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Thread: Anxiety, depression, laziness...Can the nameless wonder change? page 418

  1. #4171
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    namelesswonder is offline Senior Member
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    Thanks guys, love you too. The alive-aversaries get easier every year, but I still remember how hard it was for the first few. Just knowing where my headspace was back then makes me sad, but I am also really glad to be here now. Sometimes it strikes me that I'm 3 years graduated from college and I get really surprised and proud.

    Quote Originally Posted by canio6 View Post
    As for friends and stupid jokes, eh, wtf are friends for if not making you feel superior by association at times? Also, if it makes you feel better, I've had short hair for years and have never been a lesbian. Not that there is anything wrong with that. I just can't pull off the outfits.
    Haha, now those would be some fun outfits. My dad is always good for hair jokes, having been bald for a good number of years now. If people talk about hair difficulties in front of him, he usually rubs his head and goes, "Oh, yeah, I hate when that happens."

    When it comes to the crack about being a lesbian or whatever he said, I guess I am getting increasingly tired of gendered stereotypes. I forget that most other people don't feel that way.

    Thanks for the food tips. I definitely like crunchy apples. I'll pick up a few types and see what's what!
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  2. #4172
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    Quote Originally Posted by namelesswonder View Post
    When it comes to the crack about being a lesbian or whatever he said, I guess I am getting increasingly tired of gendered stereotypes. I forget that most other people don't feel that way.
    I think it is a matter of attitude. Honestly, I have no issues cracking on gay friends about being gay. It is who they are, and to me is no different than them cracking on me for being short or fat or whatever. I am short and fat, so why the f*ck would I be offended? Of course, we understand that so it is not a big deal. That is completely different from some asshat making snide remarks. As with many things, context makes the difference. Sounds like your friend was being an idiot though.

    As for gender stereotypes, well, I've got nothing, as K is about as far from every stereotype as you can get. Though, on a completely different note, I do find the term "CIS gendered" to be offensive, though again that is generally about the tone more than anything.

  3. #4173
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    Quote Originally Posted by canio6 View Post
    As for gender stereotypes, well, I've got nothing, as K is about as far from every stereotype as you can get. Though, on a completely different note, I do find the term "CIS gendered" to be offensive, though again that is generally about the tone more than anything.
    Ugh yes. I mean, I definitely don't mind it if people need to make that distinction. That's fine. I just don't personally use it as part of my identity. I personally don't find much user for the modifiers. I'm a woman, someone else is a woman, those other people might have penises and may also be women. If people are comfortable with tacking stuff on to them, great. I'll use whatever terms they want. I just don't care for me. And yeah, I see it used a lot in an offensive way online. It's my big gripe with feminism too. Misogyny has a huge history and is awful and all, but how is misandry helping...? I don't like people trying to fight hate with hate. Anger is all well and good, but I don't think it really belongs in a good argument.
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  4. #4174
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    Stereotypes can be irritating, especially since I fly against so many of them. I try not to judge you before you open your mouth, I'd thank you for the same kindness. That said, when you're wearing a Budweiser shirt and the same mildly dazed expression as your cow, while chewing your cud (excuse me, tobacco or gum), it makes it a little difficult.
    As to being called <insert snide comment deriding a group of people>, it doesn't tend to bother me. My standard reaction to being called lesbian is "nope, married. I don't think he's a chick, anyways." Butch? "Nope, that was my dog's name." Dyke? "what, am I holding water?" Bitch? "Thank you, I'll take any other compliments you have." <extremely homophobic slur> "Honey, are you afraid I'll kiss your girlfriend? I'm married." <Slur against the mentally challenged> "No, I'm not. Even if I was, I'd still have gotten further in life than you. Get lost." Cracker/ redneck/ white trash? "Yes, my skin is pale, what else ya got?" <Slur against Geek's ancestry and our relationship> "Yes, I love him, and I fail to see the big deal."
    while it irritates me that anything like that can be considered an insult, I chalk it up to people being stupid, offer my canned retort, and walk away.
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    Happy Alive-a-versary! I join the ranks of those glad you're still around.

    I saw your post on Facebook and was annoyed for you. I had a haircut in college and was asked if I was a dyke b/c I looked like a dyke with a dyke haircut. I was drunk at the time, so I didn't take offense to it. I still don't, I guess. Whatev - doesn't matter. I know the truth. Let people think what they want.
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  6. #4176
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    Sometimes I still care a lot about what other people think of me. I realize I can be terribly contradictory, haha. I don't know why this was bugging me today as it happened several days ago. Ah well, out of my system now.

    I think my next personal improvement process is going to be destroying my habit of apologizing. Even when I'm not saying "I'm sorry" for things (like whining, venting, complaining when I need to let it out), it's implied. It will take longer for me to smother the feelings of badness for "being obtrusive" or what-have-you, but eliminating the language and speech style will be a good first step. That said, it's still a great tool in the IT world. Apologizing for things that aren't your fault, when used correctly, can help put people at ease and diffuse tense situations.
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  7. #4177
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    Quote Originally Posted by namelesswonder View Post
    That said, it's still a great tool in the IT world. Apologizing for things that aren't your fault, when used correctly, can help put people at ease and diffuse tense situations.
    Yeah, "I'm sorry you fail to grasp the concepts used in simple technology" or "I apologize that you are not smart enough to know how to reboot your computer" could be very useful...


  8. #4178
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    Quote Originally Posted by Finnegans Wake View Post
    More and more, Mrs. F. reminds me that I really am turning into one of those old men in the grocery store (e.g., they'll just stand there picking up steaks and rip out a thunderous fart and give not one one-hundredth of a shit what people think). I try to keep the public farting to a minimum, maybe, but the part about not giving a shit what people think about me? Bah!
    Please try not to ACTUALLY give a shit while in the grocery store
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  9. #4179
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    Quote Originally Posted by namelesswonder View Post
    Please try not to ACTUALLY give a shit while in the grocery store
    hahahahaha ^5!
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  10. #4180
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    Quote Originally Posted by jenn26point2 View Post
    hahahahaha ^5!
    indeed.

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