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Thread: Anxiety, depression, laziness...Can the nameless wonder change? page 516

  1. #5151
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    namelesswonder is online now Senior Member
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    I think it just seems more weird in this case because we are buds with the landlord. Coach is basically Hulky's mentor, like a second father to him. Coach is also totally down for upgrades to the apartment and will pay for some of it, as long as it will match the current style/decor etc. For example, he installed some chrome towel bars in the bathroom and when the tenants asked about a toilet roll holder, he got a chrome one to match. He approved us installing shelving in the hall closet, I just need to remember to borrow the stud finder from my dad so we can make sure there's actually something to anchor them to.

    I don't think we'll do any major upgrades beyond getting some blinds for the living room (only room in the house that doesn't have them aside from bathroom, which has a frosted window), but it's nice to know that we can.

    We stopped by Coach's house last night to drop off rent and ended up chatting for about an hour. We noted that the last person who did the stain or polyurethane on the french doors & some of the painting around the place did a really sloppy job. It might have been my sister, but she's a pretty neat person and as an artist (she helped Coach's son, Hulky's BFF, a few years ago when they were between tenants), I know she knows how to control her brush strokes. I'm going to see what I can clean up.
    Last edited by namelesswonder; 10-02-2013 at 06:56 AM.
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  2. #5152
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    He sounds like a reasonable dude. I am sure he will work with you all. Heck, you are making the place better.

  3. #5153
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    I did a kickass job on the lower kitchen cabinets, that's for sure. I might do the uppers at some point, as one corner is a bit sticky feeling no matter how much I clean it...

    Also, he is coming over soon to help us pick a spot for the chin-up bar. He wants it to be somewhere that it could stay permanently, but there doesn't seem to be a good doorway for it that's out of the way.
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  4. #5154
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    namelesswonder is online now Senior Member
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    Dudes, I feel like sharing today. This is on my mind. This is probably more personal than usual.

    I have had baby craze all year. Maybe longer. At some point in the last year, the topic of having a baby came up and it was suddenly appealing to both Hulky and me. Of course, it was entirely impractical. School, finances, time etc. I had to talk us both down from it. But I've been reading birth stories occasionally and poking around at all kinds of natural pregnancy/birth stuff... I figured, what's the harm in being informed/prepared? We have talked about it further since then. Hulky does not feel emotionally/mentally prepared for a baby soon. I'm not sure... I think I might be ready. I have some misgivings, but I feel like the obvious deadline of baby-due-in-x-months would help.

    The IUD is safe. There is no chance for mistakes. If something goes wrong, it won't be on us. That is relieving. But I think the semi-permanence of it has kind of depressed me and killed my sex drive a little (but it's only been a week so I'm sure things will change). There's (for all intents and purposes) no chance of baby until the thing is removed, so it's entirely on us to plan it out. I guess I'm a bit sad that we're not in a place that a spontaneous pregnancy is an option. I've been saying maybe we'll have a baby in 2-3 years, but the other day Hulky said 5... It's something that I need to talk to him about. He needs to know what's going through my head. I think I'm just getting a bit ahead of myself. For now, I have plenty to look forward to, both short term and long term.

    Just thinking. Thanks for reading.

    -SIL's baby due sometime this month, unless it's late, then early next month. Someone else's baby won't be as exciting as my own would be, but maybe it will help.
    -We are having a Hallowe'en party on the 26th. I might do another Harley Quinn costume. Hulky needs to decide what he wants to be soon or I'm leaving him to put his own costume together.
    -I think we'll visit Baba some weekend this month or next.
    -Thanksgiving is next month?! I want to splurge and try a grain-free cinnamon roll recipe. Hulky and I will make dinner for ourselves. Not sure I want to roast a turkey.
    -Christmas is sooner than I'd like to admit. I'm looking forward to helping SIL's kids with presents & picking a tree out with Hulky. I think we'll get it earlier than usual this year. Hmm... I should probably get going on applesauce soon if that's going to be my gift for everyone other than Hulky again.
    -If we don't have a New Year's party, we'll go to Medieval Manor with the other Hulkys for the second year in a row and it should be a blast. This time, maybe I can drink and I won't feel uncomfortable with Hulky going out w/ his brother after, since Hulky doesn't have a cast on (FINGERS AND TOES CROSSED THAT HE DOESN'T GET HURT FOR THE 3RD WINTER IN A ROW).
    -Anytime now, we can be planning our honeymoon for March .
    -Hulky graduates in May of next year! We will find a way to celebrate, just the two of us.

