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Thread: Anxiety, depression, laziness...Can the nameless wonder change? page 559

  1. #5581
    turquoisepassion's Avatar
    turquoisepassion is offline Senior Member
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    Hey darling... Saw this and thought of you:

    http://www.culturesforhealth.com/sou...-bread-recipe/




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  2. #5582
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    namelesswonder is offline Senior Member
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    ^That looks amazing! The sourdough bread seems to be sitting okay with me.

    -Called AAA and finally updated my name (they did it over the phone, was not expecting it to be so easy)
    -Called Liberty Mutual and found out that we didn't do anything wrong to cause the slight premium increase (for the Mustang, it's just the economy
    -Need to call Neovia to ask about chiropractic coverage on the premier health insurance plan, but I'm 90% sure I'm going to sign up for it anyway. Thinking of doing the FSA as well, for a small amount, just for a few copays or maybe my dental copays, but not sure it's worth it for only about couple hundred bucks.

    I've been thinking about what I want to continue writing here. It's not helping me much anymore to "track" what I eat and how it affects me. More fruit and gelatin seems to be a good combo for my gut motility, though I am still dependent on magnesium citrate. As usual, this weekend, I didn't have a BM on Saturday. I want to figure out if that's because I tend to eat off track on weekends (dinner out Friday, Korean BBQ) and it's an inflammation thing, or I'm just not eating enough. Seems like even when I under-eat during the week, I can usually get a BM per day.

    I finally picked up some Ashwaghanda this weekend. My anxiety has been only just manageable. Some of this could be PMS this week, as I'm due for my period any day now, but either way, I need a way to handle it.

    I blocked myself from going on MDA this weekend by using the StayFocused app in Chrome. I knew I could remove the block at any time, but it was enough to remind me to find something else to do. I'm going to use it for all of Thanksgiving week

    How much of me writing is accountability for myself? Do I write because I feel guilty? What is okay for me to keep to myself? I'm so afraid of being judged. This affects all of my relationships. I want to be a strong person and I keep finding all these ways in which I fall short. I don't feel bad for not accomplishing certain things this weekend, but there are things that I DON'T want to write about because I'm afraid people will not like me. It's just another situation where I know I'm projecting things on myself that I don't project on other people. I try hard not to judge. I assume the best whenever possible. People can spend their money however they want and it's none of my business. I don't trust that other people will apply that same philosophy to me. And I know it doesn't matter if they don't, but it still bothers me. I wonder what it will take to get over this fear. I have considered going back to therapy more than a few times in the past couple of months, but I don't think talking about it with my therapist will give me any more clarity than I get by working through it on my own. I've been doing well, it's just been a rough couple of months.

    In how this affects me and Hulky: He's a very predictable person. I almost always know how he'll respond to something and that is very comforting to me. He can surprise me, don't get me wrong, but as long as I am honest and forthcoming with my feelings, we rarely have issues. I think it's more a matter of me just getting myself together sufficiently so that I never get into the mindset of "need to hide". It's not like I think to myself, "I really should talk to him about this" and I don't. I just revert a little into old habits of assuming that I SHOULDN'T talk to him about things that are bothering me. Honesty is always always always the best policy with him. Of course, this causes problems in my other relationships as most people don't appreciate that kind of honesty. I think swinging back and forth between Hulky-mode and other-people-mode (if that makes sense) is where I get into trouble. It's tiring. It will take time and yeah, I've been with him for nearly 4 years, but I was operating under other assumptions for the entirety of my life before him. It's okay to have difficulty with it. This is something I will talk to him about.

    In other news, the Mustang got a new alternator, but still needs a new battery. I'm ordering one today and we'll pick it up at Autozone tomorrow evening. Sadly, it's a size that's not very common, so we can't find anything cheaper than about $100.

    Hulky and I are running out of time to get a holiday photo taken (we're doing it ourselves, but need to do it on a weekend w/ natural light) so we may have to use one of the wedding phtos. Anyone else want to get in on my holiday card list? I'd rather only send to those who will send one in return. I need to come up with a final count soon so I know how many prints to get. I also need to spend some time with my mom to review the wedding photos & get a photo book printed for Baba.
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  3. #5583
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    naiadknight is online now Senior Member
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    Hey, same add as last year. I need an update on yours, though.
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  4. #5584
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    Quote Originally Posted by naiadknight View Post
    Hey, same add as last year. I need an update on yours, though.
    PM'd
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  5. #5585
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    Hey, can we meet again this Thanksgiving? We will be in Newton from Wed 11/27- Sat 11/30.

