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Thread: Anxiety, depression, laziness...Can the nameless wonder change? page 525

  1. #5241
    RittenRemedy's Avatar
    RittenRemedy is online now Senior Member
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    Hope you feel better. I have been fighting off a sore throat since vacation started and I think it finally caught up with me. I think it rode in on an accidental dose of wheat last night. Your soup and oranges sound sooo good.

  2. #5242
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    Didn't make soup last night. Cooking sucks when you're sick! I'm also the whiniest bugger when sick. All this post nasal drip is making me nauseated. I have to make soup tonight or I'll have no lunch for tomorrow.

    Yesterday was all about nursing the sore throat. Today all the grossness wants to come out of my nose AND throat so I am coughing a bit and have a roll of toilet paper at my desk. I think I'm going to resort to Sudafed. I'm also sneezing a ton. I'm sure tomorrow will be better but I haatteee tthiiisssss

    Peaters will be proud: I bought orange juice last night. That shizz is expensive! I wonder how a no-starch paleo diet compares with a Peat-inspired diet in terms of cost. The OJ is great for taking a bunch of my supplements, especially Vitex, which tastes awful. I like to think the extra acid in my stomach is helping burn away the sickness in my snot.

    BM - Type 6 this morning. I'm going to settle on 200 mg of mag citrate with lunch and again with dinner for now. If 2x daily is too much, I'll knock it back to once (post-dinner) and we'll see how that goes!

    The slippery elm powder tastes lovely in tea. I had it with the Egyptian licorice tea. Even Hulky liked it. I think I'm running out of marshmallow root extract. I get paid tomorrow so I can think about getting some more supplements.

    I used the neti pot last night, but it didn't alleviate the drippy nose for long. I wish I could go home and use it right now.
    Journal on depression/anxiety
    Currently trying to figure out WTF to eat (for IBS-C).

  3. #5243
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    Hey lovely, sorry you haven't been well! Hope you get better soon.

    Also, don't know if you saw my response on the other thread, but I would love to meet you and the Hulk in March if you're in London! When you start to plan the trip let me know, and I can advice you on where to stay and what to do

    xx
    "I think the basic anti-aging diet is also the best diet for prevention and treatment of diabetes, scleroderma, and the various "connective tissue diseases." This would emphasize high protein, low unsaturated fats, low iron, and high antioxidant consumption, with a moderate or low starch consumption.

    In practice, this means that a major part of the diet should be milk, cheese, eggs, shellfish, fruits and coconut oil, with vitamin E and salt as the safest supplements."

    - Ray Peat

  4. #5244
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    Yay! Yes I did see . I think we'll need to decide soon where we want to go so we can start booking things & get the best deals. I'll let you know as soon as we decide between warm vs. England haha.
    Journal on depression/anxiety
    Currently trying to figure out WTF to eat (for IBS-C).

  5. #5245
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    Ha, totally understand that Cool, I'll be keeping updated of your decisions anyway, lol
    "I think the basic anti-aging diet is also the best diet for prevention and treatment of diabetes, scleroderma, and the various "connective tissue diseases." This would emphasize high protein, low unsaturated fats, low iron, and high antioxidant consumption, with a moderate or low starch consumption.

    In practice, this means that a major part of the diet should be milk, cheese, eggs, shellfish, fruits and coconut oil, with vitamin E and salt as the safest supplements."

    - Ray Peat

  6. #5246
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    I think an appealing part of going to England, Ireland, and Scotland would be that there are plenty of historical sights & tourist draws there that we are already aware of. Making a game plan for travelling & what to see would be pretty easy. Hell, even if we spent a few days in London and then moved around, I think we could probably find plenty to do without a schedule. We seem to work best with maps, internet access, and wandering. When we went to DC, we had a few thoughts on what we wanted to visit, but then we spoke to the hostel manager & picked some adventures based on what he told us and what we found on the map. I think that makes an urban environment more appealing than a tropical getaway. We'd probably avoid things with big lines, or opt to go early for some things, but I don't think March would be very busy with other tourists.

    If we went to Hawaii or anywhere in Central America or the Caribbean, we'd be doing all the research from scratch in terms of what to see & what to do. We'd have to actually schedule a lot of things, activities like horseback riding, hiking tours, and paragliding. But we'd get to do things outdoors and we'd get to see clear blue ocean water! And swim in it! Warm ocean water! That is completely novel to me, having lived in MA my whole life and gone to beaches in Maine. Note: the water in the Northern Atlantic is COLD.

    On the primal side of things...

    I had an interesting revelation about my thought patterns recently. Sometime around moving and getting married, my memory has gotten better. I'm not leaving my keys, wallet, or phone in random places around the house anymore. If I do put them down somewhere & forget about it, I find them sooner/easier. I tend to remember just by thinking about it or with minimal searching. This is a very weird sensation as I have been prone to setting things down & forgetting about them my whole life. I have no idea why I'm suddenly having an easier time with this!
    Journal on depression/anxiety
    Currently trying to figure out WTF to eat (for IBS-C).

  7. #5247
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    I feel like gushing a little about my Hulky today. He sent me a text asking me to help find him somewhere to go to lunch in Boston (today is his all-day class schedule). I told him I'm going to get Sudafed soon to stop my nose from running and relieve some of this sinus pain. He wrote back, "Lame. Hook a husband up with a lunch venue my sick love!" It made me laugh.

    It seems a little silly (maybe it's normal), but it's those little exchanges like that every day that make me love him so much. I know him so well and can anticipate his responses to a lot of things, but he still surprises me. I hope I don't get sick of him for a while. 4 years since we started dating... Seems like a long time and yet not very long.

    Sorry, young love or something like that.

    4 years ago now, I was wrapped up in a friends w/ benefits situation with my best friend at the time. It was unhealthy. He was manipulative. I felt like I needed to appease him all of the time. Halloween was a turning posit with him, I think I started to feel more uncomfortable with him and realized things were not all okay, but didn't know how to talk about it. Hulky came around and we both risked being each other's rebound, but it seems to be working out well.
    Journal on depression/anxiety
    Currently trying to figure out WTF to eat (for IBS-C).

  8. #5248
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    Quote Originally Posted by namelesswonder View Post
    Sorry, young love or something like that.
    Don't be sorry. That is awesome. <3
    somehow I manage to leave my intelligence and decorum at the door wherever I go. I doubt your journal will be an exception to that - not on the rug

    What the F&#* is a decorum? - Mr. Anthony

  9. #5249
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    Dear Namelesswonder: I too struggle with severe depression. Because of arthritis in my hands, I can't re-type all this, so I'm just going to add comments culled from my Profile and elsewhere..... I was savagely abused as a child and taught never to show pain, weep in front of anyone, or admit to "weakness" for fear. I was diagnosed with Stockholm, PTSD, and a host of other mental illnesses, including Anorexia Nervosa (my first diagnosis, at age 11, which is a false one: I was never anorexic; instead, I had undiagnosed IBD! My immune system kept attacking my digestive system; it still does.). Unable physically to have children, I took devoted care of my Mom, a former athlete crippled with severe RA. I worked off the books for my Dad's business to help pay my rent to live at home for Mom after age 18. My father loved me but beat me occasionally; less than 18 months before his death he nearly killed me in a fit of rage when I tried to move my dying Mom to a decent Hospice facility from the horrifying nursing-home in which he had placed her. But he had his good side. They both did; I would have left their lives long before if they hadn't! I loved them unconditionally and was nearly destroyed by their passing.

    I went to college but ran out of funds & was unable to complete my [Cum Laude] BA, only 12 credit-hours away, to my intense frustration. Screwed over and medicated almost to death by the appalling psychiatric industry (gaaaah!) , I have gone from a lean, mean, hiking, bouldering, climbing, vibrantly active BMI 18 (that's not underweight for me; the BMI scale is too general and I'm very Ectomorphic) to a lethargic, disgusting, depressed BMI of 27 (horrors! Adjusted for me that's 30: OBESE!) with: PAT, MVP, asthma, high cholesterol, thyroid trouble, "the Change," Reynaud's, advanced arthritis, fibromyalgia, peripheral neuropathy, epilepsy (partly from the beatings, 25 concussions and a subdural hematoma), a MENSA-level IQ I'm only really starting to use at age FIFTY, and a host of Gastro issues too disgusting to mention that do include a brush with Adenocarcinoma, the same cancer that killed my Dad at the end of 2010; he died in my arms. My Mom had died of pancreatic cancer the previous year.

    I also lost one of my best friends to cancer (a Boomer like me), my favorite cousin died, then my beloved Aunt; and now my life-partner (Commonlaw), a very driven lifelong disabled athlete who pushed the boundaries for the handicapped for his generation in the UK and then here in the USA, is very ill; he is 77, the age my Dad was when he died. My best friends - one has cerebral palsy but is a genius and is having serious health issues; the other is right now sitting at the bedside of her son as he fights for his life against a mysterious brain ailment. I have a counselor for the PTSD, who just got diagnosed with cancer and is undergoing serious surgery.

    Yes, I'm depressed. I'm frightened. And I'm also...well, I'm FAT. And I don't mean a little chunky. I mean VERY fat.

    Put simply: I am a huge, waddling, lumbering mass of adipose tissue. And I know that is SO unhealthy! It is what's KILLING ME!!! But there's a problem: It's not from over-eating. My diet is already technically less than half what they call "absolute minimum requirements". I eat between 0 and 800 calories per day; usually around 500. 1000 is supposed to be the cutoff point.

    Yesterday my cardiologist said, "I don't care if you're only taking in 500 calories a day; if you're fat, and you certainly are, YOU ARE EATING MORE THAN YOUR BODY NEEDS!" I'm deeply ashamed to say he reduced me to tears of shame and self-hate. Then I got over it. I said to myself, "It's finally time for Extreme Fasting!"

    I've therefore decided that instead of cutting that to the 350 calories a day suggested (yes, again, I know 1000 is the cutoff point for Anorexia Nervosa, but we all know how arbitrary THAT is, don't we?!), I'd go on a complete fast using only water, for about 50 days.

    I've only done water fasts for up to 11 days before, and ended up quitting because I fainted repeatedly, plus the meds I'm on started taxing my liver and kidneys to the danger point.

    Years ago, I was thin & very active. When I weighed 85 pounds (I'm only five-two), however, I was too underweight: I had significant cardiac arrhythmia (A-Fib) that relented when my weight got up to about 92. Since I'm an Ectomorph, a slender body type with tiny light (now with osteopenia) bones, I need to weigh about 110 if more of it is lean muscle, because muscle weighs more than fat.

    That means I need to lose 40 pounds. Since eating salad, Luna bars, etc. at up to 800 calories a day is still "more than your body needs" as my Doc said, the only possible answer is fasting. I've been reading avidly about it, total fasting, combined with high-impact workouts (my rheumatologist has forbidden them, saying they've caused massive joint and connective tissue damage, but I simply cannot resist them; for just awhile, I actually feel HAPPY!), and I desperately want this fat OFF of me. I'm buried alive in it!

    I used to do eight miles of hiking and lots of good hard climbing a day every day. Never missed a day. And occasional hikes up to 35 miles with only one or two 10-minute rest periods and no food. It was PARADISE. Like FLYING, soaring in my Soul. Then I was forced to quit it all, because first my weight suddenly dropped from a healthy 116 to a sickly 88. I was threatened with hospitalization and intravenous feeding. My late Dad (a fanatical lifelong athlete who took Third Place in a Biathelon with 6 months left to live, in agony & riddled through with cancer, at 77) would sneak me out for a little light approach-climbing now & then. Nowadays if I tried those hills we climbed, I'd drop dead, literally. Sad.

    Then, after 8 years spent getting my weight back up to 109, I was allowed to work out again, but I'd totally lost my edge. And I'd aged greatly. I ended up in crippling pain and found out I had advanced arthritis and much more. I was put on Lyrica and gained 75 pounds in about 10 months! I lost about 20 but it crept back; I'm only down 10 from that max weight now. And still on Lyrica. That teensy workout last night has me in so much pain I'm gritting my teeth. How can I have fallen so far?

    I believe my prodigious weight is making it much worse now. I'd go on a complete fast using only water, no vitamins, for about 50 days. If I could be sure it wouldn't kill me; that's totally not the idea!

    I want to get vibrant, strong, and free from the excruciating pain that has me on (ugh!) Lyrica! I want to be out there exploring the world again. Losing my parents and the other deaths recently plunged me into severe grieving, but I will not take anti-depressants; that stuff is crap. It gave me Serotonin Syndrome & nearly killed me.

    Give me a healthy, abstemious lifestyle full of activity, intellectual stimulation and challenge - and ACCOMPLISHMENT - and I would feel like I could live "forever"! And enjoy every microsecond of it!

    I hope things will work out for you and your situation. You're so young; I think it will.
    Life Is To Be Lived, Not Merely Endured!

  10. #5250
    AndyGrok's Avatar
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    I got completely over depression with: transdermal magnesium chloride; 500 mg of elemental magnesium per day, vitamin d3; 2,500 to 10,000 IU daily, and 1-3g of omega-3 daily.
    Anxiety is another matter entirely... I have tried many things over the past year, spent around 1000 and a couple thousand hours of online research only to see mild to moderate improvement.

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