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Thread: Anxiety, depression, laziness...Can the nameless wonder change? page 572

  1. #5711
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    Primal Fuel
    I had a hard time falling asleep last night. I think I was a little ramped up from dinner at the in-laws. The kids were there, being crazy as usual. I ended up feeling a bit lonely in the midst of a lot of people. Hulky was wrapped up making pancakes for everyone the whole time. He made my gluten-free ones and I had bacon & sausage alongside them. When Hulky came to bed, I was a bit mean to him because he wanted sex & I wanted sleep. I donít respond well when Iím woken up in the middle of the night! Iím sure heís over it.

    I had to berate myself out of bed this morning. A mantra of ďget the fuck up you lazy piece of shitĒ really gets the engines going. Sigh. I guess I am more than a bit down today. I am going to fiddle with the 5-HTP this weekend, probably not take it Saturday night. I feel too tired lately.

    We are going out with some friends tonight. I shouldnít drink because itíll just screw up my gut, but I know I will anyway. I might ask Hulky if heíll stay sober enough to monitor my intake (heís paying anyway). I donít know if I trust him to do this for me, honestly, but itís better than just trying to rely on myself. I feel like I might just get plastered for the hell of it. Iím also kind of afraid that I might have a meltdown if I drink, but I am on the verge of not caring about that.

    All of my orders are coming in early! Hulkyís bunny slippers are hidden away, three of the wedding photo books arrived (the larger ones, for Baba and our parents), and all of my supplements came in yesterday. I got this soap, it smells really good. I started my probiotic supplement last night, taking 3 capsules every morning now. Iíll re-cap my supplement intake next week once I get it sorted out.
    Journal on depression/anxiety
    Currently trying to figure out WTF to eat (for IBS-C).

  2. #5712
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    While my goal is to eventually be the crazy American cat lady (possibly instead of several cats just one gigantic dog) I'm not there yet.

    Just don't drink TOO much. Relax and have fun!

  3. #5713
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    The trouble with monitoring my drink is that I have no idea how much I can get away with now. For the past few months, basically since I started upping my carbs, I can be a few drinks in and still not feel uncoordinated. Based on my limited mouth-brain filter by that point, I am drunk. I keep waiting for the woozy feeling, but it doesn't happen. I suppose the key is going to be just picking a drink limit and sticking to it.

    I'm going to take my B-complex tonight AND tomorrow morning. I'm starting to hydrate now, just in case...

    Hulky and I really want another cat (has to get approved by the landlord first), but I'm worried about the introduction process. It would be hard to separate the cats for a week or more. I would probably get some of those claw caps for Fae (would take her to PetSmart or wherever and have someone else apply them!) so she could be closed in rooms & not destroy the door. I'm also looking into a good anti-scratching spray. This one seems to have good reviews and might be good for introducing another cat. Amazon.com: Comfort Zone with Feliway for Cats Spray, 75 Milliliters: Pet Supplies

    I'm secretly hoping Hulky is looking into getting us a cat for Christmas, but I doubt it.
    Journal on depression/anxiety
    Currently trying to figure out WTF to eat (for IBS-C).

  4. #5714
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    January project:

    Some other folks are doing a Whole30. I just need to focus on eating enough, but my month-long project is going to be dry brushing! I bought a brush intending to use it for exfoliating before my shower so the epilator works better, but my legs tend to be really dry no matter how good my diet is. I used it last night and my legs seem smoother today, much less dead skin visible. I'll be doing it nightly for all of January (going to make a calendar for myself to keep track). I don't think I'm going to do my stomach & arms too, but my arms are a bit dry so...maybe.
    Journal on depression/anxiety
    Currently trying to figure out WTF to eat (for IBS-C).

  5. #5715
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    I have a Vitamin E report.

    I have been taking one 400iu soft gel daily since you told me about it during my last period.
    This month's period was significantly lighter.
    Last edited by Pebbles67; 12-14-2013 at 06:54 AM.

  6. #5716
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    That's awesome, P! I'll probably still have to go through an adjustment period (pun intended) before I reap the benefits. This month (next week) will only be my third period since I got the IUD.

    Drinks last night were fun. I didn't drink too much and very nearly hydrated enough. Catching up now. Hulky drank LOADS of water and has no hangover, though is still massively congested. He took a benadryl when he got up and I will have him take a couple of B-complex capsules when he eats. I'm testing a hunch on sulfite sensitivity with him.

