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Thread: Anxiety, depression, laziness...Can the nameless wonder change? page 550

  1. #5491
    tomi's Avatar
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    I think the kickboxing will be very good for you! I did that many years ago (before the fibro hit) and I was in excellent shape!! I was 38 years old and in the best shape of my life! My son was going to the school also - it was Tae Kwan Do style - he was a 2nd degree black belt at the age of 14 -- the youngest 2nd degree across several states. I keep encouraging him to take it up again. He was very good!
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    my motivation

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  2. #5492
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    I did a Mui Thai kickboxing class a few months ago... I loved it! I only did one though because I was exhuasted after it... we had to do like 50 million burpees before we even put on our gloves! Maybe when I get more fit...

    Just wondering... have you ever tried yoga? The right kind can really help with body consciousness.
    "I think the basic anti-aging diet is also the best diet for prevention and treatment of diabetes, scleroderma, and the various "connective tissue diseases." This would emphasize high protein, low unsaturated fats, low iron, and high antioxidant consumption, with a moderate or low starch consumption.

    In practice, this means that a major part of the diet should be milk, cheese, eggs, shellfish, fruits and coconut oil, with vitamin E and salt as the safest supplements."

    - Ray Peat

  3. #5493
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    I have done yoga. I feel just as stupid doing it. At my university, there were weekly classes that I went to for a little while. I don't remember enough to do it on my own. I suppose if I don't continue with kickboxing, I could look into joining a yoga class. Maybe it would be less pressure.

    I wish there was a switch that I could flip to turn off the body consciousness, but I'm afraid I'm just going to have to slough through it.
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  4. #5494
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    I imagine any physical activity will help with body self consciousness, if you stick with it Getting familiar with something brings its own confidence.
    "I think the basic anti-aging diet is also the best diet for prevention and treatment of diabetes, scleroderma, and the various "connective tissue diseases." This would emphasize high protein, low unsaturated fats, low iron, and high antioxidant consumption, with a moderate or low starch consumption.

    In practice, this means that a major part of the diet should be milk, cheese, eggs, shellfish, fruits and coconut oil, with vitamin E and salt as the safest supplements."

    - Ray Peat

  5. #5495
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    If you can run at all, or if you have the coordination to kick a ball (and if I have it, I know you do) look up a rec soccer team. Rec league usually means you can go in knowing nothing of the sport and being completely out of shape./ out of tune with your body. I played on a team in middle school where I was the most coordinated one, so I got named forward. My mother played on teams where the halfbacks weighed twice what she did and were barely mobile, and my mother is not a small woman. Rec teams are usually pretty forgiving and encouraging as well, because they've all either been there or are there.
    If soccer isn't your thing, maybe look up another rec sport in your area.
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  6. #5496
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    If you want to do Yoga at home just go on youtube --- there is a bunch of free workouts on there.
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    my motivation

    Weight goals:
    Highest weight: 216
    Current weight: 189 (7-16-14)
    Goal weight: 140

  7. #5497
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    Re: soccer - I played for a couple of seasons in middle school. I can run, though not well. I don't just mean that I mean that my gait is strange. The only way to rectify that is to run more, I'm sure. Definitely something to consider for next year, though it would require more investment in terms of equipment. Hulky was interested in joining a league on his own last year, but there weren't many close enough for him to get to easily.

    Re: yoga on Youtube - Sigh, and I call myself a computer person . I'll consider it. Mostly, I just need to stick with something. I'm doing kickboxing now. To take on more would probably be too much and I would bail on something. I may get a jump rope to use on weekends though.

    More reflections today. I guess it's Reflection Week over here on the Nameless Channel.

    I hate looking back, but it's often necessary when you're trying to find the source of ingrained habits. I know that my lack of self-confidence blossomed under the wing of depression & anxiety, but I don't think it started there. My fear of embarrassment starts with my parents. I don't think I was encouraged enough as a kid, just to try. There was pressure to do well, get good grades. If I didn't do well, I didn't know what to do with myself. It was not that anyone yelled at me or treated me that badly, but it was very clear that my response (shame/fear/embarrassment) as unacceptable, as was the failure. I imagine a situation that likely happened: my dad teaching my sister and I Russian. If I failed to pronounce something correctly, there was probably laughter. Over time, before I was even a teenager and the depression set in (unless its roots go farther back than I realize), the laughter made me feel shame. If I tried to protest against teasing, it was made clear to me that my protest was stupid. So, again, there was no option for me, but that's how I felt. I think this really explains how I feel bad about how I'm feeling and why I try to hide... basically everything.