    The scary stuff (Hulky finding a job) I am ignoring for now.

    Sidenote: I am considering registering as a Dudeist priest. I don't think I know anybody that would ask me to marry them, but it just seems like an appealing thing to do. Dudeism - The Religion of The Big Lebowski | Free online ordination as a minister at Dudeism
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  5. #5155
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    I'm not a baby guy. Frankly, they are not something I want to deal with. That said, what I have noticed is that no time is every a good time for a baby. Finances are never right. Life is never slow enough/fast enough/balanced enough. There is always 'something' going on. They are like exercise - oh, I would go today but eh...it is just too hot. Oh, I can't run today it is too windy. Damn, I was going to go but, shit, too cold. Go to the gym? Sorry, I have X,Y,Z to do. At some point you have to just man up and do it. Same with kids...plan all you want but the excuses can keep happening. 3 years become 5 become 10 and suddenly you are 35 and risks are higher and now is it worth it at all? Do you really want to be dealing with teenagers when you are 50? Your career is going so well do you really want to take a month off? A year? 5 years? Your marriage is great will a baby f*ck that up? Your marriage is a bit rocky will a baby make it better? worse?

    so TL;DR if you are going to have kids just f*cking do it.*


    *just my 2 cents which are worth less than 2 cents.

  6. #5156
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    Appreciate it. But regardless of baby, on a single salary alone, the two of us could not get by for a month, let alone several. We'll see how things are once Hulky gets a job after school.

    But I am aware of the potential futility of saying "we'll see" over and over =\.
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  7. #5157
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    ^Great answer. (You be a pretty smart dude. Sorry, too much teenage talk around me.)

    I think anytime after Hulky graduates and gets a job would be a logical time to start. I actually timed my first pregnancy to the end of the year I became a tenured teacher. We became pregnant about a year after we married. Waiting to get a few more ducks in a row is just smart planning. But, I know it is hard to wait for something so exciting and wonderful.

  8. #5158
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    Geek and I mostly have it planned out that we'll throw out the birth control as part of the celebration when I get my PE license. Given that means it can happen as early as next summer scares the hell out of me.
    Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, steak in one hand, chocolate in the other, yelling "Holy F***, What a Ride!"
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  9. #5159
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    Quote Originally Posted by namelesswonder View Post
    Appreciate it. But regardless of baby, on a single salary alone, the two of us could not get by for a month, let alone several. We'll see how things are once Hulky gets a job after school.

    But I am aware of the potential futility of saying "we'll see" over and over =\.
    I understnad that completely. I am not saying to do it tomorrow. I am just cautioning about waiting too long. One year easily becomes 10. K and I were talking about it the other day and even if we changed our minds tomorrow she is still 39. That ship has sailed.

  10. #5160
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    Another thing I'm thinking about is that I'd like to have a baby before I'm 30, for the sake of my age when they are old enough to move out. 5 years would have both of us at 30 yrs old. I think it's pretty common in New England for people to wait until early-30's to have kids, so that was my reality when it came to my friend's parents and my parents (SIL was the first person I'd really encountered who had kids young, she's turning 27 this yr & has 4 kids, first was at 20). It doesn't seem unusual to me to wait, but I don't know how many kids we might have or might want to have. And I don't want to have kids after 35. No matter what people say, I'm not taking the risk. My mom had a healthy child, albeit with Down's syndrome, at the age of 42, so I know fertility is not going to be a problem for me. I just don't want to run the risk.

    Blargh. Now I'm feeling gloomy. I'm sure I'll perk up a bit after lunch. There's a hot dog lunch at work today, but I don't think I'll eat anything. Not sure I want to socialize either.
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