Girl... you need to give yourself a big fat break. It's not like you want to be depressed, or you're sitting around moping. You back at your journal! You are one of the most proactive people I know about getting better. Most people who get depressed just pity themselves and feel like victims. You don't do that at all. That makes you a hero in my book
Now, the depression. In my experience this comes along when emotions gets too much and we begin to repress. So the depression is just your mind's defence mechanism. Unfortunately it's a flawed mechanism, because it's just like putting a raincoat on when you're drowning. Now you can't swim, and you've lost your ability to float.
Take off the raincoat. What's underneath? (Wow... sorry for sounding like a sleazy sex line )
I've realised recently that I'm an extremely intense person. It's part of what makes me amazing, but it's also "too much" for most people... and "too much" for myself. I can't cope with the intensity of my feelings sometimes - the bad ones. And then I get depressed.
But my most recent epiphany is that we need to embrace the intensity of our feelings... and apply them to our lives. Can you imagine what kind of life we would have if we funnelled that energy into living? But the first step is to feel it. I'm actually at this point now - I feel my intensity, and I throw it into living. I dont know if any of this resonates with you.
But irrespective - don't beat yourself up because you feel bad. Remember how I felt like shit a few weeks ago, and you reminded me about there were ups and downs? And there was - right now I feel great! And it's not like things are going smoothly in my life.
There will be an up right after this down - catch yourself, and feel yourself float back up.
<3 <3 <3 <3 <3
ETA: Vitamin D. Miracle supplement. Up your dose at winter!
Last edited by YogaBare; 11-22-2013 at 03:44 PM.
"I think the basic anti-aging diet is also the best diet for prevention and treatment of diabetes, scleroderma, and the various "connective tissue diseases." This would emphasize high protein, low unsaturated fats, low iron, and high antioxidant consumption, with a moderate or low starch consumption.
In practice, this means that a major part of the diet should be milk, cheese, eggs, shellfish, fruits and coconut oil, with vitamin E and salt as the safest supplements."
- Ray Peat