12-05-2011, 08:36 AM
Sounds to me like you might have a chronic sinus infection. I had the same thing going on for a long time. I finally broke down and took some antibiotics and I have not had a problem since.
Originally Posted by namelesswonder
12-05-2011, 09:04 AM
Wouldn't an infection show up in blood work? Maybe only if they're looking for it... It definitely seems likely, I would love it if this stops the constant post nasal drip! I'll shoot my doctor a message.
12-06-2011, 07:55 AM
I am so self-conscious of my breath now. I can't wait for the doctor's appointment tomorrow. I am nervous that they will try to just tell me to use a neti-pot. Maybe that would work, but I would rather try antibiotics AND the neti-pot. The nasal flush will be good for me anyways, since I was just sick, and I tend to get dry sinuses in the winter. I think I need to invest in a humidifier soon.
Today I am very sleepy. I finally slept last night! Boyfriend shuttled me off to bed immediately after Castle was over (11PM) and I was out quickly. He slept in the other room so as not to wake me when he finally felt sleepy. What a sweetheart. I woke up a couple of times during the night and was awake sometime after 7AM. My body definitely needs more rest (I REALLY want to take an epsom salt bath tonight), but at least I am on the mend at last.
Food: I ordered out last night. I am not happy with the decision because of the $ (my Christmas tree cash spent on food), but I was too exhausted to try and make the shepard's pie thingy. I got steak tips with rice pilaf and salad. I always make sure to eat the salad & meat first. I had some of boyfriend's french fries too, and he finished off my rice pilaf. I love the rice pilaf from this local place. My stomach was very gurgly after, but I don't have any bloating today. I think that's an okay indulgence for me, from time to time. I also had a cup of peppermint tea and a square of dark chocolate. This morning, I had a pork chop and most of a protein shake (rice milk, 25g of protein in one scoop of whey-based powder, a spoonful of almond butter), but started to feel really full and queasy before the end of the shake so I poured it out. I knew I wouldn't finish it if I brought it to work, and I had no practical container in which to transport it. I think I will make it through the day without getting hungry, but if I do, I know it's going to be late, and not TOO hungry. Tonight I will make that shepard's pie! I need to read some recipes on mashed cauliflower to make sure I know what to do before it's time to cook tonight.
I almost went to pick up the kettlebell this morning. I think when my energy issues are a little more sorted out and I can get up earlier (7AM would be optimal), I will be able to use the KB as I want to. I know the leptin reset recommends not working out until after 6pm, but I don't know the reasoning behind that and it's just easier for me to work out in the morning. I am not worrying about it.
Brain: I took two Theanine (total of 200mg) this morning. Why? I don't really know. I have been SO overly emotional since mid-late last week. Something is depleted, at least, that's what I think. Even watching HIMYM last night made me get teary-eyed! I can't handle this! On the plus side, I have been feeling a lot happier lately and finding it much easier to laugh!
12-06-2011, 09:44 AM
Glad you're laughing! It helps so much and is so easy to overlook!
Still- *mental hugs* I know the need to snuggle- and it's hard when it can't be acted on.
When I was reading about your boyfriend- I wanted to offer a suggestion. Obviously this is mostly a guess- but I'm not really a "sharer" either, so maybe this will help? Approach him from logic and fact. Beer does not make you feel good. What if you drank X instead? (wine, liquer?) I see that you are drinking very regularly and I have concerns about your health. Alcahol is a poision. Maybe he is willing to talk about why he drinks- it's very possible he's using it as a crutch or to avoid something, but maybe he's not there yet. Facts, however, are facts.
I know he loves you, Wonder, and I hate to be a wet blanket, but make sure that you at least occasionally look at the relationship from a distance. Particularly if you're serious about making it permanent.
12-06-2011, 11:10 AM
I believe he uses alcohol as a crutch. In fact, I think he knows that. He knows how awful his semester has been. Is it a coping mechanism? Yes, I suppose so. Is that bad? Well, sure. He just doesn't care, and he doesn't understand that usually when your SO cares about something like this, it means something is wrong and you should consider doing something about it. He's a stubborn git about health in general. He has basically resigned himself to the fact that his body is broken and it's only going to get worse (which I COMPLETELY DISAGREE WITH, but it's only going to get better if he takes the time to learn more about how to take care of himself). I think things will be better when the semester is over and he has a brief reprieve and then starts new courses, but I'm also a bit worried that he's going to drink MORE over the break, when he has a ton of free time.
