My mood/brain state is weird today. I am not sure when I went to bed. I think it was before 11 PM. Even if it was, that makes several nights in a row of later bed times which always adds up for me. Today is "crash" day. I'm not outrageously fatigued, that doesn't happen too often anymore, but I woke up grumpy. I "slept in" (could not fall back asleep so it was not very restful) and skipped my run. I stayed in my underwear until the last possible moment while prepping my lunch & breakfast (hb eggs) and then finally put on a skirt and a cute top. No cycling either. The weather is fine.
I'm trying not to blame myself for anything or push myself or feel guilty. It's hard. I would like to run tomorrow so I can continue with my efforts. I would like to continue running until the end of the month, at least. Just so I can say I did it. I won't promise myself anything.
On the food front, I had pureed butternut squash with butter & cinnamon last night. Yum. More today to go with lunch (made more chicken soup but left in the onions this time). So far, no gut weirdness, but the real telling thing will be CAN I POOP?! Sometimes I think diarrhea would be easier, but I think that's just a "grass is greener" thing. Or poopier. I think probiotics are going to be key in healing my gut. Yogurt did seem to help (BM within a few hours of eating it, sometimes), except for the whole it being dairy thing. Betorq reminded me that I could try goat's milk. Whole Foods has it and I think the local farm/market might too. Yes, I promise, if this fails, I will make sauerkraut.
My toes are doing that swollen/itchy/numb thing again. Not as bad, yet. I guess this is when I go get some B12 tablets or drops and see if that helps. I didn't place my supplement order yesterday because I got nervous about the money. It can wait, though it probably shouldn't.
I'm feeling a little frazzled about organizing moving stuff this weekend. I want to have my dad help Spackle & sand a couple places on the walls of the current apartment. I need C and his van to move dressers, desk, maybe chairs, and the dining room table. He's only available for an hour. I tried to move the queen sized pillow-top mattress on my own and I'm not sure I could move it more than a few feet with anybody else. This was just getting it up on its side so I could clean under the bed frame. A friend is also going to be dropping off a desk for me at some point (yay, bigger desk for freeeee) and we need to get the couch out onto the curb. It was difficult for C and Hulky to get into the apartment, it's incredibly heavy, and I don't think it has shrunk in the past 2 years.
I think I will bring some laundry up to my parents' house tonight and ask my mom for help. She is good at organizing these kinds of things. But not her office. You don't want to see their house either. I just feel overwhelmed.
While I'm here and it's a slightly less public place to gripe: We have, to date, had one contribution to our honeymoon fund aka. registry (and it was from Hulky's mom). To be clear, I am not asking for gifts from you guys. Please don't offer a gift out of pity if you were not going to, that is totally fine. That's why I feel like I can't gripe about it to anyone but Hulky. I also hate sounding so effing money hungry, but I am 95% certain we will not have a honeymoon next year unless our friends step up. Even if they do... it's not going to be much. Gawd, I'm gloomy today. I love travelling and I'm sad we won't be able to do something slightly extravagant next year.