  6. #5586
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    Check out my curb find from the weekend:



    We cleaned it off and tucked it next to the fridge. It's just missing one slat from one of the shelves, which we can replace ourselves or just put some putty over the exposed nails.

    August_0102 | Flickr - Photo Sharing! We have it left of the fridge, with the drawer facing left so the slide-out cutting board can be accessed (from the front).

    Now I don't know what to put in the drawer! I put the knife block on top, just seemed more fitting there. The lower shelves just have the 8" cast iron (which we use regularly) and the tea kettle. When we get some nicer pans, maybe we'll stack them there for easier access. The non-stick pans we use are in the lower cabinets on the opposite side of the kitchen. Anyway, it's already gotten some use as a sandwich prepping station. You really can't beat free!

    The kitchen is severely lacking counters | Flickr - Photo Sharing!
    There's also some counter space in the pantry, so as long as we keep our recycling clear (it tends to accumulate on the counter below that top left cabinet), we should have sufficient counter space for most cooking endeavors.
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  7. #5587
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pebbles67 View Post
    Hey, can we meet again this Thanksgiving? We will be in Newton from Wed 11/27- Sat 11/30.
    Yes, I would love to! I don't have Wednesday off this year, so it'll have to be Friday or Saturday. I'll PM you or send a Facebook message so we can sort out a time/place.
    Journal on depression/anxiety
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  8. #5588
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    Quote Originally Posted by namelesswonder View Post
    Yes, I would love to! I don't have Wednesday off this year, so it'll have to be Friday or Saturday. I'll PM you or send a Facebook message so we can sort out a time/place.
    Awesome! and I love the curb find. Yay for free stuff!

  9. #5589
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    Hulky is off to visit a local prison as part of one of his classes today. I don't know when he'll get home, but I don't think we'll be going to kickboxing (my foot hurts, jump rope would be a very painful thing right now). That gives me time to cook some stuff for our lunches for the week at least. Hulky joked that he wants to antagonize the prisoners, but when I gave him a sleepy kiss goodbye this morning, he agreed to be very safe & behave during the visit (so I know he's taking it seriously). I'm sure it will be an interesting experience.

    Holy crap, Christmas is too soon. I need to figure out what I'm making. If I start making small batches of applesauce now, I can probably come up with more jars than last year. The apartment is probably warm enough that I could make yogurt, if anyone wants it (my parents, Hulky's parents, and my godfather are all fans of my homemade yogurt). Baba basically told me that I have to make her some applesauce again .
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  10. #5590
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    Planning for Thanksgiving

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    Hulky's visit to the prison was interesting, I think, but it was a long day and he hasn't been sleeping well for weeks. He finally got some good sleep in last night. I am going to do some research on potential herbal sleep aids, maybe with Valerian root or Rhodiola. Theanine Serene doesn't do anything noticeable for him. I took some last night around 7:30 and slept pretty well until the upstairs tenant's cat started meowing outside our window at 6 AM. I HATE that they leave that poor thing outside all night, partially because it wakes us up every day and also because up until the past couple of nights, it's been very cold at night. I want to talk to the tenant, but I don't think it'll do any good.

    We need to get our Thanksgiving supplies this week/this weekend. I'm not sure how long fresh green beans will last and I'm not sure if I'd rather just used canned for ease. I could easily steam fresh ones the day before and put the whole casserole together on Thanksgiving day. I need to pick up some tapioca starch, pecans, more butternut squash, yellow onions, garlic, shallots, milk, and bacon. Hulky will need potatoes and whatever else for potatoes au gratin. He can use the tapioca starch instead of flour for the sauce. We need to borrow casserole dishes from my mom or pick some up, too.

    Cream of WHATEVER! | Food stuffs
    Paleo Green Bean Casserole | Fed and Fit
    Paleo Green Bean Casserole
    Thanksgiving Side Dish: Maple Bacon Pecan Roasted ... | Food stuffs

    I'm thinking of making this paleo butterscotch pie, which means adding almond flour (can get it at Trader Joe's) and coconut milk to the grocery list. I think I would use tapioca starch instead of the arrowroot flour and hopefully that would work fine (also 1 cup regular sugar). I could make this during the day.
    Paleo Butterscotch pie | Food stuffs

    In the morning, on Thanksgiving, I'll make gluten-free cinnamon rolls. That will require letting the dough rest (after mixing the yeast), so I'll probably be up at my usual time and maybe watch the parade with a cup of something hot.
    Journal on depression/anxiety
    Curing IBS-C with Vitamin C and magnesium citrate.

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