I haven't been able to access the site until just now all morning! My day's amusement has been severely set back. And no, I didn't get more work done because there was simply no work to do.
Last night: I started to feel very ill in the afternoon and rushed straight home after work (so I hope to go to the grocery store after work today). I felt foggy in my head, like the lack of focus I get with a headcold, without the headcold. My boyfriend put me straight to bed and I slept for 3 hours. I had the grogginess of too-long-nap after and ate a sweet potato with butter because it's all I felt I could stomach. I warmed up a mug of whole milk & added a spoonful of honey. I don't remember having that as a child, but it made me feel very nostalgic, so I guess I did. It was tasty. I hope to try this with non-ultra-pasteurized milk sometime, but don't have access to that right now. I had a hard time falling asleep because of the nap. Getting out of bed was especially hard this morning. I have no idea what came over me yesterday, but I felt like all the will and energy was sapped out of me.
Today I feel empty. I feel detached. My focus is okay, better than it has been, but I feel so weird that it hardly matters. Today is my first day of Theanine & GABA calm (sublingual, the peppermint is a bit overwhelming for me unfortunately). I need to take my second dose of each now. Since my headspace is weird to begin with, leftover from yesterday's weird illness I guess, I can't really use today to see how it affects my anxiety except for the drive home (the drive to work I was really scatterbrained so that made me more anxious than I probably was to begin with). I noticed that as my anxiety increases, my blushing becomes worse. Today I did not blush when I spoke up to the rest of the IT group about a joke, so I think that's a good sign. Yesterday, I blushed hard at the attention. I also took 4 capsules of fish oil (closer to 2g of the fatty acids, maybe more like 1.5) because I read something recently about how that helped someone with nasal congestion. I think it helps mine minimally. I always have nasal congestion now and it is quite annoying. It seems unlikely that I'm allergic to anything I'm eating now. It doesn't ever seem especially worse.
No 'Poo: My hair smells musty and looks clumpy (though it feels okay, just the usual kind of grimy). That is not helping with my overall drifty mood/headspace. I can't wait to get home & wash my hair. It felt squeaky in the shower so I thought it would be okay. No such luck. I am going to do a BS/ACV wash after work & use the cool air setting on my blow dryer for a bit. I don't like how much longer it takes to get my hair to dry like this. I would like to get some sulfate/silicone free shampoo from Whole Foods this weekend to see how that makes my hair feel.
Food: Yesterday I could not eat. I wonder if the drumsticks I made went bad before I cooked them? Nothing sounds appealing today, but I am vaguely hungry. I had a 4-egg omelette with cheese this morning to try and hold me over until dinner. I am starting to feel ill again, on top of a bit hungry. It's not a queasy feeling, but almost feverish, without the heat. I am going to have to fight hard not to fall asleep before 10pm tonight, or if I do, stay in bed until the morning!