    I had two glasses of mead (SO good) and two beers last night. One of the beers was gluten-free. All were tasty. Hulky and I split the seasonal game plate, which was boar ribs.
    Journal on depression/anxiety
    Currently trying to figure out WTF to eat (for IBS-C).

  7. #5717
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    FYI: The sulfite counteraction pills work best when you take them AS you eat/ drink the offending article, or as soon as you notice a reaction.
    "No fate but what we make"- Sarah Connor, Terminator 2
    Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, steak in one hand, chocolate in the other, yelling "Holy F***, What a Ride!"
    My Primal Battle Tome

  8. #5718
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    He wakes up & feels congested, feel like it would be bad to take benadryl while still drinking. But B-complex would probably be fine. The benadryl today did help though. Forgot to have him take the B-complex.

    So my forecast was off, it might snow more tonight, but we're only at about 1" right now.

    Guys, the Hobbit 2 was AWFUL. Seriously disappointed.

    In other news, a friend (we'll call him S) seems to have alienated himself from all his other friends (my school friends) because of his former partner getting in an argument with one of them. To be fair, it was an awful argument & the ex-partner has a completely valid reason for not liking this other friend (A), but I believe S is in an abusive relationship with the ex-partner. S may be under the sad & mistaken impression that no one else will ever want him. The argument with A is the reason why ex-partner broke up with S. Ex-partner said, "You can't date me and be friends with him." Well, now S isn't friends with A, but ex-partner isn't getting back together with S, obviously. The continued argument has gotten to the point that several parties have made threats of legal action & ex-partner believes that A is harassing them anonymously online (they are not).

    S's birthday party was supposed to be tomorrow night, but I think no one wanted to go & it ended up getting cancelled. We have one mutual friend who might be able to get through to S and is in a position to bring it up to S's parents... so maybe something good will come of this.
    Journal on depression/anxiety
    Currently trying to figure out WTF to eat (for IBS-C).

  9. #5719
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    Two hours of shoveling later, we cleared the sidewalks, front walk, back stairs, and we can get the car in and out of the driveway. Hulky needs to talk to Coach to understand if we are responsible for all of the snow clearing (we didn't clear the spots for the other tenants' cars), or if it's all the tenants. Because if it's just us, we need to renegotiate. This is too much for the two of us, esp. with Hulky's back.

    I made gluten-free scones w/ orange zest and chocolate chips. They didn't come out the right texture, more like huge, pillowy cookies, but they are FABULOUS.

    We are low on groceries and I will sadly have to venture out later for some meat & eggs.

    We really need snow tires. I am doing the sad & responsible thing of looking into getting two to put on the front of the Civic, instead of making a down payment for my next tattoo. I had to cancel the consultation for yesterday because of going back to therapy as it is.
    Journal on depression/anxiety
    Currently trying to figure out WTF to eat (for IBS-C).

  10. #5720
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    I took two nights off from 5-HTP over the weekend, but my mood had really plummeted by yesterday evening so I took 50 mg last night. I didn’t get enough sleep, but I think I’m feeling better. I don’t think the L-tyrosine is helping sufficiently with the anxiety. I’m trying to decide if I want to experiment more with adaptogens or try D-phenylalanine. I’ve been taking Ashwaghanda, but I don’t think it’s really helping. Eleuthero root seemed to work pretty well. I am in the middle of PMS week, so that is a definite factor for my moods, but I’ve been less than okay for the past month straight, so I don’t want to say that’s the sole reason.

    I think my hair finally started growing faster and I just ran out of biotin. I’m going to order more along with eleuthero root from Puritan’s Pride. Yay coupons, cash back, and discounts!

    I’ve been thinking lately about the identity involved in having mental illness. I’ve avoid calling my generalized anxiety disorder & depression (both diagnosed by a doctor when I was 15) “illness”, instead calling them disorders. I feel like the distinction is that I can cure a disorder, but an illness is something I will always live with. No matter what supplements I take or foods I eat, I will always be working to keep the illness at bay. I am not sure if I really accept this or am just feeling defeated. It feels somewhat relieving to call it an illness because I don’t have to blame myself for some of my irrational behavior or responses that I can’t control. I am also afraid to accept that identity because I don’t want it to let me take a break from finding a viable treatment method. I don’t think Hulky has the best understanding of how my brain works (not that I understand it that well either) and that sometimes makes it difficult for us to communicate.

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