I had a hard time falling asleep last night. I think I was a little ramped up from dinner at the in-laws. The kids were there, being crazy as usual. I ended up feeling a bit lonely in the midst of a lot of people. Hulky was wrapped up making pancakes for everyone the whole time. He made my gluten-free ones and I had bacon & sausage alongside them. When Hulky came to bed, I was a bit mean to him because he wanted sex & I wanted sleep. I donít respond well when Iím woken up in the middle of the night! Iím sure heís over it.
I had to berate myself out of bed this morning. A mantra of ďget the fuck up you lazy piece of shitĒ really gets the engines going. Sigh. I guess I am more than a bit down today. I am going to fiddle with the 5-HTP this weekend, probably not take it Saturday night. I feel too tired lately.
We are going out with some friends tonight. I shouldnít drink because itíll just screw up my gut, but I know I will anyway. I might ask Hulky if heíll stay sober enough to monitor my intake (heís paying anyway). I donít know if I trust him to do this for me, honestly, but itís better than just trying to rely on myself. I feel like I might just get plastered for the hell of it. Iím also kind of afraid that I might have a meltdown if I drink, but I am on the verge of not caring about that.
All of my orders are coming in early! Hulkyís bunny slippers are hidden away, three of the wedding photo books arrived (the larger ones, for Baba and our parents), and all of my supplements came in yesterday. I got this soap, it smells really good. I started my probiotic supplement last night, taking 3 capsules every morning now. Iíll re-cap my supplement intake next week once I get it sorted out.