Sometimes I'm not sure what to worry about. Should I try not to worry about him and let him figure it out (because he ultimately probably will)? Is it okay to just worry about me right now? It's not like I don't care about him, I just can't have both of our issues knocking around my head at the same time. I'm pretty sure a couple weeks ago I wasn't worrying so much about him so I am definitely chalking this up to hormones (had to take an emergency contraceptive last week and the false-period started today) and from having been sick. Boyfriend and I were talking about the car today (he was on his way to doc's appt to get a letter that will let him appeal and hopefully withdraw from a course with no consequences on his GPA or financial situation) and he hung up on me. It's not my problem if he refuses to take the bus. Maybe I should leave bus fare when he needs to go to the grocery store, I have the car, and he hasn't bought a T pass for the month (money is tight for him this month, was cheaper to just pay for the fare he'd need, so he can't afford to take extra trips). I have not been able to save ANY money since we got the apartment, because our grocery spending has been so un-even (I have to get fresh groceries frequently in order to eat healthy, and sometimes once a week is not enough, whereas he just eats ramen so he only needs to go when he runs out) and he hasn't been having as much income as usual. There is absolutely NO WAY I could afford a car right now, let alone the insurance and upkeep to keep it. I am back to being exceptionally frustrated about my financial situation. I'm not sure if I can't mod the scooter to be fast enough to make it worth trying to drive in the winter, when the road conditions are acceptable, but I need to get off my ass and try it.
I'm vaguely considering going back to therapy to get some of these things off my chest, but I don't think I liked my previous therapist enough to go back to her. I think some of this excessive worrying has to do with my transition off the Lexapro as well as just the Holidays. Yes, I AM worrying about having presents for my family The only thing I have ready is my little brother's laptop, which he might not be getting since he's in a lot of trouble for repeatedly vanishing instead of biking straight home after his drum lessons for several weeks in a row. Fail on my parents part for not making consequences for this sooner. They took my suggestions to heart though, which really means a lot.
I just took another Theanine (thee-ah-neen or thee-ah-nine?) and some GABA Calm because I'm upset. I haven't been consistent about taking the Theanine in the afternoon. I wonder if the GABA Calm will work better now that I'm off the Lexapro, instead of making me feel emotion-less.
Stepping back on looking at our relationship from a distance... I don't want to, but I know I have to. I know that if he does not shape up and try to tackle his issues with dealing with poor health and managing that with school work, I am much more concerned about how we'll handle issues together, like when we have shared finances (presumably), or have to make decisions on a potential child. Is he worth the trouble? Yes, he most definitely is, but if he won't change, I'm going to have to be able to recognize that and know when to give up and possibly let go. I'm stubborn too, I don't want to give up on him. It's funny, we don't fight often, but when we do, they're usually pretty upsetting and they always have something to do with how one of us behaves.
12-06-2011, 11:28 AM
Well, it looks like you know what you need to do. That's good. I'm still going to suggest that you worry about yourself first and foremost. If you don't take care of you, no one will. It's good that you're concerned about him. It means that you care. And he does appear to have parts that are really worth caring about. But- when it comes down to it- if worrying about him means that you can't take care of yourself, he's a big boy. He can take care of, or not take care of, himself.
Brave girl considering driving your scooter in Mass in the winter! When my dad was riding his motorcycle in the winter, he had an insulated flight suit one of his military friends had given him. Do you have enough layers to stay warm? (My parent's early marraige was a lot like your situation. He was driving the motorcycle because he couldn't afford to drive the car)
One of my very dear friends announced to me one day that he was "getting old." "You're 29." "Yeah, getting old." "You're old because you think you're old." Fortunately I wasn't dating him so I could let it go with little more than a massive mental facepalm. Of course, he also thinks that frozen pizzas are a real meal and hamburger that isn't already in patty form is too much work. It's a good thing he doesn't live far from his mother . . .
12-06-2011, 12:02 PM
No I don't have enough layers to stay warm One of my Christmas presents is going to be good gloves from my mom, and I am so looking forward to them. She offered to get me some insulated pants (skiing pants would probably work well), and I forgot to take her up on the offer... I should email about that.
We live two blocks over from boyfriend's mom =P
12-07-2011, 08:30 AM
Okay, got to slow down again. Yesterday was a rough day for my head. I was highly emotional. AS USUAL, I got home and boyfriend wasn't mad or anything. Him hanging up was a good call because it stopped us from really fighting, but I still could not let go of my concerns. I did some research on how much a pre-owned car with not too much mileage might cost, and it's out of my budget for now. I haven't been able to save up any money since we moved into the apartment, and the money I *should* be saving is pretty much exactly how much I'd need to pay off a car plus insurance, let alone maintenance and gas costs. I need to be able to pay off more than the minimum on my student loans (and try modding my scooter) before I think about getting a car.
I want a Smart Car though I wrote a blog entry about my thoughts on earning additional income. Selling my skills with computers is probably the best bet for me earning additional income anytime soon, only I have no idea how to market this. It's definitely out of my comfort zone and I wonder if I'll be able to do it. Ever. Right now I just need to worry about saving up money in case we can fly down to my aunt's wedding in late April/May. And, you know, in case of emergencies It's not likely that I'll earn any more money at this job until at least 2013 because that's when my first salary review will probably be (unless it ends up being a year after hiring, in which case that'll be May of 2012).
