Page 488 of 740 FirstFirst ... 388438478486487488489490498538588 ... LastLast
Results 4,871 to 4,880 of 7396

Thread: Anxiety, depression, laziness...Can the nameless wonder change? page 488

  1. #4871
    namelesswonder's Avatar
    namelesswonder is online now Moderator
    Join Date
    Jul 2011
    Location
    MA, USA
    Posts
    11,857

    TGIF for realz yo

    Shop Now
    My mood/brain state is weird today. I am not sure when I went to bed. I think it was before 11 PM. Even if it was, that makes several nights in a row of later bed times which always adds up for me. Today is "crash" day. I'm not outrageously fatigued, that doesn't happen too often anymore, but I woke up grumpy. I "slept in" (could not fall back asleep so it was not very restful) and skipped my run. I stayed in my underwear until the last possible moment while prepping my lunch & breakfast (hb eggs) and then finally put on a skirt and a cute top. No cycling either. The weather is fine.

    I'm trying not to blame myself for anything or push myself or feel guilty. It's hard. I would like to run tomorrow so I can continue with my efforts. I would like to continue running until the end of the month, at least. Just so I can say I did it. I won't promise myself anything.

    On the food front, I had pureed butternut squash with butter & cinnamon last night. Yum. More today to go with lunch (made more chicken soup but left in the onions this time). So far, no gut weirdness, but the real telling thing will be CAN I POOP?! Sometimes I think diarrhea would be easier, but I think that's just a "grass is greener" thing. Or poopier. I think probiotics are going to be key in healing my gut. Yogurt did seem to help (BM within a few hours of eating it, sometimes), except for the whole it being dairy thing. Betorq reminded me that I could try goat's milk. Whole Foods has it and I think the local farm/market might too. Yes, I promise, if this fails, I will make sauerkraut.

    My toes are doing that swollen/itchy/numb thing again. Not as bad, yet. I guess this is when I go get some B12 tablets or drops and see if that helps. I didn't place my supplement order yesterday because I got nervous about the money. It can wait, though it probably shouldn't.

    I'm feeling a little frazzled about organizing moving stuff this weekend. I want to have my dad help Spackle & sand a couple places on the walls of the current apartment. I need C and his van to move dressers, desk, maybe chairs, and the dining room table. He's only available for an hour. I tried to move the queen sized pillow-top mattress on my own and I'm not sure I could move it more than a few feet with anybody else. This was just getting it up on its side so I could clean under the bed frame. A friend is also going to be dropping off a desk for me at some point (yay, bigger desk for freeeee) and we need to get the couch out onto the curb. It was difficult for C and Hulky to get into the apartment, it's incredibly heavy, and I don't think it has shrunk in the past 2 years.

    I think I will bring some laundry up to my parents' house tonight and ask my mom for help. She is good at organizing these kinds of things. But not her office. You don't want to see their house either. I just feel overwhelmed.

    While I'm here and it's a slightly less public place to gripe: We have, to date, had one contribution to our honeymoon fund aka. registry (and it was from Hulky's mom). To be clear, I am not asking for gifts from you guys. Please don't offer a gift out of pity if you were not going to, that is totally fine. That's why I feel like I can't gripe about it to anyone but Hulky. I also hate sounding so effing money hungry, but I am 95% certain we will not have a honeymoon next year unless our friends step up. Even if they do... it's not going to be much. Gawd, I'm gloomy today. I love travelling and I'm sad we won't be able to do something slightly extravagant next year.
    Journal on depression/anxiety
    Currently trying to figure out WTF to eat (for IBS-C).

  2. #4872
    namelesswonder's Avatar
    namelesswonder is online now Moderator
    Join Date
    Jul 2011
    Location
    MA, USA
    Posts
    11,857
    More griping: Today's funk is getting worse. I want to be at home and drink some chai with honey & coconut milk. I want to take a nap, even though I probably won't sleep. It's too damn cold in the office, I really dislike air-conditioning.

    If I was going to try and pinpoint what caused this mood... I don't know, maybe it's just the sleep deficit. Maybe I've been over-working myself this week by packing & moving things over to the apartment every night. It's just one carload, doesn't seem like that much to me. Maybe I'm just finally missing Hulky too much. Tomorrow makes it one week till he's home.

    And then there's the chance that the squash and/or applesauce (homemade, with a Gala and MacIntosh, very tasty combo) last night somehow screwed me up. I have no idea. I know I'll feel better tomorrow. If I don't, I'm going to try a low dose of 5-HTP.
    Journal on depression/anxiety
    Currently trying to figure out WTF to eat (for IBS-C).

  3. #4873
    diene's Avatar
    diene is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    May 2010
    Location
    Northeastern U.S.
    Posts
    1,660
    Hey, hang in there. Hulky's almost home.

    Moving is stressful. I absolutely hate it. Do you have anyone who can help you move all that furniture? Sometimes you need two guys to help you if you have big furniture.