    I have long been mad at myself for feeling how I feel, for being "flawed". I think a lot of people struggling with depression feel this way. "My problems aren't that bad, I shouldn't feel this way." But I'm just doing to myself what my family did to me: denying me my feelings. Hulky is the strongest tool in my arsenal now. He is my support. He is so blunt and honest and he asks that of me. I do pretty well in communicating myself to him and I am working on communicating myself to others as well.

    Last week was rough. The past couple of months have been taxing. But I am pulling through now.

    Perhaps more later...
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  8. #5498
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    Sometimes I wonder if there's something in the air... My meltdown happened last week too. It was actually Zach who pointed out to me that I have this pattern: fine, fine, fine - boom: meltdown, followed by a revelation.

    It seems like you're coming out of the meltdown and moving towards insight. That's very positive. The revelations are what make us grow.

    Ultimately the growth makes the pain worthwhile... but it's hard to see that at the time

    xxx
    "I think the basic anti-aging diet is also the best diet for prevention and treatment of diabetes, scleroderma, and the various "connective tissue diseases." This would emphasize high protein, low unsaturated fats, low iron, and high antioxidant consumption, with a moderate or low starch consumption.

    In practice, this means that a major part of the diet should be milk, cheese, eggs, shellfish, fruits and coconut oil, with vitamin E and salt as the safest supplements."

    - Ray Peat

  9. #5499
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    Quote Originally Posted by YogaBare View Post
    Sometimes I wonder if there's something in the air... My meltdown happened last week too. It was actually Zach who pointed out to me that I have this pattern: fine, fine, fine - boom: meltdown, followed by a revelation.

    It seems like you're coming out of the meltdown and moving towards insight. That's very positive. The revelations are what make us grow.

    Ultimately the growth makes the pain worthwhile... but it's hard to see that at the time

    xxx
    Exactly! It wasn't until the past couple of years (after struggling with anxiety & depression for the past 10 or so) that I realized every "step back" resulted in steps forward at the end. Now I can embrace that and I feel like I make more progress. I almost feel like when I see a bad spot coming, I can say to myself, "What will I work through this time?" instead of just, "Not again!"

    I'm starting to think that identifying as someone who struggles with depression & anxiety is a point of strength and not weakness. Maybe trying to "cure" myself is the wrong approach, or maybe that's just the wrong term to use. I don't always want to be depressed and anxious, but obviously I'm not that way 24/7. If I "cured" myself, I feel like that would be losing the parts of those afflictions that made me stronger.
    Journal on depression/anxiety
    Currently trying to figure out WTF to eat (for IBS-C).

  10. #5500
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    Quote Originally Posted by namelesswonder View Post
    I'm starting to think that identifying as someone who struggles with depression & anxiety is a point of strength and not weakness. Maybe trying to "cure" myself is the wrong approach, or maybe that's just the wrong term to use. I don't always want to be depressed and anxious, but obviously I'm not that way 24/7. If I "cured" myself, I feel like that would be losing the parts of those afflictions that made me stronger.
    When I was in my darkest phase ever (last winter) I was thinking a lot about how in other cultures depression and mental illness are regarded as spiritual tools for growth... and often the people who go through these experiences would be regarded as Shamans, who travel to dark reaches of human consciousness, and bring back wisdom It certainly seems like that. I dont know how you are perceived in "the real world" but people generally come to me for advice because I'm considered grounded, wise, and insightful. If only they saw my journal...

    I do think that specific kinds of suffering make you a complete person. People who suffer from depression experience higher highs, and lower lows... It opens a new range of human experience. What I've learned in teh last few months that is that both the ups and the down can spiral. Upward spirals are good, obviously. Downward.. not so much. it's important to learn to halt the downwards spirals. Still figuring this out
    "I think the basic anti-aging diet is also the best diet for prevention and treatment of diabetes, scleroderma, and the various "connective tissue diseases." This would emphasize high protein, low unsaturated fats, low iron, and high antioxidant consumption, with a moderate or low starch consumption.

    In practice, this means that a major part of the diet should be milk, cheese, eggs, shellfish, fruits and coconut oil, with vitamin E and salt as the safest supplements."

    - Ray Peat

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