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Thread: Anxiety, depression, laziness...Can the nameless wonder change? page 548

  1. #5471
    namelesswonder's Avatar
    namelesswonder is offline Moderator
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    First, a blast from the past. My sister and I as the Tooth Fairy and a Care Bear, respectively. This was my first Halloween trick-or-treating.


    Second, this is me with my new baby nephew last night! He's only 2 days old .


    He smells like baby and he was so cute and wiggly and then he fell asleep in my arms while sucking on my pinkie finger asd;ljas;dlfj;lk Hulky was adorable with him. I teased him a little and he said, "I couldn't stop smiling at him!" When his first nephew was born, Hulky was still in the Army. He got to see his niece a few times when she was really little, but I don't think he really got to connect with her and now she's 4! The third baby was born 2.5 years ago, and we got to see him for the first time when he was just a couple of days old, but it didn't seem significant. I was so nervous about holding a baby. Something seems different about this one though. I felt much more confident holding baby J. Hulky kept worrying about everything the baby was doing, but he just had gas haha. I hope we get to see more of baby J before he gets too big! The other kids were Mario, a fairy princess, and a monster (oldest to youngest) for Halloween.

    So my evening got better. Hulky spoke to Coach, who said that he'd have to think about having someone stay with us for an extended time. The thing is we really have no idea how long N would be with us. I called N and let him know Coach is thinking about it. N said he hoped it wouldn't be longer than a month and I think that's as long as I could handle (and I'm concerned about what would happen with Thanksgiving). But we'll see what Coach says. We have to drop rent checks off tonight anyway so maybe he'll have an answer for us. I'm still on the fence about whether to say no to N because of my poor stress handling capabilities right now or just use Coach as an excuse. I'm really torn between wanting to say yes and wanting to say no. N is being really understanding about it though and appreciates us even considering it, but it's so hard to hear your friend talk about sleeping in 24/7 grocery stores if he has to because he has nowhere else to stay. Apparently shelters are hard to get into in Boston. He's looking into doing sleep studies, which would get him a good amount of money & give him somewhere to stay. I'm trying not to feel guilty, but how can I not? I still don't know what to do. I called him last night and was going to say no for my stress, but I couldn't. The words changed as they came out of my mouth.

    I forgot that N doesn't know a lot about my personal history & issues. We kind of talked about that and I think it will help that he is somewhat aware of my disorders now. We agreed that we should sit down and swap stories sometime, so that will be nice.

    BM - Nothing yesterday. Type 3/4 mid-morning today.

    Food - I'll get back to tracking next week or this weekend. Along with the chocolate bar yesterday, I had some tiramisu, a couple of small pieces of candy, and a small gluten-free pizza. Hulky's family ordered pizza and FIL very kindly ordered from the only place in town with gluten-free pizza, just for me . Today I've only had OJ w/ collagen hydrosylate and supplements so far, including caprylic acid (have been taking it for the past few days) for that pesky rash.

    Body - I feel weak. I am sleeping well, but having weird dreams. It's all stress. I wish it was just a matter of sleeping enough, but I have to eat well and I don't know. I just feel so messed up.

    I think next year for Halloween, I will be Sabriel. At the very least, I can make a basic outfit & build a bell bandoleer (I'm sure I can find varying bell sizes in antique shops). If I wanted to make it a regular outfit for cosplay (if I ever go to conventions or faires), I'd work on getting some keys on the surcoat. From the looks of it, most people just use silver pen or paint to get the keys on, which would be time consuming, but doable.
    Last edited by namelesswonder; 11-01-2013 at 07:25 AM.
    Journal on depression/anxiety
    Currently trying to figure out WTF to eat (for IBS-C).

  2. #5472
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    Hulky is working on getting our honeymoon plane tickets today The prices dropped to the lowest we've seen in weeks. For some reason, Kayak is not accepting our debit cards. I think he's going to call and see what's going on (he got paid, so it's not an issue of funds, and the cards are activated).

    I am going to get ashwagandha and eleuthero root and start rotating those. I know eleuthero root helps elevate my mood a bit, alleviates anxiety, and helps me feel more energized. I've heard ashwagandha can be helpful for anxiety. I'm hesitant to go back to the amino acids now because I am sleeping fine and I don't want to take L-tyrosine without 5-HTP. If I was going to take an amino acid supp, I'd probably try DL-phenylalanine again, or get D-phenylalanine (because I had an odd response to DL- and I guess it's the L- that can do that for some people). Just gotta price out my options.

    I am getting some good stress reduction suggestions on Facebook. I need to find a way to get cycling back into my life. I would totally opt for some kind of exercise class if getting to it was convenient and I could afford it. I'll check out the community center.
    Journal on depression/anxiety
    Currently trying to figure out WTF to eat (for IBS-C).

  3. #5473
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    There's a kickboxing class being offered in my town, Mondays and Wednesdays from 6-7 PM for six weeks. No sparring. $100. I can afford it... Maybe that would be good for me. I'm hella nervous though. I want to sign up, but trying to work past my fear of making a fool of myself.

    -edit- I talked to my mom & signed up for it. Dear gods, what did I just get myself into.
    Last edited by namelesswonder; 11-01-2013 at 09:23 AM.
    Journal on depression/anxiety
    Currently trying to figure out WTF to eat (for IBS-C).

  4. #5474
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    naiadknight is online now Senior Member
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    You just got yourself into a good thing. I'm glad to hear you found stress release.
    "No fate but what we make"- Sarah Connor, Terminator 2
    Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, steak in one hand, chocolate in the other, yelling "Holy F***, What a Ride!"
    My Primal Battle Tome

  5. #5475
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    Kick boxing is fun! You'll love it! High fives for taking action on the stress dealing issues!
    Read post #2626
    my motivation

    As per Marcadav:
    Do 30-60 days clean primal.
    No grains, sugar, alcohol.
    Eat 3 meals and primal snacks.
    Don't track food.
    Don't tweak.
    Don't expect issues to go away quickly. Instead, just follow the plan and see how things play out.
    Decide on an exercise plan you can/will do consistently during the 30-60 days and then do it.

  6. #5476
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    That is great NW. I'm sure you will love it.

  7. #5477
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    I really wanted to drink my face off last night. I chugged a beer and had a margarita and all I had to show for it was a headache.

    As my mood has been sliding, I've been letting my food intake slide too. The desire to get back on track is low right now.

    I have to call N today.
    Journal on depression/anxiety
    Currently trying to figure out WTF to eat (for IBS-C).

  8. #5478
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    I am fully aware that I am punishing myself by not eating today. I've had a few prunes, a swallow of OJ, and a couple of carrots. I am not in a good place mentally.

    Silver-lining: Hulky and I got yard work done together. I got the wedding photos and am doing some light editing.
    Journal on depression/anxiety
    Currently trying to figure out WTF to eat (for IBS-C).

  9. #5479
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    I'm sorry for all the madness lately, guys. I know you are all out there sighing audibly on my behalf and I appreciate it .

    I think I'm going to stay off MDA tomorrow (not that I was on much today). Hopefully, Monday will bring a better report.

    In other news, Hulky signed up for kickboxing with me!
    Journal on depression/anxiety
    Currently trying to figure out WTF to eat (for IBS-C).

  10. #5480
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    Hugs and hope you feel better. (Shh sometimes I just don't give a fuck and do un-primal things like not leave my room for a day and veg out on chocolate and not being bothered. Just to get it out of my system. Don't tell lol)

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