Sleep: Boyfriend and I slept like rocks. I still have terrible dark circles under my eyes. I didn't even roll over in my sleep! My shoulder was sore this morning from not moving all night. I am still sleepy today even though I got 8 hrs of sleep. I might try to get to bed even earlier tonight and try to encourage boyfriend to as well. Going to bed and getting up at the same time as him makes falling asleep and getting out of bed so much easier. Even when he snores, it's very soothing to hear him fall asleep before me.
Food: I had some small cookies last night. They maybe amounted to the equivalent of 3 3" cookies. Not too bad, and a better option than the beer I was craving. I was tempted to finish off my half of the rest of the batch (pre-formed Christmas-themed sugar cookies), but I put them away in the cookie jar. I'm a little disappointed that I gave in to the temptation of wheat, but I need to cut myself some slack because the rest of the month is probably going to be like this. The shepard's pie I made was tasty. I make such a mess when I cook heh, boyfriend always complains. I don't think he liked it that much since he only had one serving (more for me!), but we want grocery shopping after and he got a bunch of bread products so he's happier now. We got some more apple cider so I am totally having more hot apple cider. I'll try not to make it a daily indulgence since there's a lot of sugar and I've been getting canker sores lately. The only part of the shepard's pie that didn't really work was the egg I added to the meat & veggie mix. I mixed it all up before putting it in the pan and the oven had been pre-heating for a while, but the egg sank to the bottom and cooked there. Also the cauliflower mash didn't taste like mashed potatoes, it didn't really taste like anything but I was okay with that since it wasn't a lot. I didn't add cream to it, just lots of butter & some garlic powder. It was a pain to try to make in my ninja blender though. I had to try to move the cauliflower around the blade system (several blades on a pole in the middle of the pitcher) to try and move the big pieces to the bottom and that probably took 20 min total.
This morning, I had two small steaks (really thinly sliced, maybe 1/2" thick) with my supplements. I was hungry after, but not in the mood/didn't have time for a protein shake, and I'm not hungry now. I have some shepard's pie for lunch, which I left in the car. I'll go fetch it if I'm hungry. The turkey carcass my mom saved for me went bad because she left it in their "cold room", aka the front entryway which is usually quite cold, but it's been a couple of weeks now and the weather has been pretty warm during the day lately. Oh well, I'll just have to make me a bird sometime!
Brain: Sleepy, so my thoughts are a bit slow (I'm leaving off bits of words here and there while typing and forgetting what I'm doing a lot), but otherwise I feel okay. Thinking back on yesterday does not make me feel emotional, so I think I'm more stable today. I'm not going to try extra Theanine again and will stick with trying GABA Calm when I am really upset or anxious. That seems to be working out okay. I need to remember to take the Theanine in the afternoon though.
Doctor's appointment: I went to my doctor this morning. She had me get more blood drawn to check for any signs of infection (that nurse SUCKS, second time she's taken my blood and I bled a lot afterwards and I'll probably get a bruise again) and I did a lung function test. Everyone thinks it's most likely some kind of allergy, which is disappointing. I need to be able to manage this, the post nasal drip is obnoxious! I will try the neti-pot again tonight. I think I blew too hard when I tried it last night because I felt more congested afterwards, and my sinuses are very swollen feeling today (and I have a headache). Yay Not helping with the tiredness! But I did get a prescription for a 10 day course of antibiotics too! She also got me an inhaler to try for the chest tightness, but she said if I feel like I need to use it more than twice a week if my symptoms do not improve, I'll need to see an allergist. Fuck them, I don't have asthma.
Hair: I almost gave in to a "just this once" shampoo with the Head & Shoulders that boyfriend uses. He said my hair felt gross yesterday (usually does not comment, so that's worth noting). It wasn't grimey, but it was oily. This morning it smelled a bit off and I focused on getting a lot of conditioner on the length of my hair as well as onto my scalp/roots (I think I missed the front of my head because it's a bit itchy). It actually feels really good today! It doesn't look all clumpy, it's scentless, and there's no grime. Maybe my head is finally transitioning! I am still shedding like a maniac.
Body: In terms of hygiene, I discovered yesterday that the primary ingredient in my deodorant (Ban roll-on) is aluminum something. Oops. Time to get a salt crystal. In terms of exercise, I did 50 KB swings yesterday & 10 assisted push-ups! I could not have done a single more, but I was surprised at being able to do 10, since 7 was my max before. I'm very happy that I did some exercise! I was bored while dinner was in the oven and just grabbed the KB and went for it. Maybe I will do more tonight... I need to find what my muscles' limit is in terms of frequency.
Last edited by namelesswonder; 12-07-2011 at 08:39 AM.
12-07-2011, 08:48 AM
I used fitday to calculate my carbs from yesterday. Uhhh...I'm getting practically none. Even one sweet potato is only 40-50g of carbs. I really don't know how to eat more carbs to see if that helps me feel better in general!
12-07-2011, 10:30 AM
Hi, I'mma delurk for a moment. A couple pages back, you mentioned that the bf said your breath was not smelling so great, I wonder if you're in ketosis? I know when my partner doesn't eat enough carbs, her breath gets rank and then I whine at her until she eats more.
Originally Posted by namelesswonder
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