maybe I will find a way in there. I am feeling kind of jealous that Hulky gets to sit on his ass all day while I am at work and planning out all of this stuff for us/the apartment. Makes me feel really lonely in the relationship. I did manage to tell him last night that I feel really lonely when he's playing video games in the evening when he's had the chance to do that all day while I was out. He took it well and I think we are going to start baking together tonight (and hopefully cut his hair).

    I am behind on my exercise attempts. Hoping I can squeeze in a yoga session this weekend.
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