    As for the honeymoon fund--do you think people haven't contributed because you guys didn't have an official wedding? I know you surprised everyone by getting married at your engagement party. I have friends who asked for money (essentially a honeymoon fund) instead of wedding gifts, and it's usually worked out. But they did have official weddings and wedding registries where the guests were able to contribute money.

  4. #4874
    namelesswonder's Avatar
    namelesswonder is online now Moderator
    Join Date
    Jul 2011
    Location
    MA, USA
    Posts
    11,857
    Oh yeah, people will be helping me move! I'm just getting the little stuff done on my own so the official moving day is just whatever I needed to get by for the last week or few days. Plus the bed I've been sleeping on haha. I need to talk to C, my brother in law, my father in law, and my dad about helping this weekend and the 31st. Just...orchestrating that is now stressing me out. If I could do it all myself, I would!

    At the party, we handed out cards with our wedding website URL on it and told people about the honeymoon registry. A few friends said they "didn't see the registry link" when they went to the site, but it's there, I checked the settings to make sure it wasn't turned off somehow. So maybe some people are just stupid/reading too fast and others forgot. Still sad because it's not really the kind of thing you can remind people about.
    Journal on depression/anxiety
    Currently trying to figure out WTF to eat (for IBS-C).

  5. #4875
    diene's Avatar
    diene is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    May 2010
    Location
    Northeastern U.S.
    Posts
    1,660
    You know, if you had a wedding party, you could remind them. You can never have too many parties!

  6. #4876
    namelesswonder's Avatar
    namelesswonder is online now Moderator
    Join Date
    Jul 2011
    Location
    MA, USA
    Posts
    11,857
    Quote Originally Posted by diene View Post
    You know, if you had a wedding party, you could remind them. You can never have too many parties!
    We were going to have a larger reception thing in a couple of years...but that's a couple of years. We don't have any $$ for a party right now. There will probably be some kind of get together just with friends after we move into our new place, since we usually don't have to pay for anything (people pitch in for food, or we could potluck it, and we do booze runs once everyone is there). I am just lamenting. I don't think there's anyway I can talk about it without either sounding greedy, like a bitch, or pathetic. All of which I probably am!

    I am way too negative today.
    Journal on depression/anxiety
    Currently trying to figure out WTF to eat (for IBS-C).

  7. #4877
    jenn26point2's Avatar
    jenn26point2 is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2012
    Location
    Iowa
    Posts
    7,697
    I feel your frustration with the honeymoon. Brad's and my honeymoon was solely dependent on wedding gifts as well. I was concerned about not having enough money to go on our honeymoon (our honeymoon was estimated to cost just under $2,000). We barely squeaked in enough money, but we did it and it was a good time. My FIL promised us that we'd get our honeymoon. Have you spoken to your family about it?

    I'm with diene on this one. Maybe everyone was planning to donate but the spur of the moment wedding threw them off and they aren't ready to give? Like they thought they had more time before they were expected to provide a gift. Try to be patient.
    Primal since March 5, 2012
    SW: 221 | CW: 182 | LPW: 166 | UGW: 140 (80 lbs loss)




  8. #4878
    namelesswonder's Avatar
    namelesswonder is online now Moderator
    Join Date
    Jul 2011
    Location
    MA, USA
    Posts
    11,857
    Some people have mentioned that we should tell them when we're planning, so I think they're waiting to donate closer to our actual honeymoon? Of course, we can't really plan with $0. I don't know if I should say something once we do start looking into options, but we seriously CAN'T book anything unless we get monetary gifts. There's no way we could save up enough and pay off our medical bills before December. I figured we look at Groupon in December-ish and book for his spring break in March. I might mention it to my mom and see what she says... but I'm not sure if my parents contributing would forego any assistance for a future party. Fuck money. I don't want to think about it anymore.

    I am full of anxiety today. It sucks. I have not felt this bad in quite a while. At least that's a silver-lining: it's been a while.
    Journal on depression/anxiety
    Currently trying to figure out WTF to eat (for IBS-C).

  9. #4879
    jenn26point2's Avatar
    jenn26point2 is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2012
    Location
    Iowa
    Posts
    7,697
    Hugs sweetie.
    Primal since March 5, 2012
    SW: 221 | CW: 182 | LPW: 166 | UGW: 140 (80 lbs loss)




  10. #4880
    namelesswonder's Avatar
    namelesswonder is online now Moderator
    Join Date
    Jul 2011
    Location
    MA, USA
    Posts
    11,857
    Aw. Chip was just like, "I figured me and Dad would move everything tomorrow and just carry it down the street." Those Hulkys, such good dudes. I think I'll have my parents over in the AM to help move some smaller things & patch up the walls.

    Dinner tonight with my folks. If my asparagus has not gone bad, I will bring that over to grill. My mom is making wings and I will suffer the consequences of any sauce she puts on it. I need a mental break.

    Just another hour before I can reasonably split...
    Journal on depression/anxiety
    Currently trying to figure out WTF to eat (for IBS-C).

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •